Welcome to today's meditation.
We all face moments that feel heavy,
Times when stress,
Sadness or frustration seem to take up too much space in our lives.
This self-compassion practice is here to help hold those moments with kindness and care.
It's called the 3 Step Self-Compassion Break and it's been designed by Dr.
Kristen Knepp,
A compassion researcher and teacher.
It's one of my favourite ways to find a sense of calm and comfort when life feels overwhelming.
You can use this practice anytime you're facing a difficult moment,
Whether you're feeling overwhelmed,
Frustrated or just in need of some extra care.
In the future,
If you're feeling down and if you have the time,
You're always welcome to return to this meditation,
But the beauty of this practice is that it's something you can also do in your mind,
Wherever you are,
Whenever you need it.
I often use it myself when I'm feeling stressed,
When I've made a mistake or screwed up or if I'm just feeling a little unsettled or uncertain.
What I'll do is I'll gently go through the steps in my head.
There are three stages,
Three steps to this meditation.
First,
We'll acknowledge the suffering we're experiencing.
Second,
We'll remind ourselves of our shared humanity,
Reminding ourselves that we're never alone in our struggles.
And third,
We'll offer kindness and compassion to ourselves,
Just like we might do to a dear friend.
There's no need to remember the steps right now,
I'll guide you through the entire process and we'll recap at the end.
Okay,
Let's begin.
I invite you to find a comfortable position,
One that feels just right for you.
Perhaps seated in a chair,
Lying down or wherever you feel most supported.
There's no perfect way to do this,
It's simply about creating a space that feels comfortable and safe for you in this moment.
If it feels good,
We can close the eyes,
But we're also welcome to keep the eyes open if that feels better.
If we do have the eyes open,
Just having a soft,
Unfocused gaze in front of us.
And if we are closing the eyes,
Knowing that it's always okay to open them again,
If at any point we feel uncomfortable.
Let's take a moment to notice our body resting here.
Feeling the points of contact with the surface beneath us.
The weight of our body being gently supported.
Perhaps noticing the steady presence of the earth below,
Holding us with a quiet strength.
And now,
Let's bring our awareness to the breath.
Without changing anything,
We're simply noticing.
Noticing the cool air as it enters the nostrils,
The chest,
The ribs,
The stomach expanding on the in-breath.
And then the warm air as it leaves the nostrils,
The body softening and relaxing on the out-breath.
Breathing in,
The body expands.
Breathing out,
The body softens and settles.
Let's take a few more breaths here,
Allowing ourselves to arrive fully into this moment.
If the mind begins to wander,
Knowing that this is completely natural,
Whenever it does drift off,
Simply noticing and then gently returning our focus to the breath.
Back to that next inhale.
Back to that next exhale.
And now,
I invite you to gently bring to mind the situation that feels challenging for you.
It might be something that's happening right now,
Or perhaps something from earlier in the day or week that's still lingering.
Maybe it's nothing specific,
Perhaps we're just feeling sad or lonely or uneasy and we need some gentle support and kindness.
Whatever arises is okay.
As you bring this to mind,
Let's notice how it feels in the body.
Perhaps we might sense a tightness in the chest,
A heaviness in the stomach or a different sensation entirely.
There's no right or wrong here,
Just noticing.
Now,
The first step of this practice is to acknowledge that this is a moment of suffering.
You might gently say to yourself,
In your mind,
This is a moment of suffering.
Or if these words don't feel quite right,
You might choose others,
Such as,
This is painful,
This hurts,
This is stress,
This is hard.
These words are a way of naming what's here,
Of gently recognizing the difficulty without trying to push it away.
This is a moment of suffering.
Now,
Let's take a few slow breaths and let that acknowledgement settle in.
Okay,
Good.
When we're ready,
Let's move on to the second step.
This step is about acknowledging we're not alone in our struggles.
Even though we can feel alone,
Especially when times are tough,
This step is a way of reminding ourselves that we're not alone in this.
Everyone struggles,
And difficulties are part of our shared human experience,
And because of that,
We're all deeply connected.
So,
We might say,
Gently and silently,
In our minds,
Suffering is a part of life.
Or perhaps another phrase resonates more deeply,
Like,
I'm not alone.
Everyone feels this way at times,
We all face challenges,
Being human means having struggles.
Whatever phrase you choose,
Allow these words to remind you that pain,
Sadness,
And stress is a part of being human.
They connect us to others,
To the shared thread of our humanity.
Know that you're not alone in this moment.
If it feels good,
We might choose to place one hand or both hands gently over our heart or in the center of our chest.
Noticing the warmth of our hands against the body.
This simple gesture can help the body release oxytocin,
A natural hormone that promotes calm,
Safety,
And a sense of trust.
Let's take a moment here to breathe.
Perhaps noticing the sensations in the chest or the rhythm of our heart beneath our hands.
If it feels right,
Staying curious about the sensations.
Perhaps noticing how these sensations shift or change from moment to moment.
Okay,
Good.
And now,
Let's move to the third step.
We're going to be directing kindness towards ourselves.
This is a chance to turn toward ourselves with care,
As we would a friend who's hurting or struggling.
We might say,
Gently and silently,
In our minds,
May I be kind to myself.
Or maybe there's another phrase that feels more fitting for your situation.
You might try,
May I give myself the compassion I need?
Or,
May I learn to accept myself as I am?
May I forgive myself?
May I be strong?
Take some time to find the words that speak to you in this moment.
Let these phrases settle gently into the heart,
Offering yourself the care and tenderness you deserve.
May I be kind to myself.
Okay,
Let's take a few breaths here.
Allowing the kindness to settle.
And as we bring this practice to a close,
Let's take a moment to reflect.
How are we feeling in this moment?
Perhaps there's a sense of lightness or calm.
Or perhaps things still feel difficult and that's okay too.
However you're feeling is completely okay.
And now,
Gently bringing our awareness back to the body sitting or lying here.
Noticing the support of the surface beneath us.
Bringing awareness to sounds.
Sounds inside the room.
Sounds outside the room.
Gently wiggling our fingers and toes.
And if the eyes are closed,
Perhaps letting a little light filter through the eyelids as we gently crack them open.
Before we end,
I invite you to consider one small way you might care for yourself today.
It could be something simple like taking a quiet moment for a cup of tea,
Or stepping outside for some fresh air,
Calling up a loved one,
Cuddling a pet,
Or maybe simply offering yourself a kind word when things feel tough.
Whatever it is,
Let it be something that feels gentle and nourishing for you.
Take a moment to congratulate and appreciate yourself.
For showing up today,
For taking time to tend to your well-being.
This self-compassion practice is something you can return to anytime you need.
You don't need to do it perfectly,
Just remembering these three steps.
One,
Acknowledge that this is a moment of suffering.
Two,
Remind yourself that you're not alone.
Three,
Offer yourself some kindness and care.
Thank you for being here with me today,
And I hope this practice brings you some comfort and peace.
Take care of yourself,
And I look forward to seeing you again soon.
