Building Self Compassion

This meditation helps you develop the building blocks of self-compassion. It includes body-based relaxation, going through muscle groups, tensing and relaxing, and several scans of your body throughout. It asks you to picture a baby animal and invites you to explore compassion for that animal, then gradually apply that feeling to any discomfort in your body. Finally, you consider the potential role for self compassion in your life.

Transcript

Welcome to this self-compassion practice.

Make yourself as physically comfortable and well-supported as you can.

Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.

This exercise is just for you and your well-being.

So throughout,

Give yourself permission to focus on and enhance anything that you find helpful and to move away from or discard anything that feels distracting or less helpful.

Take a few moments to deepen your breathing,

Really slowing it down and focus inwardly.

We're going to work through a relaxation sequence that encourages you to tense and then relax different muscles in your body.

The goal is to tense them enough that you can sense the tension and then release them enough that you can feel a difference.

Full tension,

Full relaxation isn't necessary,

Only that you're able to notice the difference between the feeling of tension and the feeling of relaxation.

Let's begin at the top of your body.

Scrunch your eyes tightly together,

Using all the muscles in the top of your head and your eyes.

Release.

Now raise your eyebrows as high as you can,

Getting some tension across the top of your head and release.

For your jaw,

Clench your jaw in place,

Not too strongly,

To feel that tension and then open your jaw as wide as you can and release.

For the front of your neck,

Curl your head down,

Feeling tension around your throat.

For the back of your neck,

Gently curl your head back,

Feeling the tension in the back of your neck.

Next,

Bring your shoulders up towards your heels,

Feeling tension in the top of your shoulder.

Release,

Dropping your shoulders down.

Shoulders will make a muscle with your right arm,

Getting tension throughout that arm.

Make a fist with your right hand,

Release,

Shaking that out.

Make a muscle with your left arm,

Getting tension across that whole arm.

Release,

Your fist with your left hand,

Release,

Shaking the tension out.

Working on your chest,

Scrunch your shoulders forward,

Pulling them together as though they were going to touch you from the knees.

Release and scrunch up your abdominal muscles as though you're expecting blood in the stomach.

Your upper back,

Draw your shoulder blades back together as though you're trying to touch them behind you.

For your lower back,

Crunch your back,

Tensing those muscles.

For your hips and your bottom,

Squeeze your buttock muscles together,

Feeling tension at the base of your torso.

Tighten your right thigh with your foot at a 90 to tense up your calf muscle.

Release,

And for your right foot,

You can scrunch up that foot,

Getting tension across all the foot muscles.

Shake that one out.

Tense up your left thigh,

As though you're going to get up.

And again with your foot at a 90 degree angle to the leg,

Tense up your calf,

And scrunch up that left foot,

Getting all that muscle tension.

Now take a moment to notice the feelings in your body,

And notice what changes it's made to take some time to tense and release your muscles.

And as you're noticing the changes in your body,

Let's have a look at your mind.

Let's notice what your mind's eye is seeing right now.

And just as you've chosen to close your body's eyes and focus on releasing tension,

You can also choose to close your mind's eye.

Notice that right now your mind's eye lid is getting heavier and heavier,

Sliding shut,

Closing your mind to distractions and thought,

Just as you've closed your body's eyes to see.

You may be surprised at the difference it makes in your mind and your body.

To let your mind's eye be closed for a while,

Will you focus on this exercise?

Sometimes life is difficult.

Things happen to us and we get hurt.

When we're hurt,

There are things that make us feel worse and things that make us feel better.

Imagine a baby animal,

An animal that you find cute.

It could be anything.

Picture this little animal in its home,

Waiting for its mother to return with some food.

The baby animal is hungry and it doesn't know when its mother will return and it's starting to feel hungry and distressed.

Notice what your body feels like when you consider this little animal hungry,

Distressed,

Waiting for its mother.

What images and thoughts are coming into your mind?

What feelings are you feeling in your body?

Where do you feel these feelings most in your body?

Do you notice any urges to take action?

Just notice what's happening inside you as you consider the little animal in its struggle.

