Allowing Now To Be Enough

Do you sometimes judge yourself about the area of your life that's still very much a work in progress? I'm all for having dreams and goals and believing that we can do anything. But how about a little less pressure? In this audio, I'll help you shift your perspective so that you can balance the motivation to uplevel your life, with patience, self-compassion, and appreciation for all that is right now. The talk rounds out with a few journal prompts, so get your notebook!

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Transcript

Hello there,

Thank you for pressing play.

I'm Rachel Ebanks-Gold and today I want to address something that I think can get us a little bit caught up,

A bit tangled up,

And that is the pursuit of having it all.

So the desire to have a perfect life,

So the money,

The job,

The business,

The family,

The body,

The social life,

The home,

The relationship,

The adventures,

Etc,

Etc,

Is perfectly natural.

You know,

We want to live our best lives,

We want to be enjoying the best that life has to offer and,

You know,

They say you only live once,

Who knows if that's true,

But as far as,

You know,

The body that we're in,

We want to have the biggest experience,

The best experience that we possibly can and that is perfectly natural.

However,

This desire,

This intention or this goal can put a great deal of pressure on us if we don't manage it carefully.

Now,

I'm a big believer in manifestation and being our best selves and I do believe that we should and that we can expand in all areas because we are limitless and life is for living,

Life is abundance,

So why wouldn't we want to experience the best of life?

But we also have to remember that we are living in the physical world with lots of other people and lots of other things going on and we can't manipulate every tiny detail to get every area in our lives perfect all at once.

The truth is that life is made up of seasons and at any given point some things are going fantastically well and other things are not.

That is just the nature of it.

There's always something that's not quite there yet,

These unmanifested desires,

And the question is can we let them be as they are?

Gestating without making it a problem.

Can we desire the things that we desire without making the current absence of those things a terrible thing?

So let's say you have a decent job,

A healthy body,

A few close friends,

By the way if you've got two or all of those you're doing pretty effing well can I just say.

But let's say you've got these things but you are single and maybe you've been single for a while and you just so desperately want to find your soulmate,

You want to experience intimacy,

Closeness,

And a deep feeling of romantic love,

But it's not here yet.

In this situation you could spend a lot of time wallowing in the fact that you don't have this.

Maybe you're trying to force things to happen,

Forcing yourself to do things that actually don't really feel that good.

You could waste a lot of energy feeling like there's something wrong with you or you're not doing things right because that person isn't here yet.

So that's one way of being,

One way of responding to life.

Or you could allow yourself to desire a mate.

You could enjoy imagining what it might feel like to be in this relationship,

To meet this person.

You could keep the faith that it is coming,

This person,

This special experience of love that you have desired for so long is coming.

So you could do this while also continuously letting go,

Continuously helping yourself come back into the present and being with the gems,

The diamonds,

The crystals of your present reality.

If you want to feel like you're living your best life,

Release the pressure.

Release the pressure.

Practice pure presence.

Because in my experience,

When I allow myself to release judgment about all the things that are not great and when I allow myself to be present,

I notice that the simplest stuff is the jazziest stuff,

Is the most luxurious,

Is the most delicious,

Is the most amazing.

Like the feeling of entering the quiet space of my home after a day out,

My private space to shelter from the wind and the rain and the eyes of others,

The soft coziness of my bed with my fluffy blankets and my cats,

Just the simple joy of walking around a supermarket,

Nothing glamorous in that apparently,

But for me it's a joy,

Taking in the bright colors and deciding whatever it is that I want to pick up and take home with me,

The pleasure of making food,

Creating in my kitchen,

The feeling of being in my body as I do yoga or just walk around outside in the morning.

These things are available to most of us,

But we overlook them because the other stuff isn't sorted yet.

So think about it,

What are some of the delicious and simple things in your day-to-day that you can start to allow yourself to fully take in,

Knowing that this is actually,

This moment is your life.

In the pursuit of living our best life,

We forget that what we truly want is to feel good,

So the ultimate goal is not to have everything perfectly lined up so that then we can feel good,

The ultimate goal is to feel good,

And we can learn how to let ourselves feel good now,

Regardless of who we are,

Right now we can allow ourselves to let in feelings of okayness,

Feelings of okayness,

Feelings of safety,

Feelings of being blessed by the simplest thing like you are alive and the roof above you is solid and it's,

You know,

Held in place.

We can allow ourselves to hold what is here,

So the gems,

The diamonds,

The greatness,

And also the things that are a little bit rusty,

And let it all be okay.

When we do that,

When we let what is here now be okay,

The good stuff,

The nice stuff,

The happy stuff,

And also the things that are a little bit broken,

When we do that it's so much easier to notice more of the good things.

