Hello and welcome.
So in this short talk I want to explore with you how tuning into our body and mind can open up the door for a deeper felt sense of compassion.
Many of us have learned to care and give kindness to other people but struggle often to give that same care and compassion towards ourselves.
So what if your body,
Particularly your emotions,
Your sensations and your nervous system,
Were not obstacles to overcome,
Messengers of wisdom worthy of compassion?
Being human is messy and we experience thoughts,
Emotions,
Tensions,
Reactions often all at once.
We often carry expectations,
Inner critic,
A felt sense of exhaustion and maybe a deep desire to be better,
A desire to be calmer,
A desire to be more in control.
I want to tell you that self-compassion doesn't begin with changing these.
It begins with an awareness,
A self-awareness and a self-allowing.
Allowing yourself to be and allowing yourself to feel.
Your mind and body and spirit are not separate systems.
They all interact and when one of these systems suffers,
Other parts suffer too.
And when suffering is allowed and honored and felt,
Then healing begins to ripple through the systems.
So I ask you,
Can you meet yourself,
Your whole self,
With gentleness instead of judgment?
Everything in life is relational and that includes the relationship you have with yourself.
We often relate to our inner world as a battlefield,
Resisting uncomfortable thoughts,
Shaming our emotions or ignoring our body signals.
Our wisest self asks,
How do you want to relate to yourself?
What kind of relationship are you nurturing?
Relationship with your nervous system,
Your inner critic and all those tender parts of you.
Practice of body and mind awareness offers a new way to relate to yourself.
One that's curious,
Courageous and importantly compassionate.
When starting practices like this,
It's always good to remember thoughts are a language of our mind and emotions are the language of the body.
And when we get stuck in our thoughts,
Self-judgment,
Negativity,
We often feel disconnected from what our body is actually feeling.
Your body is constantly giving you information.
Tightness,
Restlessness,
Fatigue,
Tears,
Numbness.
These aren't bad signs,
They're honest signals.
They are the true wisdom of your body.
And self-compassion starts with listening and asking yourself,
What is your body trying to tell you right now?
So let's mention the nervous system.
Your nervous system is designed to protect you and when it senses threat,
Be that real or perceived threat,
It activates.
Fight,
Flight,
Freeze or phone responses.
Parts of you might show up in response to your nervous system.
So when you find yourself lashing out,
Reactive or these parts show up or you're shutting down or avoiding or people-pleasing,
These are not signs of failure.
There are signs that a part of you is trying to stay safe.
It's not your fault,
It's your biology doing what it's wired to do.
And these responses too are also your body's wisdom.
And this wisdom asks only of your self-compassion,
To gently and kindly tend to the part of you,
That part of you that's scared,
Overwhelmed or feeling exhausted.
You may have already heard of the term window of tolerance.
I prefer to call it the window of capacity.
This refers to the range in which your nervous system feels regulated,
Grounded,
A place from which you're able to respond to life.
Perhaps when you're outside this window you might feel anxious,
Numb,
Reactive,
Foggy or disconnected.
Self-compassion means exploring where you are right now in your window.
Where are you right now?
Are you inside that window or are you out on the edge of that window?
How wide is your window these days?
And what helps you come back into your window gently and slowly?
These are all questions that you can perhaps use at those moments when you're noticing a felt sense of discomfort in some way.
And you can explore with curiosity and compassion.
Your body wisdom is telling you what your body needs,
What it needs to do,
What it needs to do,
What it needs to do,
What it needs to do,
What it needs to do.
The good news is that you can build your nervous system capacity.
You can widen that window of tolerance,
That window of capacity over time using gentle regular practices,
Somatic practices or meditation perhaps.
You can begin to get curious about exploring this by asking yourself,
What do I do that helps me feel safe,
Feel grounded,
Feel alive?
Maybe it's placing a hand on your heart in that moment.
Or moving your body in some way.
Maybe it's journaling,
Breathing deeply or finding a space in nature.
Your body wisdom knows what it needs if you deeply listen to it.
As we come to an end of this short talk,
I'd just like you to consider and remind you that your body and mind wisdom are always present,
Always quietly awaiting you to listen and explore.
And the more you listen,
The more clearly you will hear the call of compassion from your wiser self.
You don't need to earn your right to rest.
And you don't need to be perfect to be worthy of care and compassion.
So my invitation to you is to invite a sense of meeting yourself with a greater softness.
And may your body and mind wisdom become the source of your deepest,
Wisest,
Most compassionate self.
Thank you for listening.
