Hi there.
Today I'd like to offer a reading from the Pocket Pema Chodron,
One of my favorite authors.
She's a Buddhist Tibetan nun,
Someone who I have loved and followed and read for a very long time now.
And in this little Pocket Pema Chodron there are a hundred and eight offerings and so I'm going to read the first one today.
I might end up doing all 108.
We'll see what happens.
So the first one is called The Noble Heart and she says,
Bodhicitta is a Sanskrit word that means noble or awakened heart.
It is said to be present in all things,
Just as butter is inherent in milk and oil is inherent in a sesame seed.
This soft spot is inherent in you and me.
It is said that in difficult times it is only bodhicitta that heals.
When inspiration has become hidden,
When we feel ready to give up,
This is the time when healing can be found in the tenderness of pain itself.
This is the time to touch the genuine heart of bodhicitta.
In the midst of loneliness,
In the midst of fear,
In the middle of feeling misunderstood and rejected is the heartbeat of all things,
The genuine heart of sadness.
Just as a jewel that has been buried in the earth for a million years is not discolored or harmed,
In the same way this noble heart is not affected by all of our kicking and screaming.
The jewel can be brought out into the light at any time and it will glow as brilliantly as if nothing had ever happened.
No matter how committed we are to unkindness,
Selfishness or greed,
The genuine heart of bodhicitta cannot be lost.
It is here in all that lives,
Never marred and completely whole.
And that is the end of the reading of the first chapter called The Noble Heart in the Pocket of My Children.
And now just some words about that,
My own review of bodhicitta.
It's a Sanskrit word that translates into the mind of awakening or a thought of enlightenment.
It is born from compassion,
The desire to free all beings from suffering.
Bodhicitta is accompanied by various mental factors including these three things,
A contemplation of the kindness of sentient beings,
Two,
A strong meditation on compassion and three,
Understanding the possibility of attaining true cessation from suffering.
So Buddhist concepts here.
So I have followed Pema Chodron for many many years.
I have read I think most of her books,
Many talks.
She's been a prolific writer and speaker and even as an ordained nun,
She spent her first entire year of daily meditation in just offering kindness and compassion to herself.
And this felt counterintuitive to focus on her own innate goodness and her own strengths rather than on others.
But her teachers assured her that she couldn't pour from an empty cup.
So that was so reassuring for me to realize that even an ordained nun who spends her day in meditation was allowing herself to focus on herself because she knew she needed the compassion and needed to focus on her own basic goodness and strength before she could give to others.
So if she needed to do that,
I think it's okay if I need to do that.
Which I'm then offering that it's okay if you need to do that.
I often work with others who really struggle to find their own basic goodness and strengths and innate worth.
So with them,
As I had to with myself,
We start with noticing what is wonderful or noteworthy about others in their life.
Who do they admire and why?
What qualities do these people possess and offer that feels uplifting or purposeful?
From there maybe we can see how my client and the person they admire aren't really that far apart.
In fact,
How could the client even have the capacity to notice such good qualities if they themselves didn't possess the receptors to take in such things?
They may not express those skills or qualities in the exact same way,
But there is a base level of appreciation for the way another shows up in life.
From there maybe we can tap into ways that each of us show up in life that we appreciate,
Find value in,
And want to keep doing.
Recently I was noticing how impressed I was with my siblings and my sister-in-law.
They all seem to possess such a domestic gene that I seem to lack.
I sat at the kitchen table and I watched them put together simple but delicious meals,
Clean everything,
And put it all away after,
Leaving a nice space to sit and talk in.
I noticed my sister running to the hardware store to buy a new toilet seat,
Watching a video on how to put it together,
And then she installs it.
These things seem so simple for some people.
I am in awe.
I began to feel less than and wondered if I'd ever grow up and be adult like them.
Later that day my siblings expressed gratitude for me for just sitting at that kitchen table and truly listening to each person's story and fears and concerns and allowing each one of them to process a difficult moment and then return to the table as needed,
Always welcomed.
My being so aware of my own appreciation of them allowed this space in my heart to take in their appreciation of me.
We all bring different gifts to the table.
Also I could learn to organize a kitchen and fix a toilet if I truly wanted to,
And they certainly are learning how to feel their feelings,
Calm their nervous system,
And keep the golden thread of love alive between two people,
Even if one needs a break to recalibrate.
The basic goodness is there.
The compassion for self and others is available,
And when just one person in the room can feel that for themselves,
Many around them can also feel it.
When I slow down and can sense my own basic goodness,
Others can feel that permission to also accept themselves.
As one of my favorite people and teachers always says,
When I see me,
You see you.
When you see you,
I see me.
Now if you'd care to do a brief meditation around this topic,
Please go ahead and go to part two and continue with me.
If not,
I thank you for taking these few minutes to connect with an aspect of your own awakened heart.
It matters.
You matter.
