Welcome to the Shared Story series.
The intention of this series is really to remind us that meditation is not about denying or eliminating our feelings.
Every emotion is part of the human experience,
And no person,
No life,
No matter how zen or wonderful,
Is immune or exempt from this feeling experience.
Meditation is about acknowledging and honoring emotions in order to create space to observe them from a place of acceptance and peace.
And I created this series because I,
Being human,
Have these emotions,
And I thought how amazing to be able to connect with each of you in the sharing of this space.
A reminder that wherever we are,
Whatever our heart is feeling,
We are not alone.
And so this is the Shared Story of longing.
And taking nice,
Easy,
Deep breaths.
Allowing your body to settle.
Encouraging the mind to soften and quiet.
Knowing that through the magic of technology and shared energy,
We sit here together.
Breathing easily.
Coming fully present into this moment.
To sit with and honor the emotion of longing.
And in this moment,
Longing is real for me.
The ache is deep and the void wide.
And if I am honest,
I can say there is even an anger floating around the edges.
That somehow we are meant to have this thing for which we long.
On some level there is a certainty that it is meant.
And I chafe at this unfulfilled promise of it.
Do you feel that too?
There is the ache of longing and then the shimmer of those other emotions.
And the logic of our mind serves no purpose,
Timing,
Patience,
Rationale.
They mean nothing.
For the truth is deep and we know,
We believe,
We are certain that what we long for is meant to be and is simply agonizingly late.
We feverishly try to figure out how to grasp it,
Manifest it,
Draw it to us,
Create it,
Force it,
Power it,
Will it to us.
And it cannot be done.
You cannot will it,
I cannot will it,
This thing for which we long.
Breathe.
And there is the truth.
This thing for which we long,
Whatever it is for you personally,
Is not here,
Not now.
Only the void.
Only the ache.
And there is that heartbeat of longing echoing through every cell of our bodies.
And even as I listen to that heartbeat,
I hear something else.
Even deeper than that heartbeat.
There is a quiet voice that says,
Shh,
Be still and listen.
That which we desire exists,
It is available to us.
But there is no trick,
No magic,
No spell,
No formula for making it happen.
Only the essence of the breath.
Only the trust that everything,
In every way,
Serves a purpose and serves us well if we allow it.
And there is one thing I have learned about longing that has proven to be true for me.
And it works like this.
Imagine that you are swimming.
And there is a leaf floating on the water in front of you.
And as you reach out to grasp that leaf,
Your motion towards it sends it floating further away from you.
You try again,
Reaching out towards that leaf to grasp it on the surface of the water.
And your motion pushes it away.
That is the nature of grasping.
That is the nature of wanting and longing.
Our intensity,
Our desperation,
Push away the very thing we long to draw near.
And we can stop.
We can stop that longing and pushing,
And we can breathe.
Just breathe.
Remember that it is the essence of the breath that allows what we desire to be available to us.
And here we sit supporting each other.
Already it is easier to breathe into a place of acceptance and allowing,
Knowing that you are here with me,
That we are doing it together,
Knowing that we are not alone in this human experience of longing.
I am here in the thick of it with you,
Feeling it,
Breathing it.
This is real for me too,
This shared story.
There are no easy answers,
And even that leaves me dissatisfied.
What I long for is out of my control.
Perhaps that is true for you too.
That it is not a matter of working harder,
Pushing more,
Being different,
Changing anything.
Nowhere to go,
There is nothing I can do.
Getting this thing that I want is completely out of my control.
And maybe you think there is more you can or should be doing.
And maybe you are weary,
Tired of the effort.
I understand,
I know that feeling too.
So we can only breathe into this space,
Allowing what is without judgment.
And we honor it by feeling it,
By allowing it.
We can hold space of love and togetherness for each other.
We can honor that we are not alone in this longing.
That you and I and every other human being on the planet knows this feeling.
And therein lies the gift.
When we want to reach and grasp and demand,
Determined to have what we ache for,
The wisest part of us knows all this emotion will simply push it away.
And so we breathe.
Fully present.
Finding our breath together in this moment.
And it is okay to recognize that this is a tug of war between letting go and then being consumed.
Letting go and the longing returns.
The longing ricochets back and forth.
The ache eases and then is back.
It is a practice.
Like meditation,
Moment to moment,
An awareness and a commitment to letting go.
Sometimes it is easy and I am so grateful when letting go is easy.
And sometimes the gaping void drops me to my knees.
And I am saved by my breath.
It is a practice.
A conscious effort to connect to the breath and because it is so real and so common,
Yes,
Longing is common.
Here I sit with you.
Just breathing.
Let it be easy.
Just for now.
Can we let it be easy?
Can we let the ache ease just a little bit and breathe a little bit deeper?
And somehow knowing that you and I are in this practice together of letting go of longing and honoring if it shows back up again.
Somehow that makes it better.
And I have found a little bit of peace.
And from this place of tentative peace,
I hold light for you and your ability to let go of longing.
I offer you love and compassion for the challenge that is longing.
It is a natural ebb and flow.
Just for this moment.
Let us flow together with breath.
Sharing this story.
Here,
Now.
Breathe in a moment of peace.
Thank you for breathing with me.
For honoring the practice and the shared story.
Thank you.
Thank you.
