The inner critic in your head is sneaky,
Often hiding in phrases like,
I should,
I never,
Or what's wrong with me.
It's even there when you don't notice it.
Hi,
I'm Dana Mitchell and today we're talking about how to spot that inner critic and I'll give you buzzwords to look for and some fun ways to get your friends involved in keeping that critic at bay.
So let's start with who is this inner critic that I'm talking about?
Well,
We all have one,
Not just you.
It's the little voice in your head that judges,
Doubts,
And points out your flaws,
Often harsher than anyone else would.
It's not the truth,
But it's a mixture of old fears,
Comparisons,
And borrowed beliefs that can hold you back if you don't learn to recognize it.
So how do we do that?
Sometimes there's buzzwords and it slips into everyday phrases like,
I should,
I always mess this up,
I'll never get this right,
What's wrong with me,
Everyone else can do this better.
So here's a funny idea for you.
When you hear yourself using those phrases or those buzzwords,
Name that critic.
Give it a funny name.
Negative Nancy,
The Judge,
Grumpy Gus,
Give it a silly name because it takes away its power and it's easier to talk back to it.
Another tip is it can be hard to notice these words in ourself,
In our everyday speech.
But you know where you can find it?
You can hear it in other people in the things that they say.
So I catch these words from family,
Friends,
Or even on TV shows that I'm watching.
When someone says something like,
I'll never be good at this,
My ears perk right up.
Why?
Because it's easier to recognize that critic in others before we hear it in ourselves.
So here's another funny idea.
Make a critic pack.
Make a pack with somebody close to you,
Like a friend or a family member,
And ask them to gently point out buzzwords that they hear when you say them.
Like,
I should,
I never,
Or I always.
When they hear those words coming out of your mouth,
Have them gently point them out to you and then you can do the same for them.
So when you catch the buzzwords,
I want to use something like the friend test.
Try and redo those words using a softer voice,
The way you would talk to a friend or a family member.
You wouldn't say,
Oh,
You're so lazy to somebody that you love.
You would rather say something like,
Oh,
You have a lot on your plate.
Here's some other examples.
The critic would say,
You always mess things up.
But the friend would say,
I'm still learning and mistakes mean I'm growing.
Your inner critic might say,
You'll never change.
But your friend would say,
Change takes time.
I've already started.
Now,
I'd like you to think about one thing your inner critic has said to you lately.
And how would you reframe that if you were talking to maybe your daughter,
Your son,
Or your best friend?
And I will say,
This takes practice.
This trick is like a muscle.
And the more you use it,
The stronger it will get and the easier it will get.
So to recap,
Listen for those buzzwords.
And when the critic shows up in your head,
Or when you hear it with somebody else's voice,
Name it,
Reframe it,
And then remind yourself it doesn't get to have the final word.
Thanks for spending time with me today.
If this talk gave you a spark,
I'd love for you to check out the other short episodes in the series.
They're all designed to give you practical,
Doable ways to get unstuck and keep moving forward one small step at a time.
See you next time.
