Understanding & Releasing Emotional Blockages (Talk & Q&A)

Before we can fully accept and release emotional blockages, we have to understand why and how they arise. If we don't know with certainty that they happen for a reason, we will resist them. This talk aims to explain this process of releasing fears by talking about the non-dual and effortless nature of life. It is followed by a Q&A session that answers questions on how to deal with physical pain, cultivate a correct mindset, put an end to negative behavioural patterns, and more.

Transcript

Hi everybody and welcome to this live event on understanding and releasing emotional blockages.

A question that all of us have is why do we ever lose the sense of peace and presence that we find in meditation,

That we find when we recognize our true self,

This pure spaciousness,

Pure beingness that always and already is complete and whole.

And why do we have to face difficulties in life?

Why do we have to face difficult emotions?

And the more we meditate,

The more we understand the answers,

The more we get these reasons why things are the way they are.

And the first thing that is very important to notice in meditation is that thoughts come to us.

We are not thinking them consciously,

We do not always decide I will think about this now for 5 hours and nothing else.

That's very difficult to do.

So thoughts come to us and thoughts generate feelings which generate actions.

As such there is no free will,

Everything is simply unfolding moment by moment by moment in this space of beingness,

This I am-ness.

So then the question is why do they unfold in the way they unfold?

Is there a pattern to life?

And once again why are there difficulties?

Why do I lose this sense of presence and of peace?

If we go deeper into the no free will thing,

It means that there is no cause and effect.

There is an appearance of cause and effect,

You know if I eat my stomach is full.

But since there is no chooser and no doer,

Then these things are simply unfolding in the moment.

So there is one initial cause for creation and this is a very deep topic talking about all of life.

Because really understanding our emotion requires the understanding of all of life and the acceptance of things as they are and why they are like this.

So there is this one thought that appears in this pure spaciousness of consciousness which is what if I experience something other than pure peace,

Pure beingness?

What if I became aware of something other than myself?

And because consciousness is infinite,

This simple thought of otherness creates this massive universe or many universes and many worlds of experiences.

But of course there is something untrue in the experience of otherness because really there is no separation.

In truth there is just awareness experiencing itself in all of these millions of forms.

But then what happens is that each of these forms is trying or the purpose of each form is to return to self,

To return to presence,

To return to truth.

And this is why there is this journey,

This journey of losing ourselves,

Finding ourselves,

Returning to presence,

Getting lost in past and future,

Being at peace and then losing our peace and being angry at others or dissatisfied with our situations.

It is a constant return to what is true and getting lost in what is not true.

And the more we see that this pattern is natural and it happens effortlessly and there is no one to blame for it,

It's just the way things unfold.

The more we can accept our thoughts and our feelings,

Our behaviours,

Our patterns that the world and we call destructive and of course I have to emphasise here that we should always do our best to not go further than what is needed.

So as an example,

If someone's partner does something that is annoying him or her,

The first step is first to feel this annoyance,

Feel the thoughts that come up,

Feel the blame,

The judgements that come up and try and turn them towards yourself.

There is a part of you that you don't like,

That you judge,

That you blame for these behaviours that the other person is doing.

At times it's possible to just feel this resistance within yourself and release it and then see that actually what the other person is doing is not wrong,

They just have a different way about the way they do things.

Or you can just talk about it in a way that comes from love,

From curiosity,

From fun,

From joy,

You know,

Some loving way can actually contribute to strengthen your relationship once you have felt your resistance.

If that first step is not available or not possible,

If the feeling is too strong,

Then you can probably at first try to not feel it in meditation but express it in an art form or through a physical activity or again something that helps you deal with it yourself.

And then the third step is talking about it as peacefully as possible with your partner and if none of that is possible,

Because sometimes emotions are very strong,

Then you have to just tell your partner that they are wrong,

That what they do is unacceptable,

Etc.

But if you are in a conscious relationship,

Then you would know that this blaming,

This judgement is just something in the moment that is coming up in you that you can't help but say.

And as soon as you can,

Then your job,

Your task should be to apologize,

To say look,

It was just what happened in the moment,

I had no control over my emotions,

I know it's just me and you're not doing anything massively wrong.

And in this way you can resolve these conflicts in a peaceful and loving way and it's true for any pattern that you have,

There are stages of emotion.

At any stage you should do your best to try and feel the emotion,

To bring awareness to the part of the body in which you feel it most,

To bring awareness to your thoughts as much as possible and then move from there.

