The four elements of true love.
In the teachings of the Buddhism,
There are four elements of true love.
And especially on days when it feels like the love is not very present in our lives,
It helps to remember what those elements are.
And maybe all of a sudden,
You can see them around you.
You remember how to identify them within yourself.
And you let them flow freely out into the world.
The four types are metta,
Which is loving kindness,
Karuna,
Which is compassion,
Mudita,
Which is joy,
And upeksha,
Which is equanimity.
Let's begin with metta.
The practice of loving kindness teaches us to first remember that we are worthy of our own love,
That we get to wish ourselves well.
You can do this by affirmations.
For example,
May I be well,
May I be healthy,
May I be at ease,
May I feel peaceful.
And then you can wish it to a loved one.
May you be well,
May you be healthy,
May you be at ease,
May you feel peaceful,
May you be content.
And then you move on to people that you know.
Maybe you put in some well wishes for someone you find challenging.
And then you send out your well wishes for the entire world.
And if you spend only two to five minutes of this loving kindness practice,
You may feel tremendously elevated.
You may feel the positive benefits of loving kindness within your own body,
And you will see them resonate around you.
Setting the intention of well wishing is a powerful start into the day.
The second element is karuna,
Compassion.
Compassion means that I can hold space for someone.
It is not the same as empathy.
Empathy means feeling with someone,
Whereas compassion makes sure that you don't take on that emotion.
Someone says,
I'm here for you,
I hold space for you.
I feel compassion for what you're going through.
I get that it is really hard what you are going through.
Offering somebody compassion and holding space without giving any advice is tremendously beneficial both for the person that you might be holding space for,
As well as for you to develop your capacity to be there and care for others without imposing any of your own opinions or beliefs.
And allowing ourselves compassion for other people around us increases our capacity for giving that same compassion to ourselves when we feel that we have failed or have fallen short.
The third element of true love is mudita,
Joy.
We can experience mudita for ourselves when we see something that fills us with joy,
Whether it is the smile on somebody's face,
Hearing a little bird chirping,
Or finding some joy in movement.
We can also feel mudita for others,
Joy for things going well in their life,
Joy for celebrating them and their achievements,
Joy for things playing out well for them,
Joy for their ease and contentment.
And it amplifies when we can celebrate mudita together.
The fourth element is upeksha,
Equanimity.
Equanimity is one that I have struggled with in the past because I thought it may mean to not feel much anymore at all.
And that is not what it means.
Equanimity means I don't become attached to these feelings.
I feel the feelings as they come through.
I allow the world to affect me,
Knowing that these effects will continue to change always.
There will be ones that I experience as very positive and joyful,
And there will be ones that I experience as negative and maybe sad.
And all of them will pass eventually.
So equanimity means that I allow myself to be in the world and be part of everything,
Knowing that it will continue to change.
These four elements of true love allow us to set the stage and develop the capacity for holding tremendous amounts of love.
Metta,
Loving-kindness,
Karuna,
Compassion,
Mudita,
Joy,
And upeksha,
Equanimity.
They lead us to a tremendous freedom of how we can express love,
Both towards ourselves and towards others.
And I invite you to spend a few minutes journaling where in your life you already have in practice one of those elements,
And where in your life you intend to create more of it.
Feel into this space and see what else comes up for you.
My blessings.
