We come to the practice of meditation.
Today we are practicing what I call spiritual surgery,
Or moving into presence,
Moving towards our pain or suffering rather than away from it.
So come to a comfortable seated position or lying position so that you can move fully and deeply into the body.
Be attentive to a part in your body that causes you pain,
Discomfort,
Disease.
We call this a kaivagunya.
This is a weak or defective spot in the body,
Or perhaps it has an emotional charge,
A sense of anxiety and energy behind it.
It could be tightness in head,
Neck,
Jaw,
Ringing of the ears,
Tightness of the eyes.
It's a regular place in our body where we feel discomfort.
It could be heart palpitations,
A tight chest,
Disturbed digestion,
Pain in the lower back.
Wherever you tend to experience this weakness or defectiveness or charge in your body,
We call this your kaivagunya in Ayurveda.
And we enter into this rather than move away from it.
Sometimes we want to avoid our discomfort,
Our pain,
Physical,
Emotional,
Psychic,
Mental.
And so we tend to choose activities that hide us or hide the pain.
This could be exercise,
Use of alcohol,
Drugs,
Illegal or legal,
Relationships,
Addictive thinking.
We try and move away from the present moment.
And yet what we're asking you to do here is move towards it.
Move deeply into this space.
Feel into the charge.
Be aware of the spaciousness,
The consciousness,
The being,
The witnesser,
The observer,
The perceiver behind the charge,
The weak spot.
The kaivagunya.
Breathe into it,
Feel into it.
Try not to think or overanalyze or query its existence.
Rather,
You're getting comfortable with discomfort.
And so you don't seek an external object to take you away from the moment,
Which you perceive perhaps as painful.
But if we really,
Truly mindfully sit with this discomfort,
Is it really as painful as we think?
If it is,
The possibility of sitting with it allows us to transmute it rather than avoiding it through addictive thinking,
Behaviors or avoidant strategies.
Move deeper.
The spiritual surgery idea comes when we move so deeply into the spaciousness or the beingness that sits underneath this weakness or this amalgamation of energy or this anxiety that we sort of are able to see through it.
It's just a mental and physical formation on the screen of consciousness or the essence of being or presence.
And in turning to look at it,
It loses its charge.
We don't act out of fear or pain or the want to reduce any suffering because we're OK with sitting with it.
And if we aren't OK,
Then we have the power to create change.
So you have two choices.
Accept it fully.
Be totally with it.
And then from that acceptance,
You can enact change if you wish.
And as you sit here,
Be mindful.
All addictions arise from pain.
All addictions end in pain.
But when we sit with this weakness,
This part of our body that we perhaps avoid or dislike.
We really see that our belief in the past or the past or in our body is causing the pain.
And that our belief in a future salvation causes more friction and suffering.
So if we can really sit here and now,
Then there is no future and there is no past.
And the mental addictive cycles dissolve.
If we can do this,
We dissolve our pain and we don't attack others from that place of pain and suffering.
Be more curious.
Move in deeper.
Feel,
Breathe,
Use the breath.
Breathing in deeply to that region of the body.
Kaiva means alone.
It also means liberation.
So you're moving into that aloneness or that weak spot or that deficit.
And as you move towards that aloneness,
That deficit,
In a way you fill it with consciousness,
Light transmuting it.
And therefore,
As we face the fear of the pain,
Sit alongside it,
Beneath it,
All around it,
We become liberated from it.
Be compassionate to this discomfort,
This charge,
This angst or mental anguish.
By doing this,
All addictive behaviors may dissolve.
The more present you become,
Not seeking future salvation in a future that hasn't happened,
Or avoiding past pain,
The likelihood of addictive cycles begin to cease.
And you become free.
Free of the past and the future.
Compassionate to the present moment,
Here and now,
Which is all we ever truly have.
May you be free.
May you be free.
May you be free.