Something else that becomes obvious the more you go back to presence,

The more you see your patterns,

The more you release those beliefs in separation is that the universe is very intelligent.

So even when you can't face your emotions early on and you have to say something to someone that is unkind,

Disrespectful,

Blaming them,

Judgemental etc.

Then this what you say is generally useful for them as well to some extent or it doesn't affect them or it's useful for many people present in a situation.

So in a way these negative emotions are recycled in this way to help a lot of other people also release these feelings within them,

Again whenever necessary and very often it's not necessary to go that far and to project onto others and the world.

Another thing about patterns,

Things that we consider destructive or not helpful or somehow we blame ourselves for them,

They arise because there is a feeling underneath and sometimes we cannot just face the feeling.

It's too strong or it's linked to some part of the body-mind that needs to be triggered externally in which the external world has to reflect it back to us in some way.

And in these cases this is why the pattern arises because it is there to help us digest this underlying emotion and it is the first step of this emotion coming up.

So again there is nothing really to do about it except bring presence to the situation as much as possible.

And whenever we're ready the emotion will come out and then we can sit with it,

We can feel it,

We can embrace it,

We can allow it to be as it is without trying to change it in any way.

And here again I have to say that both with me and other people that I have met and helped throughout this journey,

Some releasing patterns are quite strange or funny.

Sometimes what arises is laughter or shaking or making some strange noises or going for a super fast sprint,

Just things that help us process those emotions.

And it's important not to think that any of them are weird,

It's important to allow the body to do what it does and not try to stop the process,

To suppress it,

To say it's wrong,

That you can be smarter,

That it's unhealthy.

All of these thoughts are just there to try and stop something that the body wants to naturally do.

So allow that to simply happen.

And another thing that is beautiful about this initial cause and all of this being the effect of this thought,

What if I experience otherness,

Is that everything that everyone does is a growth towards deeper presence,

Towards truth,

Towards peace.

Therefore nothing is wrong,

Therefore everything is always unfolding perfectly.

Sometimes we blame ourselves,

We think I shouldn't be eating this,

I shouldn't be watching this,

I shouldn't be scrolling on Facebook or just some pattern that we do to try and seemingly suppress an emotion,

To seemingly not face something.

To seemingly not do what we should be doing.

You know,

So many thoughts come up while we do these things.

But actually as I said before,

It's just the first step towards an emotion arising.

So allow it,

It's okay.

If that's what you're doing and if you cannot stop it,

Then that is your purpose in the moment,

It's to allow this behavior,

To feel the emotion that is coming up.

Be with it,

Sit with it.

And with each release there is an unveiling,

An insightful understanding of a different part of life,

Of how this process unfolds,

Of the beauty and the intelligence of the universe.

So don't stop the process.

It will lead you to beautiful realizations,

To presence,

To accepting all of life,

To accepting all of your patterns,

All of your thoughts,

All of your feelings.

And that's really what we want.

My last messages are that suffering is finite,

It has an end,

It has a beginning.

But truth,

Our self,

This space of beingness,

This space of awareness isn't finite.

It always is.

It is a source of all things.

It can never end.

A big part of why we are here is these two processes.

Understand life more and more deeply and release our resistances to what is our beliefs in separation.

The second key message is that creation is effortless.

So the more you release your resistances,

The more you will find that what you really want to do,

Your purpose in life,

What gives you most joy will flow through you.

You will be unable to contain it.

It will just happen and you will experience this joy of creating but also making others experience bliss,

Happiness,

Peace through these creations.

And all of this will just naturally unfold more and more.

Zoe,

You say,

Can emotional release cause pain to surface in the body?

Yeah,

So pain kind of serves a dual purpose.

Sometimes when we hit ourselves,

Let's say I hit my hand or I burn myself while cooking,

Then there is also an emotional attachment to this event.

So it's like,

Why did it happen?

Maybe it brings up a memory of another time I hit myself.

No.

Something.

So it's both physical and emotional.

And sometimes also physical pain appears because it's a more condensed form of experience.

So it contains in a way more emotion.

And the more we feel it,

The more we allow it to be,

Then we can also release these emotions that it contains.

And of course I would say that it's important when you feel physical pain to do whatever we can to ease it.

That's the first step and then feel the emotion behind it.

It's also that the body's purpose is to help us grow spiritually.

