Thanks for joining me in this practice of keeping our grief warm.
Come into a posture where your body can feel safe enough.
To turn towards and tend our grief is a vulnerable process and requires that we feel safe enough in this moment.
And choose a sensation anchor that you can use as a home base,
Returning to these felt sensations if you need to pace yourself with noticing your grief.
You can become aware of the sensations of your in-breath and your out-breath,
Or become aware of the ambient sound in your space.
Perhaps your anchor is felt through touch,
Warm hands on your thighs,
Or the sense of your back being supported.
We'll focus on our sensation anchors for a bit to help slow and settle our mind and body.
When your mind wanders,
Gently bring your attention back to the sensations of the anchor of your attention.
Now,
Listen inside yourself and invite a held grief to be seen.
This could be a recent grief or one that you have held deep inside for many years.
Notice this grief and name it in a clear and simple way.
I miss my partner or parent,
Or I feel the emptiness of my pet that died,
Or I mourn the loss of my health,
Or I feel the heavy weight of grief for what is happening in our world.
Whatever grief wants to arise,
See it and name it.
Next,
Notice where in your body you feel this grief.
Is it sitting in your chest or heart area?
Your belly,
Or wrapped around your throat?
Be curious and see if you can describe the sensations of your grief.
Achy,
Hot,
Prickly,
Empty,
Heavy.
Stay with the sensations if you can with an attitude of curiosity and kindness.
Keeping your mind out of the storyline of what happened.
For some of you,
This may be enough practice turning towards your grief for right now.
Grief carries many overlays that can get very complicated.
If you begin to feel overwhelmed with your grief,
Return to your sensation anchor,
Or even open your eyes and orient with your current environment.
Give yourself a moment to step away.
This process is called titration,
Just doing something a little bit at a time.
When we contend our grief by turning towards it a bit at a time on a regular basis,
This practice keeps our grief close to us,
Keeps it warm,
Allows it to be seen,
And over time to be integrated,
To transform us in the process.
If you choose to continue to stay with the sensations of this grief,
Notice what begins to happen to these sensations as you hold them in your kind awareness.
You may notice the sensations staying just the same,
Or they may change,
Spreading out,
Getting diffuse,
Getting smaller or more consolidated.
Just watch with curiosity at how your body is metabolizing this grief.
Remember,
We're not trying to make the grief go away.
It won't.
Keeping your grief warm deepens your relationship with yourself.
It grows your self-compassion over time and opens your heart to the suffering of others who also have so many griefs.
When we have a habit of dismissing or quieting our grief,
This can send it deep into our bodies where it is not metabolized or integrated.
For the last part of our practice,
Ask your body what it needs to be able to hold this grief a bit more comfortably.
Just notice what arises from your body as opposed to thinking about what would be helpful.
Perhaps you want to place your hand over your heart,
Or you may get an image of yourself dancing with some music or releasing some tears.
Listen to your body's wisdom and trust in your process.
This ongoing,
Slow warming of grief kept close by and noticed again and again in small bits.
Know that by holding your grief so tenderly,
You also open yourself to immense beauty and wonder.
This is how the heart makes a duet of wonder and grief.
The light spraying through the lace of the fern in the middle of the night is as delicate as the fibers of memory forming their web around the knot in my throat.
The breeze makes the birds move from branch to branch as this ache makes me look for those I've lost in the next room,
In the next song,
In the laugh of the next stranger.
In the very center under it all,
What we have that no one can take away and all that we've lost face each other.
It is there that I'm adrift,
Feeling punctured by a holiness that exists inside everything.
I am so sad and everything is beautiful.
Soak in the beauty of these words and thank you so much for practicing with me today.
