Hey there!
Thanks for joining me in our Clarity Chat today.
I recently had a situation where I had a discussion with my daughter and we walked away from that conversation and I thought,
Wait,
What just happened?
It was like we were speaking different languages.
It felt like a real-life game of telephone.
Do you remember that when you were in kindergarten?
A teacher would line everybody up and whisper a story in the beginning of the line and each person would whisper it to the person next to them.
By the time it got to the end of the line,
Boy,
That story was totally something different.
That's how our family everyday conversations were starting to feel.
How is it that talking to some people in conversation feels effortless and then with others it is like pulling teeth.
So I wanted to figure this out.
I wanted to figure out what the disconnect was and that led me to learn something about representational systems.
The idea that we all process and communicate through our senses in unique ways.
Our senses are the doorway to our perception.
How we take it in,
How we interpret it,
Respond to the world around us,
All of this is through five senses.
Our ears,
Eyes,
Nose,
Taste,
And smell.
But when it comes to learning and communicating,
Most of us lean towards one or more representational systems.
One method is not better than the other and in fact depending on the situation you may change systems or do a little bit of all of the systems.
So here's where it gets fun.
These styles don't just affect how we learn but also how we talk.
So let me tell you about the types.
Some people are visual.
They like to see it.
They see in pictures in their mind.
They love visuals,
Diagrams,
Colors,
Neatly organized spaces.
And they may say things like,
I see what you mean.
I'm trying to picture it or that's as clear as mud.
Others are auditory.
They like to hear it.
They remember what's said.
They pick up on tone and they need conversation to really understand something.
This person may say things like,
I hear you loud and clear.
You are speaking my language.
Or she is as quiet as a mouse.
Then we have kinesthetic learners.
They feel their way through things.
They learn by movement,
Doing,
Or physical experience.
They may say things like,
He rubs me the wrong way.
This is a sticky situation.
I feel it in my bones.
Or something like,
I'm gonna tackle this head-on.
And finally,
This is my type,
The audio digital,
Auditory digital.
That's the logical processor.
They make sense of things through reasoning and internal conversation.
And I will tell you,
My husband and daughter probably think I make sense of it in external ongoing conversation.
And I would say things like,
Give me a minute to think about it.
I understand what you're saying.
Help me make sense of this.
That is simply not logical.
I have said that a number of times.
When we converse within our own system,
The information we take in just slides comfortably right into our brain,
Instead of having to change it around or translate it to be more easily understood.
On the flip side,
You could have people trying to connect with you who seem to be speaking a totally different language.
And you may be trying to make the same point,
But their system is different than yours.
Maybe you've had one of those moments at home or even at work,
Where somebody is clearly having two different conversations,
Even though you are saying the same words.
So if that happens,
You're seeing this in action.
That was my daughter and I.
We would have a conversation,
Be in the same room,
But leave with two different understandings.
I would leave thinking I clearly explained my point of view in clear detail.
But she would think,
Oh my gosh,
She talks too much,
Way too many words.
When I discovered this about the system,
Suddenly those lost in translation moments that I was having with my daughter made more sense.
We weren't disagreeing.
We were,
In essence,
Speaking different languages.
As I learned more about this,
I started to notice her phrases,
The words that she was saying.
And then I changed up my approach with her.
I began using less words and following up with details in a text,
So she could read it if she needed it.
And suddenly it felt like our conversations were a little bit easier and less intense.
So here is my challenge to you.
Pay attention to the language that people are using.
Notice if they're saying words like see,
Hear,
Feel,
Or think.
And then try to speak back to them in that same style.
And this is also very helpful if you're meeting new people.
It's like switching to a radio station that they're already tuned into.
Because understanding someone isn't about saying more.
It's about saying it in a way that they can receive it.
So you'll be surprised how much smoother conversations may become when you are meeting people in their own language,
Not just yours.
I hope that this has been helpful for you.
I love learning this kind of stuff about myself and how I can interact with other people in an easier,
More fun way.
And so hopefully you have learned a little something about yourself and representational systems.
Check back on my profile.
I'm going to have a few more of these clarity chats coming up.
And I appreciate your time and I hope you have a great rest of your day.
