Loving-Kindness for Ourselves

This is one of the core meditations from the Mindful Self-Compassion program. For more, visit the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion.

Transcript

This meditation is called Loving-Kindness for Ourselves and it's intended for people who have not had any experience with loving-kindness meditation.

And in this exercise we will begin to find loving-kindness phrases and also some loving-kindness phrases will be offered.

So to begin please find a comfortable position,

Either sitting or lying down,

And letting your eyes close partially or fully.

And then taking a few deep breaths,

Deep luscious breaths,

And allow yourself to settle into your body and into this present moment.

As you breathe,

Even with every out-breath,

As you exhale perhaps allowing any unnecessary stress that you might be holding in your body to be released.

Just flow out of your body as you exhale.

And just settling in right here and right now.

And then if you like putting one or two hands over your heart region or any other place that might be comforting or soothing,

Just feeling the gentle touch of your hands,

Maybe the warmth of your hand or one hand on the other.

And doing this as a reminder that we're not just bringing awareness to our experience but loving awareness,

Tender awareness,

To our experience and to ourselves.

And as you do this you can also imagine that some kindness or warmth is flowing through your hand into your body,

If you wish,

Filling your body with something good,

Giving yourself what you need right here and right now.

And then leaving your hands there or allowing them to drop to your lap,

Bringing your awareness inside your body and noticing the sensations in the body right now.

Noticing for example some pulsation or vibration in the body.

Perhaps there's a specific sensation that attracts your attention like a place of tension or perhaps pressure as you sit on your seat or while lying down.

Just giving yourself a lot of space to feel just what you're feeling.

And then in your field of awareness beginning to notice your breathing where you feel it most easily.

And just feeling your body breathe,

Feeling your body breathe in,

Feeling your body breathe out.

And perhaps even noticing the natural soothing rhythm of your breath.

Noticing the natural rising and falling of your breathing.

And if you like letting yourself be gently rocked in this way,

Letting yourself be gently comforted by your own breathing.

And then releasing the breath just for now,

Releasing awareness of the breath.

As we bring our awareness to words,

To language,

Words that may be just what we need to hear in our lives right now.

Filling ourselves the blessing of kind words,

Compassionate words.

Filling our minds just for now with words,

With phrases,

With meanings which are just what we need to hear.

Offering ourselves wishes,

Perhaps,

Perhaps wishes that you would whisper in the ear of somebody whom you truly love.

Say these are wishes for ourselves.

So words,

Phrases such as,

Such as,

May I be safe.

May I be safe.

May I be safe.

May I be peaceful.

May I be peaceful.

May I be peaceful.

May I be healthy.

May I be healthy.

Healthy.

May I live with ease.

May I live with ease.

May I live with ease.

So at some point finding words which speak directly to your heart,

Which are deep and true,

Meaningful,

Natural,

Simple,

Kind.

But for now perhaps working with these phrases,

Allowing the words to,

Allowing the words to roll through your mind and perhaps even land somewhere inside.

Offering these words to yourself,

Whispering these words to ourselves as a gift to ourselves.

May I be safe.

May I be safe.

May I be peaceful.

May I be healthy.

May I live with ease.

May I be safe.

May I be peaceful.

May I be healthy.

May I live with ease.

So letting the words roll through your mind,

Perhaps even savoring,

Savoring the meaning of the words.

If you wish,

Letting them land,

Taking your time.

You can use other words,

Perhaps you're struggling in some way in your life right now and you need a bit of compassion.

Perhaps phrases that address the struggle.

So for example maybe you could use the phrases,

May I be safe if you're feeling unsafe.

Or may I be peaceful if you're feeling unpeaceful.

Maybe adding something like may I be kind to myself,

May I be kind to myself.

Maybe you need that.

Or may I accept myself as I am or may I begin to accept myself as I am.

Words with compassion.

Allowing these words in.

Seeing what it's like for you.

May I be safe.

May I be peaceful.

May I be kind to myself.

May I accept myself as I am.

May I accept myself as I am.

May I be safe.

May I be peaceful.

May I be kind to myself.

May I accept myself as I am.

So feeling the importance of the words,

Feeling the gravity of the words.

Even if you like even allowing the words to fill your being.

If you really need to be safe,

Allowing yourself to receive the wish,

May I be safe.

Or may I be peaceful,

Truly peaceful.

What do you need?

May I be kind to myself.

May I accept myself as I am.

So finding our own language.

Perhaps,

Perhaps working with the two questions.

First question is,

What do I,

What do I really need to hear?

If I were to hear something,

A few words,

A phrase every day for the rest of my life,

What might that be?

What would I love to hear every day for the rest of my life?

So opening to that question.

What do I need to hear?

Perhaps putting that into just a few words and beginning to roll that through your mind.

Giving yourself what you need to hear right now.

Letting the words be in you.

Letting them reverberate through your being.

And perhaps there are,

Perhaps there's something else that you need.

What do you need?

Perhaps the second question.

What do I need?

What do I really need in this life?

What do I really need?

What is that?

What do you really need?

If you were to whisper in your own ear what you really need,

What would you whisper into your own ear?

Now allowing yourself to savor those words.

And now,

Just for now,

Releasing all the words,

Releasing all the phrases,

Releasing the whole practice and just resting for a moment in your own experience.

Just allowing yourself to feel what you're feeling.

And allowing yourself to be for this moment just as you are.

And know that you can return to this exercise asking yourself,

What do I need to hear?

What do I need?

That you can open to these questions,

That you can find language.

And then when you find language,

You can begin to offer yourself what you truly need in words when you need it the most.

And whenever you're ready,

Ever so slowly and gently opening your eyes.

Reviews

Lovely guidance. So good to hear Chris Germer’s voice; mindful self-compassion is so healing for me.

I really appreciated the two questions. What do I need to hear everyday? What do I need now? I also appreciated the spaciousness to explore some of the phrases offered. Thank you for offering this.

Very sweet and gentle. Lovely calm and nurturing voice; what a nice role model for how to talk to myself. Thank you, <3

Wonderful! Absolutely wonderful. Thank you.

Excellent! By far the best guided meditation on self-metta I've heard. Thank you!

Incredible deep choice of words determine the *What*.
Allowing clearness to arise.
*How* you convey your words inspire me.
Thank you so much.

Great practice with a lot of kindness coming from Chris

Great exercise for beginners. I'm actually not a beginner in loving-kindness meditation, but it still gave me food for thought regarding my own meditation phrases.

This is very loving and clear. I feel more connected with myself and more peaceful. Thank you.

What a lovely, kind, spacious and gentle practice... thank you.

Thank you🙏 this has been so helpful and healing 💛

Helpful and gentle

This meditation works for me. Always. It’s truly healing and consoling.

A very important meditation for me. I always come back to this one. Very soothing, warming and healing. Thank You!

Thanks a lot! It was great!

Very good, thank you!

The language part of the meditation was very helpful. Thanks! 🙏

Lovely meditation, like the echoing of the phrases of loving kindness. Love your book too, thank you for your work Chris, and Kristin too! Has been life changing for me.xxx

It is difficult for me to label my feelings without judging them, your meditation helped me. Thank you.

Beautiful guided meditation to start the day. Thank you.