Two Wolves: Comfort In Discomfort

This meditation is based off of a Native American story and utilizes the story as a metaphor for our typical ways of dealing with our discomfort. It allows us to ask ourselves at any moment: am I feed into anxiety & stress, or into peace & clarity?

Transcript

Find a comfortable seated position and settle your body into the seat.

You can move around a little bit,

Allow gravity to kind of settle you into a natural posture.

You can relax the muscles of the face,

You can close the eyes,

Soften the muscles around the eyes,

Relax the shoulders,

Relax the neck.

Notice if anything is tight,

If you're flexing anything,

If anything is rigid,

You can just send an awareness to that and relax it.

And come into an awareness of yourself sitting here right now.

You're not doing whatever it is you're going to be doing in 10 to 15 minutes from now.

And you're not doing what you were doing before this meditation.

You're only here.

Life is available only in the present moment.

So just be here.

This meditation will address our relationship with discomfort.

And how meditation and mindfulness practice is a way of shifting our perspective on that relationship,

Seeing it maybe a bit differently.

In the Native American tradition,

There's an old story about a good wolf and an evil wolf.

It goes as follows.

An old Cherokee told his grandson,

My son,

There's a battle between two wolves inside us all.

One is evil.

It is anger,

Jealousy,

Greed,

Resentment,

Inferiority,

Lies and ego.

The other is good.

It is joy,

Peace,

Love,

Hope,

Humility,

Kindness and truth.

The boy thought about it and he asked his grandfather,

Grandfather,

Which wolf wins?

And the old man quietly replied,

The one you feed.

And so keep this story in mind as we progress through this meditation.

And you can again center yourself as you sit here,

Feel the sensations of the breath coming in and going out.

This is your bridge to the present moment.

You can use the breath because it's there at all times,

As is the body.

So feel the sensations of the breath coming in and going out.

And think about the evil wolf and the good wolf.

The one that wins is the one that you feed.

It's helpful to check in from time to time and say,

Which wolf am I feeding?

Am I feeding into the one that leads to anxiety and stress and anger?

Or am I feeding into the one that leads to peace and clarity and strength?

What am I feeding into with my behaviors?

And you can check in and say right now,

Which wolf am I feeding?

So imagine yourself as a child.

Imagine yourself in the bedroom that you grew up in.

And imagine being afraid of the monster in the closet.

So visualize this little kid version of you.

And think of this monster in the closet as the evil wolf.

Imagine him as a huge,

Hungry wolf with red eyes and big fangs just waiting behind that door.

Meditation practice is developing an ability to steadily open up that door bit by bit so you can actually see what's really in there.

And instead of responding habitually by just blocking that thing away,

Distracting yourself with something else immediately,

Whether that might be food or TV or your cell phone,

Or ruminating on it,

Focusing on it,

Being consumed by it,

Building up the evil wolf so big that you would never even think to approach it.

So instead of responding in these habitual ways,

These strategies that you've had since you were a little kid,

Just take some space with awareness and step back from it.

See it clearly and choose how you want to respond.

Choose which wolf you want to feed.

So imagine yourself,

You've pulled it open bit by bit and you finally open the door all the way.

And when you look inside and you turn the light on,

What you find in there is a little,

Helpless,

Puppy wolf.

What you just habitually assumed was this big,

Bad,

Evil wolf turned out to be just a little puppy,

A little helpless puppy wolf.

You've been developing your habits since you were a baby.

And what was once useful for you?

It was a useful way for you to deal with discomfort.

It has become maladaptive for you as an adult.

And in some way,

Shape,

Or form,

Whatever it is for you,

You're still scared of that evil wolf in the closet,

Whatever that may be.

And so think of mindfulness as training this puppy.

And you can imagine it as you.

Training the puppy to become a strong,

Immature,

Good wolf.

Use this practice to change the way that you deal with discomfort.

And train the good wolf again and again.

Develop your ability to be comfortable with discomfort.

Or whatever it was that you told yourself was uncomfortable again and again.

And in doing this,

You have ultimate freedom and flexibility to do what you want to do.

And not be controlled by your habitual ways of being.

And so in this practice,

You can again and again come back to the present moment and check in and say,

Which wolf am I feeding right now?

And you might find that the answer is pretty clear.

But we've developed great and powerful ways of distracting ourselves from it.

And so again,

Use the sensations of the breath as a bridge to the present moment and feel them right now.

So again,

Feel the breath coming in and going out.

In your mind,

You can say,

Breathing in and breathing out.

And you can always use this tool to check in and say,

Which wolf am I feeding right now?

And use it whenever and wherever you are.

So as you build this skill to be present and be aware,

You can know which wolf you're feeding.

And you can open your eyes and you can move around in your seat.

Get ready to engage with the rest of the day and maybe throughout today,

Check in again and again.

And notice if your behaviors are in line with how it is that you want to be.

Reviews

One of my favorite stories. Thank you for putting this on Insight. Such a positive reflection.

I really loved the message and meditation but the constant mic popping was kind of jarring and kept taking me out of the moment.

A great story to remember when I am in my anxiety, worry…which wolf am I feeding?

I love this Native American legend. I've heard it before and it's so simple to understand, but so profound. I wish that we can all work harder to feed the good wolf 🐺

This was really helpful today, sitting on the tube/subway 🚇
Thank you Charles 😊

Thank you, Charles.
True things do not get old. They are always true,

This is phenomenal. Thank you for sharing your Indigenous story. What a gift. What a treasure.

A good reminder that each step and each thought in the present moment creates the conditions for the next moment.

Love that story, always, and in all ways. Love the way you use it here❣️

I love this! Something so simple to reflect on today. Thank you🙏

I loved this. Very powerful food for thought during a pause of potentially destructive behavior. Thank you.

This is a great meditation with a contemplative antidote that will stick with you throughout your day. Which 🐺 am I feeding now. I especially recommend this if you struggle with reactivity or are trying to change patterns that don’t serve you. Thank you, Charles!

I’ve always loved this story and I think your take on it is wonderful. Thank you!! 💛✌️❤️

Really nice. Pace, gentleness of his voice. Centering.

I found this meditation very helpful. Thank you for sharing

Powerful & so simplistic to put into action in the moment. Thank you 🙏🏼🩵✨

Thank you for this inspiring story and meditation ! ☀️❤️

Great! The wolf story was very helpful…I’m sure I will take this practice with me as it’s a helpful way to reconsider my thinking. Namaste

I absolutely love this meditation. The analogy of the wolf just being a puppy and training the wolf each day to become a good, strong wolf is so relatable. You have a wonderful story telling & relaxing voice. Thank you so much 😊🙏🏽✨💜

Love that story! That one will stick with me. Thank you