Hi,
This is Brooks,
And thanks for joining me.
Today I'm going to give you what I found is a helpful tip whenever I'm trying to do something new.
Whenever I'm changing how I normally do stuff.
And it's a real simple phrase.
It's,
If I can.
So maybe I say to myself,
You know I want to try to exercise more.
And then I add,
If I can.
And it doesn't diminish whether I do it or not.
It just takes away that pressure of,
You know,
Sometimes I think,
Oh yeah,
I really need to exercise,
So I've got to do this.
And that's pressure.
And what I've found is that pressure never helps.
It doesn't feel good.
What feels good is encouragement.
I'd like to exercise more.
I think I would feel better.
So,
I'm going to see if I can do it.
And that leaves things open.
And so that way,
Maybe one day I don't exercise.
As a result of that attitude,
Like if I can,
It's like,
Oh,
Okay,
I'm not going to be able to exercise today.
Or when I go into sleep at night,
Oh,
I didn't get to exercise today.
But there's on that,
Oh my God,
You know,
You said you were going to do it,
And you didn't do it.
Which never feels good.
I never like say that to myself and go,
All right,
I feel like I'm encouraged now.
I just feel worse.
I mean,
There's,
I don't know about you,
But my experience is self-criticism is destructive.
It's like punching myself.
Punching myself in the heart.
Because I think,
Like when I talk to myself,
Whatever it is that I'm saying,
It's intimate.
You know,
It's inside of me.
So if it's positive and encouraging,
That makes,
That uplifts my heart immediately.
But if it's critical,
It hurts immediately.
And it's like a bruise on my heart.
So again,
That's why I like to say,
You know,
If I can.
And I even had that attitude when I started doing this recording.
I'm going to talk about if I can,
If I can,
You know what I mean?
Like I want to do this recording because I think it could help.
I mean,
It certainly helped me.
So I'm going to do it if I can.
And so far,
So good.
So far,
I haven't had to stop this or,
You know,
Oh,
That wasn't any good.
None of that.
It's just,
I don't know,
I just find it very easy,
Easier with these things to be very open and talk about my own experience.
And if any of these things that I say ring true to you,
You know,
If you hear me say,
You know,
Using if I can when I attempt to do something,
If that rings true for you,
Great.
You give it a try.
Again,
If you can,
Right?
I'll use if I can,
If I can.
Because we can't be,
You know,
Life is,
There's ups and downs.
You know,
Some days you have more energy than others.
Some days you're getting a lot of stuff done and then other days it's just like,
Ah,
Everything is meeting resistance.
And that's a fact of life.
Life is constant change.
Nothing stays the same.
So it helps to know that before we do any endeavor.
Like this might happen,
This thing that I want to do,
Or it might not happen.
Regardless of how hard I try,
You know,
Sometimes things don't happen.
But there's something kind about this.
That kindness is really powerful.
Kindness goes a long way.
And I think that's all we want anyway.
Regardless,
Whatever it is that we want in life,
Deep down it's this desire for kindness.
The tenderness.
Because we're vulnerable creatures.
We really feel things.
No matter how much we try to cover up our feelings sometimes,
We really feel stuff.
So there's something that we want to do.
So this kind approach,
Again,
If I can.
And again it takes that pressure off and it leaves things a lot more open.
And it creates a level of flexibility.
If we say,
I've got to do this,
And I've got to do it good,
And I've got to do it now.
There's a tension there.
And it takes away that flexibility and that openness,
Which is really super valuable than trying to do anything.
That flexibility is really important.
So if you like this,
If it sounds like something you'd like to do,
If I can,
Give it a try.
See how it feels.
Maybe you'll come up with other words that suit you more.
This stuff is all like you take it in and you see what happens.
So it's good spending time with you.
And I wish you the best and take care.
Bye.