You might notice that you feel concerned or sorry for the animal.

You might feel a little of its discomfort or urgency.

You might have urges to assist it or well wishes for it.

These feelings you have for the little animal,

These are feelings of compassion.

Take a mental snapshot,

A record of these feelings in case you need to return to the feeling,

In case you need to bring it up again inside you.

Now imagine that the animal's mother returns with some food and the animal is soothed by the food and by her presence.

Notice how that feels inside you.

Now take your attention to your body slowly and carefully.

Check on each body part that I name with the curious mind of an investigator or detective.

We want to see what feelings are there and notice if there's any discomfort or disturbance there.

Notice your feet and toes.

If there's any discomfort there,

Just register it.

Notice how you feel towards it and keep moving with the exercise.

Notice your lower legs.

Notice your knees.

Notice your upper legs.

Notice your hips.

Again,

If there's any discomfort there,

Just make a note of it and of how you feel and keep moving with the exercise.

Notice your bottom and your pelvis.

Notice your belly and the organs inside.

Notice your lower back.

Notice your chest,

Your breathing,

The actions of your heart.

Notice your upper back.

Just making note of any discomfort and moving on.

Notice your shoulders,

Your upper arms,

Your elbows,

Registering any discomfort that you find and moving on.

Notice your lower arms,

Your wrists,

Your hands and your fingers.

Notice your neck and your throat.

Notice the base of your skull.

Notice your face,

Your mouth,

Your jaw,

Your ears,

Your eyes.

Notice your head as a whole.

Now return your attention to the places where you felt some discomfort and bring those feelings that you had for the little animal when it was hungry and waiting for its mother.

Bring those feelings back into your body.

Imagine feeling tender and concerned for the animal and let those feelings of compassion come into you.

When you're ready,

Share those feelings with the parts of your body that feel uncomfortable.

As you're doing this,

Notice what happens to the discomfort.

Observe with curiosity what happens when you offer compassion to your discomfort.

Be curious if you can about whether this is what you normally do when you feel uncomfortable.

How do you treat yourself when you are like the little animal,

Hungry and lonely?

How do you treat yourself when you hurt yourself?

How do you treat yourself when you are unwell?

How do you treat yourself when you're disappointed by a setback?

How do you treat yourself when you have a misunderstanding with someone?

Can you imagine sharing those feelings of compassion that you felt for the animal with yourself in those situations?

What difference would it make to you to offer some compassion to yourself?

What difference has it made to you in this exercise?

For some people,

There will have been pleasant feelings associated with offering compassion to their discomfort.

But for others,

This will take some practice to get used to.

If you're still getting used to this,

That's completely fine.

Keep practicing and you will get there.

For this next bit though,

You may wish to return to the feelings of compassion for the animal and practice that.

If you have had a positive experience,

You may wish to take some time to consolidate that experience.

You can take a minute to consider where in your life it would feel good for you to bring more compassion in.

You can let yourself go over those areas of your life and offer the warmth of compassion to yourself as a protective and soothing counterbalance to these difficulties you're experiencing.

Take a minute of contemplation of compassion,

Either for the little animal or for yourself,

Starting now.

Now that you've practiced feeling compassion for other beings,

Perhaps for yourself,

You can invite that feeling into your body whenever it feels useful.

You can also start to practice directing those feelings at yourself when you feel uncomfortable.

All beings suffer from time to time.

It's part of life.

Compassion is something that can help us to feel better.

You may be surprised to notice that over the coming days and weeks,

It's easier to bring up feelings of compassion for yourself.

It may surprise you to notice that when you're struggling and uncomfortable,

The possibility of offering yourself compassion comes up from within you.

And as you go through your day-to-day life,

You can find yourself regularly aware that everybody has struggles from time to time.

Struggles are easier to get through when somebody is offering you compassion.

It's easier to get through your challenges if you focus some of your own compassion on yourself.

This exercise is about to come to a close,

So in your own time,

Prepare yourself to wrap up the exercise and gradually and gently reorient yourself to your body,

The place that you're in right now.

And when you're ready,

You can come back to an awareness of yourself and your current surroundings.