Here it is.
Intentions for the Difficult Moments You Didn't See Coming.
There are two kinds of difficult moments.
Those we see coming and those we don't.
Both often involve other people.
Our goal for facing these moments is to add a moment between our perception of what's happening and our reaction to it,
So we can observe and choose what we will do.
Setting intentions can help.
Unexpected difficult moments stress us in two ways.
What's happening and the surprise of it.
Our perception of those moments often creates a stress response and an automatic and typically unintentional reaction.
If our lives or safety are being threatened,
These reactions may actually save us,
And we're thankful.
But the body can react to all manner of perceived threats as if our life depended on that reaction,
Even when it doesn't.
The irony is that by constantly preparing for threats,
The body can make itself sick over time.
While fight,
Flight,
Or freeze reactions can save us from physical threats,
Unnecessary and unmanaged,
They can make difficult situations worse.
Our goal for these moments is to train our mind to add a moment between perception and reaction to see the unexpected difficult moment for what it really is and respond with intention.
First,
Realizing that an effective intention that can give us that moment when we need it is to practice when we don't need it.
Daily meditation improves our ability to catch stress-inducing perceptions before they set off the body's alarm system.
Daily intention setting can help us call up our intention setting skill on short notice when we need it the most.
The arising of the unexpected difficult moment.
And when that moment surprises you,
And assuming it's not a threat to your life or safety,
Allowing your intention setting skill to arise with these four steps.
1.
Take a breath.
Saying to yourself,
Or aloud,
I am surprised and want to understand what's happening here.
This helps you bring attention to what's happening in this space,
In this moment.
2.
Take another breath.
Recognizing and acknowledging the physical sensations of stress in the body.
Accepting them as the body's stress reaction,
Even as your mind is working to remain calm.
3.
Recognizing and trying to suspend assumptions about what is happening and why,
And listening for what is really happening.
Connecting with whoever and whatever is present as much as you can.
4.
Take another breath.
From this position of perspective,
Consider your options for how you will respond.
Choose and make a response that is appropriate to what is really happening.
Repeat as necessary.
