Hi and welcome to this self-compassion meditation for parents.
This meditation is tailored to cultivate compassion and forgiveness.
I know all too well how it feels to be hard on yourself after you've responded to your children or your child in a way that you are not proud of.
I know all too well how it feels to be dysregulated when met with challenging behaviors from your children.
I know all too well how shame feels after shouting or speaking unkindly to your children.
This meditation is for anyone that feels or has felt the same.
Let's begin by finding a comfortable seat.
Allow your body to relax and find your center of gravity.
Notice if you're leaning towards one side or the other.
Notice if you're leaning back or forward.
Bring your awareness to your brow and your jaw.
See if you can find some softness.
Bring your awareness to your shoulders.
Let them feel heavy as they fall and relax.
Gently place your palms facing up on your knees or if you'd like you can place one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly.
If it's comfortable for you today,
Allow your eyes to close or allow them to get heavy and softly gaze down a few inches in front of you.
As you gently begin to breathe in and out through your nose,
I'm going to invite you to bring your attention to a situation with your children that may have felt or may feel difficult or uncomfortable.
If this is the first time you're practicing this meditation,
Try not to make the situation overwhelmingly difficult.
Start to get in touch with the situation.
Begin to relive what happened or who said what.
Really try and let yourself feel all the emotions that you had felt.
Really picture every detail to what you were wearing if you can remember.
Perhaps you're dealing with one of your children's challenging behaviors and you're worried about what will happen in the future.
Paint a picture of your worries.
Think about what may happen or you could turn your attention to a moment where you didn't respond in the best way or in a way that you're very proud of.
I'm going to now take you through the three elements of self-compassion with a few affirmations.
The first affirmation I'd like you to quietly repeat aloud or in your mind is this is a moment of suffering.
This is a moment of suffering.
And I invite you now to find your own language to validate your feelings around this situation.
Perhaps saying something like this is really hard for me right now or this is a terrible situation.
Use this moment of mindfulness to observe your thoughts and feelings as they are,
Without judgment,
Without trying to suppress or deny them,
With openness and clarity.
Observe your thoughts and feelings here without criticism.
Moving on to our next affirmation.
Quietly repeating aloud or in your mind,
Suffering and making mistakes is a part of life.
Suffering and making mistakes is a part of life.
And now I invite you to find your own words I am not alone in my imperfections.
Reminding yourself that pain is something all human beings have in common.
You are vulnerable and imperfect.
You are human after all.
Expressing big feelings and making mistakes is part of the shared human experience,
Part of the shared parenting experience.
These are things all things parents go through,
Not something that happens to just you or me alone.
Now quietly repeating in your mind,
May I be kind to myself in this moment.
May I be kind to myself in this moment.
Find your own words now to affirm self-kindness and compassion.
And if you find it challenging to come up with any words here,
Speak to yourself as though you were speaking to your child or a loved one who was hurting.
Would you be speaking to them with judgment or with kindness?
I am a good mother despite my mistakes.
As you feel that kindness flowing through your body,
Notice your breath,
Notice your jaw.
See if as you breathe in and out you can soften it.
Soften your brow,
Relax your shoulders.
See if you can find a little more softness as you practice this self-compassion.
Now go back to thinking about that difficult situation and as you think about it,
Intentionally invite the possibility of self-love,
Self-compassion and self-kindness.
Intentionally invite in empathy.
Ask yourself what can I give myself the same compassion in this moment that I would give my child if they were feeling pain or shame.
Continue to feel the flow of loving-kindness from the center of your heart,
Breathing in,
Breathing out,
Letting that flow through your whole body.
You deserve to be free of suffering.
You deserve to be happy.
You are a good parent despite the mistakes you have made and will continue to make along the way.
Parenting is hard and that's okay.
You deserve to be loved.
Take a moment to notice how good this feels in your body.
Perhaps it's drawing up the corners of your mouth and you're feeling a smile.
Allow yourself to smile.
Allow yourself to feel that love and that compassion.
Thank yourself for being a supportive and caring friend to yourself and thank yourself for being a good parent to your children.
Now take a deep cleansing breath in through your nose and as you breathe out let it go and set it free.
Taking another deep breath in and as you exhale once again setting free what no longer serves you.
One more deep breath in and on the exhale letting it all go.
Quietly repeating our final affirmation.
The love I give to others I also give to myself.
I am worthy of divine love.
Now if it feels right open your eyes and bring yourself back to the present moment.
I invite you and encourage you to come back to this practice when life feels overwhelming,
If parenting feels heavy,
Or whenever you need a reminder to practice self-compassion.
Namaste.