So sometimes pain in the body,

Like anxiety or depression or headache or problem with the throat,

All of these have different meanings and they arise.

Again,

There's this intelligence of the universe that makes them arise for a particular reason that's specific to us.

And the more we feel them,

The more we ponder upon these reasons,

The more we can release them and understand why they are there.

Mary Lou,

You say,

Makes total sense,

Matter of staying in that mindset and living it.

Yes,

I'm glad it makes sense.

Again,

The more you release your identification with the mind-body,

Then the more you can see that there is no choice.

Your mindset is as it is moment by moment.

And that allows you to embrace it and paradoxically the more you allow your mindset to be as it is,

The more it is present,

The more it is peaceful and here now.

When you want to reach a certain mindset,

There's many things at play.

So first,

It's a bit of a resistance to what is,

So that's triggered.

Second,

When you reach the mindset,

You want to hold on to it and then anything that is not that mindset can once again arise to the surface.

And that is again part of this duality,

You know,

Coming back to presence and being triggered and returning to a deeper and deeper presence.

Apus,

You say,

Thanks,

Bojan.

I would like to discuss,

But now it's very difficult for me to open up.

I don't know how to express it.

Actually,

Expressing my emotion is very difficult.

Yeah,

And sometimes that is part of the process.

You know,

We cannot talk about the emotion.

We cannot feel it.

And that's once again,

It's this stage where something is coming up,

But it may take a while to happen.

For me,

For example,

When this is the case,

Very often I have to,

I don't know,

Watch YouTube videos or do something like wash the dishes,

Something that is useful or not useful,

But not related to the emotion.

And the more I let life happen with this emotion in the background,

The more it is just allowed to come up,

To come up.

And then when I'm ready,

I can sit with it and allow it to unfold.

Thira,

You say,

How can I steer away from the compulsive patterns I used to suppress and block my emotions?

Any tools or meditations to keep on hand?

So at first,

If you feel like you can steer away from these patterns,

Then by all means do what you can.

There's a lot of meditations on Inside Timer.

There's probably a lot of teachers and online tools that can help you.

And also,

I think the most important thing is to bring as much awareness to the pattern as you can.

First,

There is this desire to engage in this pattern.

So rest with that.

Then there is maybe an action,

A physical movement towards the pattern.

Be with that,

As aware as you can.

And sometimes this awareness is enough to not engage with the pattern to stop you,

To allow the emotion to flow before you engage with the pattern.

And then even while you are engaging with the pattern,

Again,

Bring as much awareness to it as you can.

And eventually,

One of the last stages is not blaming yourself,

Knowing it as part of the unfolding,

Knowing that it is the way that you release emotions,

It's the way that you go deeper into presence,

That it is related to your particular spiritual path.

And so the self-blame,

The judgement,

The idea that it's wrong,

The idea that it's self-sabotaging will become less and less and less and less.

And eventually you won't engage with those patterns anymore.

Natalia,

You say,

Self-compassion meditation helps me to feel and letting the emotions flow through.

Yeah,

Self-compassion is so important.

The self,

Once again,

Is this open space of awareness,

Of beingness within which everything arises.

And we can experientially know and understand that this changeless experience doesn't affect it,

It is always present,

It is always here.

Then the thoughts and the feelings that arise do not matter and we can more and more allow them to flow through,

To be as they are,

Without resisting them.

It goes back to the last point I said that creation is effortless.

We remain as awareness and thoughts and feelings come to us effortlessly,

Naturally.

Our awareness,

Awareness itself,

Does not resist any part of experience,

It's like the space in a room.

No matter how you place the objects in the room,

The furniture,

The space remains the same.

It is simply there and it says,

Yes,

I don't mind the sofa being there,

Yes,

I don't mind the wardrobe being there.

Whatever you do with the space,

It's okay with it.

It's the same with awareness,

No matter what thoughts,

What emotions,

What circumstances flow through it,

It is simply saying yes to all experience.

So our self just embraces and loves all of our thoughts,

Emotions,

Bodily sensations,

Circumstances,

People in our lives in exactly this open,

This present,

This neutral way.

I think I will end the event here if there are no more questions.

Please do follow me on the platform to get a notification for future events.

I also have a website where I offer one-to-one sessions so you can check that out on my profile.

I look forward to staying in touch and seeing you all again soon.

Thank you and bye-bye for now.

Reviews

Thank you. This really helps me understand emotional blockages.