Notice the smile that that friendly cashier gave you,

Or how fun it is to just be laughing your head off with your best friend,

Dancing to your favorite song,

Whatever it is that you notice.

Who cares if your kitchen is ugly?

Who cares if you haven't lost all the weight,

Or you don't love your job,

Or your social life is non-existent?

Of course,

You deserve up levels in all areas.

Of course,

Goals are good to have,

But not at the expense of our happiness.

We look outside and,

You know,

On social media and stuff,

And that doesn't help.

It does create this false narrative that that we must get all these things in line,

And that if so-and-so has it and you don't,

Then you are failing.

That's not true.

Remembering that we're all on our own path,

We're all on our own journey,

And we all have our own battles to face and to manage,

And you are doing that.

That is amazing.

And the things that you want will come,

But remember that things take time.

There's a period of gestation,

Just like when a,

You know,

A baby is grown in a woman's stomach,

Like there is a period of gestation where that's all developing.

So what do we do during that period of gestation?

Should we close our eyes and visualize what we want,

And then when we open our eyes,

We look around in horror at the imperfect nature of our current reality?

We say horrible things to ourselves because we haven't done the things yet.

Now,

I did this for a while,

And it's not fun,

So just take my word for it.

Just take my word for it.

So let's release the pressure to fix everything right now.

Yes,

If there's an intuitive nudge and some clear action that you think you can take that would help you to create some shift in your life,

Then take it.

Do it.

But if you're not sure,

Don't stress about it.

Or if you've tried things and you haven't got the results yet,

Don't make yourself bad.

You don't have to force everything into place.

We can resist how the things are and try to force things to change and then get fed up with ourselves when they don't,

Or we can let ourselves be.

We can let life flow.

So release the judgment that you have around yourself,

And if other people's comments or opinions trigger your own self-judgment,

I invite you to remember that it's highly unlikely that every domain of their lives is on point,

Because none of us are perfect.

And remember that conscious creation,

Owning your own life,

Manifesting,

All of that is not about putting everything in order on the outside.

It's about how we feel on the inside.

It's about allowing joy and ease and love to become a daily experience.

We can do that regardless of external circumstances.

And this,

This inner sense of well-being is the power that everything you want will be magnetized to in its own good time.

Relax.

Don't make it wrong.

Don't make yourself wrong.

Don't make your season of life wrong.

I bet you've been through a lot.

Appreciate yourself for that.

I bet you've grown a lot.

Appreciate yourself for that.

There's a lot happening under the surface,

And this is what actually counts.

Your power comes from your inner being,

From your energy,

And there is no bigger energy drain than losing your mind about what's quote-unquote wrong.

So say yes to those desires,

Those things that you say yes to those desires,

Those things that you want to change and up-level,

But do it in a loose way.

Trust that when the time is right,

You will take the actions.

You will be guided.

That life is with you,

Supporting you.

Take refuge in yourself,

Knowing that through non-resistance,

You are in your most powerful state of being.

So let's end with a few reflection questions for you to hopefully help you with this if you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself.

So you can pause after I say each prompt and just write down whatever comes to mind,

Even if it's just one word,

But just allow yourself to express.

Express.

So number one is,

Which areas of your life are going well at the moment?

Number two is,

What's the one or two things that you are desperate to change?

Number three is,

How do you feel emotionally and physically about those things that you want to change?

Is there a sense of excitement or calm,

Or is it more frustration,

Doubt,

Disappointment,

Self-judgment?

Maybe it's a mix.

Number four,

How would it feel if I trusted what I did in life and I released all that pressure and allowed myself to be present with what is,

How would that feel?

So my invitation to you is to see if you can trust that the changes are underway and also to appreciate all that you are right now,

All that your life is right now.

I mean,

This moment will never be again.

The way things are will never be again.

Things are constantly changing,

You just can't see it.

So let go of your attachment to the desires.

We don't want to attach to anything.

We can allow our desires to exist,

But we don't want to tie a rope around them.

So allow them to exist without being attached and let yourself and let things be as they are.

Right,

Well I hope that was helpful.

Let me know and hopefully we'll talk again very soon.

Take care.

Reviews

Hi Rachael, this was really wonderful and just what I needed to bring me back to this moment. Your gentle reminders that we all are in this together and to ease up on myself and find gratitude in what I do have.

What wonderful to start my day❤️. Eased my mind too. Thanks. ❤️

The vulnerability that you shared was so beautiful. Thank you.

Good reflection, and daily reminder to mediate on.

This was exactly what I needed to hear in this moment. Thank you!

A lovely reminder to appreciate the little things that float through our day!! Thanks Rachel 😊 💐

What a fantastic talk! Helped me to release feelings of regret and underaccomplishment. Seeing life from this perspective is amazing. Thank you Rachael💗💗💗Favorite!