Often our deepest suffering comes from this sense that something we have done or something about us is fundamentally wrong and unacceptable.
And when we feel this way,
We can move through each day with kind of like this background noise,
This subconscious thinking that is self-critical and that notices all the ways within a day that we feel like we've fallen short.
And by the end of the day,
It can leave us feeling pretty exhausted and kind of at a sense of loss of not knowing how to be at home with ourselves and how to overcome this negative self-talk or maybe just like an uncomfortable feeling that we have to sit with from having this voice be on the background throughout the day.
So in this meditation,
We're just going to create some space for this and see if we can offer a little compassion for ourselves.
So take a moment to find a seated position or maybe you lie down.
Whatever feels most supportive for you right now,
Whatever your body is most needing.
You can let your palms rest in your lap or if you're lying down,
They can rest at your sides with your palms facing up.
Let your spine be long but soft and relaxed.
And take a few moments to take three deep breaths using the inhale to fill your lungs,
Expand your chest and each exhale to slowly release and soften.
And again,
Another deep inhale and slow exhale.
And one more time,
A deep inhale,
Sensing the space to just be,
To breathe and slow exhale.
And now let your breath return to its natural rhythm.
And you can leave your eyes open or if you haven't already,
You can let them gently close.
Just take a moment to scan through the body,
Sensing any obvious areas of tension.
See if you can release that tension,
See if it's ready to soften,
Let go.
And sensing into your hands,
Softening the hands.
And bringing that awareness into the pelvic region.
Sensing your bones against the seat or against the floor,
The natural arc in your lower back.
And then let your awareness fall like gravity into your feet.
Sensing the pressure that comes from your feet touching the floor.
Now take a moment to notice the breath.
Being with the breath in whatever area is easiest for you to sense it.
So this might be inside the nostrils or in the rise and fall of your belly or your chest.
Or maybe you're able to sense into the whole body breathing.
And like snow falling in a snow globe,
We're just taking a moment to let all the shaking and the falling snow,
All the chitter chatter in our lives to just fall down.
Slowly drifting to the bottom where it can rest for some time.
And we do this by being with the breath.
You might even say to yourself,
Inhale as you inhale and exhale as you breathe out.
Now staying with the breath and a sense of softness and relaxation in your body,
Ask yourself,
Is there anything between me and being at home with myself?
And feel free to change the wording in any way that helps you identify the presence of self-blame or self-criticism.
Maybe using today,
Moving through the day,
Noticing the thoughts,
The stories that have come up through the day that you're telling yourself.
This might be stories of letting others down,
Of performing poorly at work,
Of not meeting your standards as a parent or a partner,
A friend,
Or just as a human being.
Just take a moment here and see what comes up in your body and mind.
And if something arises,
See if you can just let it be there without having a sense of reaction to it or needing to resist it,
Trying to quiet it.
But just noticing it like we do with the breath.
You might even gently place your hand on your heart as you make some space for this to be here.
And maybe sensing into this as a common experience for people.
That at some point in our lives,
We all struggle with feelings of self-criticism or feelings of inadequacy.
And see if you can sense into this spaciousness,
Taking this moment to create space for this feeling,
These thoughts to be here.
See if you can see it as an invitation for compassion.
That this space itself is like a message that's saying,
Ah,
It's hard to feel these things.
Just recognizing and acknowledging this experience that maybe you haven't had time within the day to really acknowledge.
It's just been in the background throughout the day.
And now you're turning towards it and saying,
I see you.
I hear you.
And this is a hard thing to be felt.
Now as you continue to hold space for this to be here,
See if you can look a little bit more deeply into what it is that might be giving rise to these thoughts.
Maybe there's a fear.
A fear of being unlovable.
A fear of being inadequate.
And maybe this voice of criticism is really just trying to protect you from experiencing that fear or protect you from experiencing feelings of inadequacy.
And as you sense into this underlying vulnerability,
See if you can meet it with compassion.
So sending a sincere message of self-compassion directly to the places of fear or unmet needs.
And you might mentally whisper,
I see how I've caused myself suffering,
And I forgive myself.
Or maybe just simply offer yourself the words,
Forgiven.
Forgiven.
And meet whatever arises,
Fear,
Judgment,
Or shame,
With message of forgiveness.
You might call on the presence of someone you consider to be deeply loving and understanding.
And feel his or her compassion flowing into you and supporting you.
And notice what happens when you bring an unconditionally forgiving heart to the parts of you that are wounded and vulnerable.
And sensing into this space of compassion and forgiveness that you're allowed to be human.
That you're allowed to make mistakes.
And that it's also part of our nature as humans sometimes to feel like we're not good enough or to feel inadequate.
And that doesn't mean that we are.
That the feeling or the thought itself isn't confirmation of truth.
So just being with your experience right now with compassion.
Allowing space for everything to be as it is.
And then begin to come back to your breath,
Noticing the expansion of each inhale and the release of each exhale.
