Is this the key to happiness?
I'm gonna let you decide after you've listened and put into practice what I'm about to share with you.
We're often asked how we are,
Or how we're feeling,
Or if we're happy.
Or we think to ourselves,
I'd be happier if such and such happened,
Or if only this happened,
I could finally be happy.
It's the grass is always greener syndrome.
But we don't necessarily consider what happiness itself looks like.
We'll place importance on situations,
Things,
Places,
Or people even.
We can spend our lives in pursuit of happiness,
But what is it?
It can never be things,
Places,
Or people.
They can contribute for sure,
But the truth is happiness is likely to mean something different to each and every one of us.
To me it's simply being content with what I have in any given moment.
Being okay with that moment.
Having enough and not experiencing a desire for something else.
For you it could be something different,
But what we can probably agree on is that we can only be happy when there's an absence of stress,
Anxiety,
Worry,
Or fear.
All those other negative states.
So surely it would make sense to remove those things that cause suffering.
To make space for happiness to just exist and flourish without chasing it directly.
Allowing it to come to us.
This could be the key to happiness.
Assuming you're comfortable.
Letting your eyelids close,
If not already.
Your hands resting lightly,
Softly,
Wherever feels right.
Bring your attention to the top of your head and just let the skin across your head,
Your scalp,
Just soften,
Just relax.
And let your attention fall down the front of your head,
Across your brow,
Your forehead.
No creases.
Down through your cheeks,
Softening everything as we go.
Come to your jaw.
The jaw is one of those places that holds tension so often without us even realizing.
You might be breathing just through your nose with your mouth closed,
But you can still have your jaw nice and loose.
And then just coming down through your neck and shoulders.
Make sure there's no tension in your shoulders.
Finally,
Bringing some real focus to your hands and your feet.
Making sure they're soft.
No clenched fists,
No curled toes.
And then just come to your breath.
Just watching the natural rhythm of your breath.
When we feel stressed or anxious,
This usually goes hand in hand with inward thinking.
In other words,
The volume of our inner monologue is louder than everything else around us.
It's like walking around wearing the best headphones,
But instead of listening to your favorite music,
You're listening to yourself.
Talking to yourself about all of the things you've done wrong or the bad things that are going to happen.
If we could just take those headphones off,
The noise would stop.
We'd feel calmer,
More peaceful.
So what's the trick to doing this?
How do we stop that inner monologue or at least turn the volume down so it no longer dominates?
If we agree that these negative thought patterns are most prominent when we give them our attention,
Then the key to peace,
Calm and happiness is surely to consciously turn our attention to something else.
When we're engaging with the inner monologue,
We're disconnected from the world around us.
So the key to happiness is connection.
Disconnecting from the internal narrative and connecting to everything else outside of our inner world.
Derren Brown puts it nicely in his book Happy.
Out there and in here are two very different kingdoms.
So I'm going to share with you how you can be more out there and connected to everything around you,
Which will hopefully bring feelings of peace,
Calm and happiness and turn down the volume of that inner monologue.
So just come back to your breath for a moment.
As I go through the following suggestions of things we can connect with,
I'll pause and give you some silence,
Some space to think of how they relate to you and your surroundings.
One of the most beneficial ways of connecting to the world is through nature.
So let's start by thinking about what nature you have around your home,
Outside,
Inside,
Even if it's just some indoor potted plants.
Taking some time to look at them,
Examining their structure,
The vibrant colors.
This can immediately help you turn down the noise and you don't have to do this now.
I'm just planting the seeds,
Pardon the pun,
For when you go about your day.
What nature can you connect to?
Looking,
Examining,
Touching,
Smelling even,
Plants,
Trees,
Flowers,
Grass.
Take a moment to consider the nature you can connect to.
As you go about your day,
How often are you aware of being connected to the ground beneath your feet?
Bringing your focus to that feeling of being supported,
Being held by that surface below you,
Feeling connected and grounded.
Whatever position you're in right now,
Let your attention rest on that feeling of connection with the surface below you.
Okay,
Here's another one.
Being connected to friends.
When was the last time you picked up your phone,
Scrolled through your contacts and sent a message to someone you haven't spoken to for a long time?
You may never have done it,
But I highly recommend connecting with old acquaintances,
With no judgment and more importantly no expectation of a reply.
Just sending a message to tell them you're thinking of them and wishing them well.
Again,
No need to do this now,
But one to bank for later.
Do you know the artist K Tempest?
He has an incredible spoken word track called People's Faces.
With the lyric,
There is so much peace to be found in people's faces.
This really resonates with me.
We spend so much time going to and from work or whenever we're out and about caught up in our own world and not acknowledging the people around us,
Looking at their faces,
Not staring,
Just seeing that they are going about their business just like us.
They are just like us.
Connecting with that acknowledgement can be really powerful,
Especially if you're feeling alone.
Connecting with others,
That realisation that we are not alone.
Everyone's just finding their way through the world.
Sticking with other people,
Showing someone you're actually listening to them is a great way to be connected.
Eye contact,
Not interrupting,
Paying attention,
Not being distracted by your phone or something else.
Really listening,
Showing with your body language that you're listening.
Try it next time you're having a conversation with someone.
And finally,
Actively listening to music,
Sitting down to really listen instead of it being background.
When was the last time you took an album to physical or even just on a streaming platform?
All the lyrics,
Really listening.
Try it,
Connecting to music.
This is not an exhaustive list but I hope some of it resonates with you and if you put it into practice I'd love to hear how it goes for you.
See you soon,
Take care.
