Riding The Waves Of Anxiety

Anxiety can be tough. Paralysing, even. But, if we can maintain a sense of mindful care toward and protection over ourselves, we'll not only pull through but we will also come out the other side with a greater knowledge of our own strength and wisdom. In this audio, I present my personal reflections on what has helped me to get through an anxious state. I hope it is of value to you in your own struggle.

Wishing you well,
Rachael

Transcript

Anxiety is a tough cookie.

It's really common unfortunately and this year of all years probably has seen a massive surge in people being anxious or depressed and I recently had an experience of anxiety that was kind of the worst that I've ever had.

So I just wanted to kind of speak about my experience and what I found helpful.

If you're feeling anxious I'm sure you can kind of relate to this.

My experience being that for days on end I was just catastrophizing and dreaming up horrifying stories of the future and being self-critical,

Doubting myself,

Blaming myself,

Feeling guilty,

Feeling weak,

Feeling vulnerable,

Feeling attacked,

Feeling like a child,

Just a lot of negative thoughts and stories perpetuating throughout my brain second to second and my body was reacting too.

My heart was constantly beating rapidly.

I couldn't eat,

Couldn't even cook,

Why am I going to cook when I've got things to worry about,

Couldn't sleep.

So it was hard.

But I got through it,

I survived and even though in the moment I felt so stuck and overwhelmed and it was just so dark and forceful,

There were some moments throughout my experience of light and wisdom.

So the anxiety that you're all feeling now could be just a generalized anxiety or it might have been triggered by something specific and personal to you as mine was.

It could be a job loss or relationship breakdown,

Family issues,

Maybe there's something not quite right with your health or maybe you've got massive financial worries.

So hopefully some of these points that I mention now might just help you work through what is very common but it is really tough so I hope that some of my words might offer some level of comfort and empowerment.

The first point is don't resist.

When we're in pain and when we experience hard things in life it's natural for us to not want to feel that difficulty but as you'll know if you've studied meditation or Buddhism is that pain is increased when we resist our suffering.

So I would really encourage you to see if you can go toward the discomfort.

Let it flood you even,

You know there is actually a term called flooding which I discovered during my anxious periods a few weeks ago where you imagine that you're strapped to a chair for example and you just literally let the full force of your feelings and all those sensations surge through your body without trying to hold back or resist them and it sounds quite a torturous thing to do to yourself.

You know the imagery is not very pleasant when you say you know be strapped to a chair but actually to do it in practice it feels very empowering because as I said it's the resisting and the running away from difficulty that hurts the most so we actually stay with our experience and invite it in,

Investigate it,

Look at it square in the face.

We might feel pain but you know what we can also feel our strength in that moment.

The other thing I would suggest is depersonalising the anxiety.

We kind of take hold of it you know and one way we're resisting it but equally the stories that come along with it we take hold of it and we keep feeding them but it's interesting to note that actually we will have more or less the same bodily and mental reaction to a situation that our brain perceives to be a threat no matter how bad the situation is.

So it could be that you've got a gun to your head or you might be in a job interview but your bodily reactions aren't that different when you think about it you know you've still got your heart racing you're still thinking terrible things you're still feeling fear and so I found it quite comforting to see that my experience of anxiety and fear is less about me as an individual and more about biology you know it's the fight or flight response that has been designed to be over reactive in order to help us survive.

You know it's better that we mistake something that isn't scary for something that's scary than the opposite you know they're not it's better to see something that's not scary than to not see something that is scary so we are designed to overreact so the problem is obviously that you know now when we have less um for threats to our survival it's kind of an inappropriate response in most situations and you know that result is that we're just feeling crappy and it's hard but there is some I found anyway some comfort in that just taking it down to the level of biology rather than being wrapped up in this knee centric story.

