I Wonder What I'll Say On This One!

I love pondering. It's free and delightful. In the midst of the moment, words come out of my mouth, as I share my fascination and exploration of what's here. A vibrant world is waiting to be discovered. Come join me!

Transcript

Hi,

This is Brooks,

And thank you for joining me wherever you are out there in the world.

I'm in my kitchen,

Looking at my shadow on the kitchen table.

And it's like the second me,

You know?

There's the second me.

I look different than the first me,

But I move in the same way.

When I move in my head,

On my arm,

I move in the shadow.

The second me moves exactly like the physical me that's talking to you right now.

So I like to entertain myself really well.

I think I'm my own streaming service.

I really enjoy myself a lot.

Now I'm looking at my computer because I'm recording this on the computer.

And I'm looking at.

.

.

Sometimes I'm eating food and I'm typing.

So I see pieces of food,

Or the old remains of pieces of food on the keyboard.

So I think I need to clean the keyboard.

But it's funny.

It's funny that it's there.

You know,

It's just sitting there.

I don't even know what it is.

It looks like oil and something shiny.

And it avoided being eaten.

And now it lives on the computer.

It's very flexible,

The food.

Anyway,

I'll clean it up.

It's pretty nice to.

.

.

I was thinking how really interesting it is to speak.

Because so much has to happen.

There's the breath that's moving through my mouth when I'm talking.

And then my mouth and tongue move in a certain way to form these particular words.

And I have no idea how that happens.

But it's so fascinating.

It's like having a musical instrument in my mouth.

And in some ways I'm used to it.

Because I recognize my voice and I've been able to speak for a long,

Long time.

But at the same time,

It's like.

.

.

I don't know how it works.

I think there's a lot of stuff that I don't know how it works.

I'm not really a why person.

I'm mostly a curious person.

Like today I went to the gastroenterologist for a checkup.

And on the wall they had this poster of the digestive system.

And while I was sitting there waiting for the doctor to come in the room,

I was in awe of all the stuff that's hidden in my stomach region.

It just burps.

There's some digestion going on as I'm talking about digestion.

And there's this whole other world of.

.

.

There's the gallbladder,

There's the small intestine,

The large intestine,

The stomach.

Other stuff that I didn't know the name of.

And their whole job.

.

.

I was just sitting there looking at it.

That's their job.

To take whatever I put in my mouth,

Chew and swallow.

They take it and like some kind of supernatural factory break down the nutrients in a way that I don't understand.

I guess I'd have to go to medical school to really figure it out.

But a way that I don't know how it works.

But it allows.

.

.

It gives me the energy to talk to you.

The dinner that I had like 20 minutes ago,

All these amazing machines in my gut are breaking down the food and putting the nutrients into my bloodstream so that I have the energy to talk to you.

And I don't even think they get to enjoy the food.

Like I got to enjoy it.

I had some rice and beans and cottage cheese and artichoke hearts.

And it was very pleasurable for me to chew that stuff and just.

.

.

Like chew and eat it.

That was a great time for me.

But then all these parts,

I don't think they taste that stuff.

I don't even know if they get pleasure out of breaking stuff down and making it so that my body can use the nutrients for energy.

And I don't know.

I guess it doesn't really matter.

But I think mostly it's just being at awe of that process.

Because most of the time it's like chew,

Eat,

That's it,

Forget about it.

And now I'm really grateful that I have these buddies in my stomach area.

I'm really glad they work.

So I think that's why I really have a good time,

You know,

Like enjoy things in the moment.

Even when I'm not feeling that well.

Like when I was really sick,

I got a double lung transplant about nine years ago,

Almost.

And there were times where I was stuck in bed and I'd get out of breath just moving a few inches because my lungs were screwed up at that time.

But at the same time I was fascinated,

Like how can I even be alive in this moment?

Like my lungs are,

I think like they're so destroyed yet I'm still,

Like somehow or another they're able to extract some oxygen so that I can experience being alive and remain alive.

You know,

Like that to me is like incredible.

When they took my lungs out and I put in new lungs,

They took the old lungs and they did an autopsy on them.

And the doctor,

He said that they were like leather,

They were hard.

And lungs are supposed to be porous and light,

You know.

And he didn't know I was able to be alive.

And I didn't know either.

But I knew I was alive.

That was really wonderful,

You know.

So even though I'm just sitting here enjoying the moment,

There's a lot going on in my body to allow me to do this.

So I look at it as I'm just relaxing,

Enjoying being here talking to you.

And meanwhile there's just this incredible factory going on doing,

And so many departments and so many parts and pieces working,

Working,

Working really intensely.

So I can sit here and just relax and talk to you.

It's pretty,

It's pretty interesting.

I guess like it's just,

It's,

I don't know what I was going to say.

I ran out of words.

But I do like talking about this.

I like pondering.

Pondering is free because it comes up spontaneously.

That's what's really nice about it.

It's like whenever thoughts come up,

Or when I'm talking,

I'm just thinking about how cool it is to talk and not have it written out.

And then it's like usually I hear my thoughts.

You know,

I'm aware of them internally,

So to speak.

But when I talk and just see what comes out of my mouth,

Then it's like all of a sudden thoughts are,

They're expressed out loud rather than inside my thinking.

So it's kind of really cool to hear them.

And after I speak them,

The words evaporate.

They come out as a thing and then they just disappear.

Same with thinking.

I'll have a thought.

Sometimes it could be an intense thought.

A pleasurable or unpleasurable,

Intense thought.

It's very dominant.

And then it's gone and it evaporates.

Like it never was.

Well,

I'm running out of stuff to talk about,

So thank you for listening.

I really appreciate you being there on the other side of this.

And I wish you the best.

Bye.

Reviews

Thank you for sharing your thought , they are very enjoyable & relaxing

Thank you that was very nice
Anyway I have a question for you: how did you lungs get so bad?

As optimistic, joyful and full of gratitude as ever, thanks Brooks for sharing being you! Makes me smile ☺️ Love your artwork too

This was a fun and imaginative talk with you! Thanks for letting us join your experience.