The Flame

Brooks talks about his experience prior to getting a lung transplant seven years ago, when his body was wasting away, like a candle. He realized how the candle, not the flame, is what melts. He used the time to reflect on his life, and never felt more alive, despite his body withering away.

Transcript

Hi,

It's Brooks.

Thanks for joining me.

I wanted to tell you a story.

It was almost seven years ago that I got a double lung transplant.

And I'm doing really well today.

And I've had no rejection or anything.

And I feel really healthy.

But the two years before I got the transplant I was really sick.

I was stuck in bed a lot.

And it was really hard to breathe.

And pretty much do anything.

And I had a lot of time to reflect.

Because there was nothing else to do.

You can only watch so much TV.

So I would just sit there a lot,

Kind of quietly.

And just looking at what was going on.

Because my body was,

I'd lost like 40 or 50 pounds.

And I was breathing really heavily.

And I,

Well the really interesting thing though,

During that time.

That I was losing that weight and basically my body was withering away.

The really interesting thing was,

I felt very alive.

I felt like more alive than I'd ever felt before.

And I thought that was so strange because I was disappearing.

I was losing that weight and my lungs were getting sicker and sicker.

And I was having to breathe through an oxygen machine and things like that.

And I would just be astounded at how alive I would feel.

And then I started getting this intuitive feeling.

It was very strong that my body is like a candle.

And it's melting away.

But the flame doesn't change as the candle melts.

And I had this strong sense that I'm the flame,

Not the candle.

And it was beautiful.

It was a really wonderful experience amidst a very miserable situation.

And I kept thinking about that.

That feeling stayed with me.

It wasn't like a temporary thing that came and went.

It just got stronger and stronger.

And I just kept feeling like I'm the flame.

You know,

The body's disappearing but I'm the aliveness inside the body.

Kind of like I felt like I was the electricity inside of a toaster or something.

And I felt like,

Oh,

I'm the operating force.

Not like in an ego way,

Like I'm the operating force.

But it was very matter of fact.

Like looking up in the sky and seeing the sun.

It's like this is it.

This is what's going on.

This is what's going on underneath.

And you normally can't see it.

I was thinking that to myself.

You normally can't see this aliveness because you're focused on things around you.

And that's normal.

That's natural.

That's what we do in life.

We take care of our job.

We feed ourselves.

We have a relationship.

We've got things going on that we put our attention on.

I don't really think that's part of life.

So anyway,

I thought,

I actually had this feeling like I could die.

And I thought it was a really distinct possibility because I was dying.

And I just remember,

There was a great peace of mind about that.

It's like,

If the body dies,

I'll be fine.

I'll be okay.

And so what ended up happening was I got the transplant.

And it was pretty much at the last possible second.

They were trying to figure out all these ways of how to keep me alive.

And trying to put as much oxygen into my body,

Just blasting it in there,

Because my lungs were just shot.

They were just completely shot.

And so I got the transplant.

And there was like two weeks of just hallucinations and not sure if I was in a dream or waking.

And then I was awake and then I felt really good.

And I still felt that feeling of alive,

Being alive,

That liveness.

And I loved that.

I loved that it was still with me.

And the great thing is I still feel that today.

I feel it right now as I'm talking with you.

And the interesting thing is when I talk to people,

I feel like I'm talking to that same flame.

That's what we have in common.

We're that same energy,

That same primal force of life that moves planets.

It moves us.

I mean,

That's my experience.

And so even when I'm talking to you right now,

I feel like I'm talking to that primal force,

That energy.

And anyway,

It's quite an honor and I really appreciate it.

And I appreciate you.

And I appreciate that life force in you.

I appreciate your liveness.

And I really think it's the only valuable thing we have in our lives.

Like the most valuable thing we have in our lives.

That's probably a better way to put it.

Because without that,

I know for me,

I won't be able to experience anything without that vital force.

So anyway,

I wanted to share that with you because I think it's just such a neat idea.

And I really appreciate you listening to me talk about this.

And I appreciate you.

And I wish you the best.

Take care.

Reviews

Thank you for sharing. I appreciate the aliveness in you too!

Oh my, Bruce Palmer! Only someone who has been through all that you have experienced would ever be able to share this magnificent story with the world. After watching countless patients die, I am convinced that the flame energy within never, ever dies. Your story reminds me of my own brush with death. Although I suffered, I didn’t have to endure all you have lived through. I am honored to have connected with you. 🙏❤️☺️

Thank you. I feel the same, thank you again for putting words to my feelings thank you for sharing.

A wonderful talk. Thank you Brooks for sharing your insights- this is a most inspiring way to think about ones “aliveness”.

thank you for your flame🔥🌺

Brooks, thank you for sharing your story. Blessings🙏

This is a very precious sharing, bless you🙏

Wow! Thank you for sharing your insight. Very powerful. I appreciate your flame too Brooks! All the best, Phil

That could not have been easy to share, thank you for appreciating me and explaining that. What a gift you've given me.

Brooks thank you f o r sharing so eloquently your insight. I love the flame and candle analogy to describe our soul and the fickleness of our body. I now try focus on people's flame, rather than their candle and dare i say it is illuminating to do so! So thank you for sharing. Brooks I am curious that in your written intro you state it is the flame that melts. Is that what you meant?

I love that you share. I feel the connection you talk of and you speak so openly about your experience.

Brooks, thank you very much for this encouraging message, you are encouraging soul.
Be well, namaste 🙏

Brooks, thank you for sharing from your heart. This is so profound, I am in tears as I write this. The flame inside you, which you might call spirit, soul, prana, life force, is in everyone. The light in me sees and honours the light in you. 😊🙏❤