Peace With Uncertainty

In these uncertain times when we may be feeling so very out of control, a gentle guided meditation to remind us that we can make some choices that will soothe our souls and remind us we are not alone.

Transcript

I'm Connie Bowman and this meditation is about finding peace in those times when we perceive a lack of control.

I like to be in control,

I am not going to lie.

I know I can't control anyone else,

But situations that seem to be out of control,

Like this quarantine situation that we find ourselves in,

They're scary.

They're unfamiliar territory and the toll that this can take on our body,

Mind,

And spirit can be very damaging.

Anxiety,

A depression,

Fear,

Is very real.

And as we navigate these uncharted waters,

Our nervous systems are being assaulted.

But we do have a choice.

Victor Frankl has a famous quote.

He said,

Between stimulus and response there is a space.

In that space is our power to choose our response.

In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

I remember when my young daughter was about two or three,

She developed respiratory synesthesia syndrome,

Which is RSV.

You may have heard of it.

It's a virus that similar to COVID-19 hits different people in different ways.

And it's a virus that is very similar to people in different ways and is most destructive to people who have underlying conditions,

Which she did.

She had a congenital heart condition.

And she was hospitalized with RSV.

And I was with her in the hospital spending the night and staying there for,

I don't know,

A week or week and a half.

And during her recovery,

When she was starting to feel better,

I remember one morning the nurse came in and brought a menu and asked Megan what she would like for breakfast.

And the look on her face,

Because she had been cooped up in this hospital on oxygen,

Away from friends and family,

And just,

I'm sure,

Feeling so confined and just that sense of cabin fever that we are all experiencing now,

We can all relate to that.

The look on her face when she was given the choice of pancakes or oatmeal was priceless.

And I was so grateful for that nurse.

And Megan chose pancakes and syrup.

And she added,

Can I have orange juice as well?

And of course,

The nurse said yes.

And when she brought the breakfast tray,

It was just giving her the choice in that scary new situation was just such a beautiful opportunity for her to exercise what control she did have.

So I do ask you,

In this situation,

As we find ourselves globally sharing this sense of isolation and fear of what's to come and every other emotion that we've been traveling through,

What do you have control over?

And we may be in our homes and,

For the most part,

Cooped up.

But what can you choose for yourself this day?

And perhaps you will take some time to make a list.

And another suggestion that I have for you is keep some kind of a schedule for yourself.

You know,

All of us are different.

Some of us really thrive on regular,

Disciplined schedules,

But not all of us.

I remember after Megan passed away when she was six,

I had a hard time with my grief.

I naturally was suffering.

And in those first few days,

Weeks,

Months,

Even,

I had a hard time making decisions for myself.

My mind was not coherent.

I was traveling through some of those early stages of grief.

Dr.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross described in her book on death and dying,

Denial,

Anger,

Depression,

Bargaining.

I had not yet reached the acceptance.

I was far from it at this time.

But one thing that I could do for myself,

That I could choose since bringing back my beloved daughter was out of my control,

I could choose what I wanted to do for myself.

And I was not going to be kind to fix it by ordering other people couldn't fix it.

That may be my me some dopamine hits in those early days when I was lacking in some of those brain chemicals that help us stay happy and calm.

So let's do some meditation together and we can practice finding peace even when things are really wonky as they are now.

So let's all find a comfortable place to lie down,

Cover up,

Make yourself so comfortable or sit up in a chair.

Wherever you are,

Be comfortable.

If you're sitting cross-legged,

Maybe place a pillow beneath your hips so that you can lift your heart.

Even the gesture of lifting the heart,

Extending it forward creates chemical changes in the body.

So let's take advantage of those small things that we can do,

That we can choose to do in these times of stress,

Anxiety,

And discomfort.

As we settle in,

Just swallow in your throat.

Let anything that may be feeling stuck there just travel down.

And then just notice your feet.

Bring your awareness to your hands,

The palms of your hands,

Your fingers.

Let me take a moment to bring a smile to your lips,

Even if it's contrived.

Allowing ourselves to smile changes chemistry.

Again,

It's a choice.

Invite in a soft belly.

Invite in an expansive mind so that you may become aware of small things that you may not have noticed before.

Take notice of sounds in your space.

Notice the sensation of your clothes against your skin.

Feel the temperature of the air.

And as you're ready,

Begin to deepen the breath.

Wait until you're ready.

Make it your choice as to when to begin this deeper inviting of the breath into the body.

Fill up the belly,

The ribs,

The lungs,

And notice how your shoulders draw back.

Let them fall down away from the ears.

Exhale slowly,

Slowly.

So again,

We have this choice to slow down the breath.

Again,

Each breath,

A new opportunity to welcome in what you can control.

Let that breath fill you up.

Gently,

Slowly release the air until you are completely empty of breath.

Again,

These are my suggestions.

You have complete control over your breath.

So if something does not feel good,

Give yourself permission to try something else.

We'll be here for several more rounds of breath,

So find the pace that works for you.

My suggestion,

However,

Is to keep the exhale longer than the inhale.

Just a suggestion.

Always,

Always your choice.

Don't try to feel any more burden just like it did.

In the slow,

Easy,

Deeper way,

Allowing your nervous system to settle.

Bring up some feel-good chemicals as we breathe together.

