It's very easy to say that we want freedom.
We see this word included in most spiritual teachings.
And you can substitute the word freedom for awakening,
Enlightenment.
But most practitioners will experience some amount of fear with regard to freedom,
Usually at more than one point in their journey.
At the outset,
We just want relief.
So we hear the word freedom,
And we think,
Great,
I won't have to feel shitty anymore.
At this point,
We're probably using all kinds of coping mechanisms to deal with our pain.
Maybe we've seen that the coping mechanisms actually just create more pain.
So we've decided that we want out,
So we start to look here and there at different spiritual teachings,
And we see this word freedom,
And we go,
Yeah,
Yeah,
I want that.
At this point,
We probably want it in the same way as we want anything else.
But at least the pursuit of freedom,
Whilst still dualistic,
Is healthier and more beneficial than the pursuit of gratification.
A little while later,
We might start to understand the real implications of freedom,
What it's really like to let go.
We may see our relationships to various aspects of our lives changing.
And in that dualistic perspective,
Change is scary,
Because we still think that security comes from things being the same.
We've yet to see that real security lies in being profoundly okay with change.
Real freedom includes everything.
Real freedom means that you allow yourself everything,
That you don't hide from any of your thoughts or feelings.
You don't hide from any of your behaviors.
You watch them all play out.
You give compassion to yourself,
Regardless of how you manifest,
And yes,
This is still dualistic.
Beyond this,
There is nothing to be said.
There's just are.
And there's actually no you to be found in any of it.
I remember towards the beginning of my earnest practice,
Being very scared that if I let go of the reins that I had seemingly attached to myself,
Then I would just go party all the time.
I would lose myself in instant gratification.
Actually,
The opposite has been true.
The more I've let go,
The less I have needed gratification in order to feel okay.
The next fear that I encountered was that in the lessening of that need for gratification,
There came a lessening of a need to gather the resources which I would exchange for that gratification so that I even ended up in a place where I didn't need work beyond earning the bare minimum for the purpose of paying rent,
Buying food.
My relationship to every single aspect of my life changed until there was no need,
No wanting,
Just liking and doing things in celebration,
Celebration of each phenomenon as it is,
Each moment as it is,
No matter what its appearance,
No matter what its color.
This is not scary.
This is freedom.
And this freedom doesn't have to look like any model of freedom you have ever encountered.
Models can be useful,
Especially from the dualistic perspective,
Whilst we still have the appearance of aiming at things going on.
It's good to aim at things that are healthy,
That are beneficial.
In the end,
There's no one here to aim at anything.
And all that's left is relaxation,
Full acceptance of every moment as it is.
This is security.
This is freedom.