Now this is a cliche um I really felt the true nature of it is that keeping up a healthy routine is so so important and I found that looking after myself when I'm feeling in this hijacked state almost seems impossible out of reach but at the same time it also feels almost self-indulgent you know how can I make myself breakfast when I've got things to worry about you know there are things and they need worrying about um but actually neglecting our physical needs will only make us weaker and also it's these daily habits that these are the things that in our life that we can actually control we have direct control over so do them exercise do yoga go for a walk sleep not too many hours but at least seven um drink water and if you drink alcohol be mindful you know should I be drinking a whole bottle at 12 o'clock in the afternoon you know versus okay maybe a glass of wine with dinner to help me relax so you know being mindful about the choices that we make and knowing that you know every choice we make can support our strength can support our um getting through this tough period similarly if you've got any self-care rituals for example mindful walking journaling visualization practices using crystals or reading positive quotes or any nice books so as with the basic habits the temptation is to push these things aside you know almost see them as not important or you know they're kind of a luxury but it's really important that you continue with these things because we need these rituals and these self-care practices more than ever when we're feeling anxious you know we're when we're anxious there's a lack of safety there's this sense that we are not safe and it's so important to just take the time to do the things that evoke a sense of safety in you and self-compassion is really absolutely key and again it's this opportunity to offer yourself a level of comfort and safety that you know your biology is is needing you know that's why this uh alarm bell has been triggered because you feel like you don't have safety you don't have comfort you don't have the basics that you need and on that note i found a practice called RAIN really useful um so RAIN is a kind of a common acronym used in various ways but this version that i'm talking about is the one offered by Tara Brack um R is recognize so what is happening inside of me what bodily sensations what thoughts are here what emotions am i noticing A is allow so allowing all these feelings and emotions and thoughts to be here again it's we're kind of inviting the stuff in rather than resisting and in in inviting it in and in having that courage to turn toward that's where we gain back a little bit of power i as investigate so how how does it feel how do i feel where do i feel the pain or the anxiety or the fear most in my body what do i think is beneath this fear this fear this anxiety what needs are not being met and is nurture so thinking about maybe someone who is important in your life you know maybe a parent or um a friend or maybe even your yourself yourself from the future your future wiser self what would they say to you looking at you in this moment knowing that you're feeling this difficult emotion what would they say to comfort you so i'd really recommend doing running through this practice called rain and it really is it really helped me um and what's wonderful about it is you don't have to you know you might not want to be up for sitting for 20 minutes doing a self-compassion practice but you can use rain in any way you like you know for as little or as long as you like so i really recommend looking that one up the other thing is visualization and journaling so i think what's the one thing that's really difficult when um you're feeling anxieties it's hard to kind of see that you even have a happy a happy future and you're kind of stuck in this mire of um drama and and fear and so actually just allowing your brain to um to dream to give to see what better looks like what does better look and feel like in the future tomorrow next week six months from now so write it down what what do you want to see yourself doing and feeling in six months or whenever it is from now and just really trying to visualize that mindfulness obviously is really a wonderful ally and even if it feels impossible in reality just try to give yourself permission just permission to be happy right now in this moment steal every moment of freedom that you can and when the thoughts creep in as we know they will like they like to do um let them be there you know again it's a sense of acceptance let them be around without entering into the dialogue because actually the thoughts can't sustain themselves if no one's listening and reacting to them then they kind of wither away also just know that you know this is not life is not easy and you know you can want better for yourself but at the same time be realistic and accept that you're not going to feel instantly better you know no matter how long you meditate for or you know how much you visualize something different outcome or what you're doing you're not going to feel better you know you're not going to visualize something different outcome or whatever um it's a process and it's okay and just let it be okay with letting it unfold naturally so we're trying to facilitate you feeling less triggered and and invoke a sense of safety but also accept that um that it's a process and change doesn't happen overnight and finally positivity um kind of gets the bad rap and i just want to um point out that i kind of had an epiphany on this and it was that positivity is not just a tactic in order to kind of um brush over uncomfortability or to make myself feel better in this moment but actually by down regulating the stress response by looking after myself and being um selective about where i place my attention i'm actually helping my brain to stay rational and what that means is i'm going to be more open to opportunities and to solutions and to positivity and maybe a completely new and unexpected path to move forward with versus curling the stress response that you're going to be able to move forward with versus curling up in a ball and just shutting the world out you know so there is a kind of um a productivity in doing things that make you feel good not just for the now but also for your future you know we can turn every difficult moment into something that helps us move forward and that really got me through the stretch of difficulty that i had so i just want to end with a poem and it's quite a famous one uh it's called guest house which i thought was quite um relevant in terms of the idea of kind of letting letting the difficult emotions be here so it's guest house by roomie this being human is a guest house every morning a new arrival a joy a depression a meanness some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor welcome and entertain them all even if they are a crowd of sorrows who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture still treat each guest honorably he may be clearing you out for some new delight the dark thought the shame the malice meet them at the door laughing and invite them in be grateful for whatever comes because each has been sent as a guide from beyond

Reviews

Great tips on being with the experience and working with it. RAIN is brilliant. 🙏❤️

Thank you for sharing your insights ✨

Very interesting! Thank you!

Thank you! It’s nice to know I am not alone in anxiety and the tips are very useful. Will listen to again.