And imagine in your mind's eye,

If you will,

If you so choose,

You're walking atop a beautiful,

Green,

Verdant hilltop.

The wildflowers are blooming everywhere you look.

And in the distance you see the sea,

Bright blue.

The sun is shining.

The sky a bright blue,

Reflecting the water.

Feeling calm and easeful as you walk along this beautiful hillside.

And as you walk,

Ahead of you is a path that takes you down into a valley.

From atop the hill you can see that the valley is covered in fog.

It's as though a cloud has descended on top of this valley and there is no way to see what is below,

Yet there is a path that leads down into it.

When you decide to take this path,

Making the choice to take the path,

You could turn around,

But no,

You decide to descend down the path as it winds down the hill.

And as you do,

The fog gets thicker and thicker until you cannot even see the feet beneath you,

Much less what is right ahead of you.

The fog is so thick you reach out your hands to make sure you're not running into something that might hurt you.

You can feel your feet still on the ground,

Feel the path cleared beneath you.

You feel the fog,

The coolness of the air,

The water droplets that live in that fog caressing your skin.

And at some point you make the decision that it is more prudent to stop,

To stop and wait for the fog to lift,

Rather than walk forward on this path where you don't have available to you every sense to keep you safe.

You're not sure what's ahead,

You cannot see what is behind,

Or to your right or to your left.

And things feel heavy and a bit frightening,

But choosing again to take a nice deep breath,

You make your way to a place where you can take a seat.

Maybe you sit directly on the ground,

Feeling the coolness of the earth beneath you,

The stability of the earth.

Maybe you find a log to sit on,

In which case you feel the bark beneath you,

The solid tree providing a seat for you in this moment.

And it is here that you will wait out the fog.

What happens when we are sitting in such a situation where we just don't know,

We don't know what is to come?

We cannot predict what is ahead of us.

And it's unsafe to move about in this situation.

So we decide we will sit.

Take another deep breath in,

Fill up completely,

Feel the peace that comes.

Every inhalation relaxes the mind,

And every exhalation relaxes the body.

Take another breath,

Inhaling and exhaling.

The 12-step programs that have become so beloved and have worked so well to help so many people,

So many of us find ourselves traveling through at some point in our life,

Which can be much like this fog we are sitting in.

The very first step is admitting we are powerless,

Allowing our egos to fade into the background when we know there are certain things that we can no longer control.

Affirming our powerlessness,

Finding the humility is a game changer.

So as we sit in this fog,

Let's surrender.

We are here for who knows how long.

Eventually the fog will lift.

We know that.

Even if it's way,

Way down deep inside,

We know this fog will lift.

And take another big breath in.

Exhale it out.

Imagine with your eyes closed you can see just a glimmer of light through your eyelids.

That gives you hope.

Maybe in your imagination you feel a lightness as some of the fog is beginning to burn off.

You stand up and you look down and you can see the feet beneath you.

You look ahead and you can see just in front of you a path beginning to open up as the fog lifts a little bit more.

And take one step at a time,

Gently planting one foot and then the other.

Continuing to breathe your slow rhythmic breaths that become so crucial to you at these times.

Always coming back to the breath as we navigate these difficult times in our lives.

As the fog begins to lift even more,

The sun begins to shine and again a smile comes to your lips.

And ahead of you,

You see a crowd of people.

Men,

Women,

Children.

Perhaps you see your loved ones,

Perhaps beloved animals.

They're all waiting there for you,

Ready to celebrate and you make your way towards them.

And having journeyed through this time,

Take a moment to pause before the celebration.

And I offer you this prayer that comes out of the 12-step program with such wisdom and grace it offers us solace in times like these.

And it goes like this.

God grant me,

God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change,

The courage to change those things that we can,

And the wisdom,

The wisdom to know the difference.

As you're ready,

Begin to deepen the breath and make some small movements with fingers and toes.

And decide if you're ready to come out of this meditation.

And if you want to stay for a while,

That is certainly your choice.

You have done so well,

My friend.

My blessings of peace I leave with you.

Namaste.

Reviews

That was an amazing journey, thank you for being a light worker for the ages of our time!!! You are a blessed soul!!!

Excellent...thank you.

Amazing so helpful thank you!

It was amazing

Thanks for a wonderful message. I’m going through a terrible divorce, so much uncertainty. I feel I’m going mad. Never been so low. But hearing your story gives me hope. As bad as this seems, I know you’ve endured far more. I admire you for being able to move through your pain, and to use it to help others. I’m sending you so much love, peace, and thanks for you reassuring message. Thank You.

Beautiful. And it really lowered my anxiety level! Thank you

Thank you for this soothing and reassuring meditation 🙏

Lovely. Thank you.

Thank you Connie for sharing such a tender time in your life as an example to support acceptance of pausing during challenging times.💞🙏🏻

Very helpful! Thank you!

Wonderful thank you ☺️ I

♥️ Absolutely brilliant. If I could give more than 5 stars, I would. Thank you for sharing your experience and insight with us. 🙏

🌿✨💜✨🌿 Thank you. Xxx

Beautiful. Honest. Heartfelt. Loved it!

Many thanks for a beautiful meditation and for sharing your story. Much love to you in the loss of your daughter- an angel always at your side. 💖🙏

Such a powerful meditation. Thank you and best wishes to you.

Beautiful, thank you 🙏