Mindful Parenting: Mindsets For Stronger Connections

This talk is a transformative discourse guiding parents to cultivate deeper connections with their children. By prioritising empathy, fostering independence, and cherishing quality time, this talk empowers parents to navigate the complexities of parenthood with grace and intentionality. Through mindful shifts in mindset, parents can embrace the challenges of raising resilient children while nurturing loving and lasting relationships.

Transcript

Hello and welcome.

I'm Bessie and I'm excited to guide you through today's talk on mindful parenting.

Today we're going to explore five powerful strategies to connect deeply with your children.

By prioritizing empathy,

Fostering independence,

And cherishing quality time,

You can navigate the complexities of parenthood with grace and intentionality.

These strategies have been transformative for me personally.

As someone who was raised with a do as I say,

Not as I do mentality,

I've had to learn and adapt to become a more mindful parent.

I am by no means saying that this is easy or that there's any form of perfection in it.

It is a practice.

It is not meant to be perfected.

I've seen firsthand how these approaches have helped me build stronger connections with my children and navigate challenging moments with greater ease.

And now I'm really excited to share these insights with you so you too can foster loving and resilient relationships with your children.

So let's begin exploring these strategies and learning how to embrace mindful parenting with an open heart and intentionality.

Feel free to grab your journal.

There'll be moments where you can pause this video to reflect and write down your thoughts.

So let's get started.

Number one,

Prioritize empathy.

Empathy is the cornerstone of meaningful connection.

When we make an effort to understand our children's feelings and perspectives,

We validate their experiences and build trust.

Growing up,

Many of us were raised with a do as I say,

Not as I do mentality.

Our parents loved us,

But they didn't have the tools to regulate their own emotions or model empathy effectively.

It by no means was their fault.

They did the best they could with what they had.

But for us,

Now we have the opportunity to do things a little bit differently.

So here's a couple ways that we can prioritize empathy.

Number one,

Active listening.

Really listening.

Make a conscious effort to give your full attention to your child when they speak.

This means putting away distractions,

Making eye contact,

And showing genuine interest.

For example,

If your child is telling you about their day,

Resist the urge to multitask or check your phone.

Show them that their words matter to you.

Five minutes of connection and uninterrupted time with your child is so much more valuable than an hour playing a board game where you're pulled to make dinner or you're pulled to another conversation or something on your phone or an email.

So active listening is really,

Really important and it doesn't have to be in huge chunks of time.

Number two,

Reflective responses.

Instead of jumping in with advice or judgments,

Try just reflecting back what you hear.

If your child says,

I had a bad day at school today,

You might respond,

It sounds like today was really tough for you.

Do you want to talk about what happened?

The simple act of reflecting shows that you understand and care about their feelings.

Take a moment here to jot down in your journal a recent conversation you had with your child.

Talk about how you showed empathy and how did it affect your connection.

Feel free to pause the video here and come back when you're ready.

Number two,

Cherish quality time.

This just rolls from number one,

Spending quality time with your children strengthens your bond and creates lasting memories.

It's not about the quantity of time like I said before,

But the quality of interactions.

Think about how our parents often balance work and family life.

Many of us might remember moments when they were physically present but mentally elsewhere and not just our parents,

Our generation of parents might be even worse with this digital world that we're all living in.

We now with the power of knowledge have the chance to create a different experience for our kids.

How can we do this?

How can we cherish quality time?

Number one,

Scheduled one-on-one time.

My husband and I get pulled in three different directions with our three children so this really works for us.

Set aside regular dedicated time each week for individual activities with each child.

This could be as simple as a weekly walk in the park,

Playing a game together,

Or having a special breakfast.

It doesn't have to be a full day dedicated to one child.

I am not blind to the fact with three children of my own that time is very precious,

Especially if you have particularly young children,

But this one-on-one time is invaluable and lets your child know they are a priority in your life.

Next,

Be fully present.

Again,

Can't stress this enough during these moments,

Be fully present.

Turn off your phone,

Avoid multitasking,

And focus entirely on your child.

This presence shows them that they are valued and important.

For instance,

If you're building a puzzle together,

Engage in the activity wholeheartedly asking questions and sharing the experience.

Pause and think about the last quality time with you spent with your child and write down how you can be more present in those moments.

Feel free to pause the video here and come back when you're ready.

Number three in how to build stronger connections with your children is foster independence.

Encouraging your child's independence helps them develop confidence and self-reliance,

And it also shows that you trust and believe in their abilities.

Reflecting on our own upbringing,

Many of us were taught to follow strict rules without much room for autonomy,

And we can empower our children by fostering their independence in a supportive environment.

So how do we do that?

Offer choices.

Allow your child to make age-appropriate choices,

Whether it's picking out their clothes,

Deciding what to eat to lunch,

Or choosing a family activity.

Giving them a say fosters independence and decision-making skills.

For example,

You might say,

Would you like to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt today?

The simple choice makes them feel empowered.

You can also encourage problem solving.

When your child faces a challenge,

Guide them to come up with solutions instead of providing immediate answers.

Now this is so hard.

We don't want to see them uncomfortable.

We don't want to fix everything.

But rather than jumping to the fix-it,

Ask questions like,

What do you think you can do to solve this?

This encourages critical thinking and self-reliance.

And if they're struggling with homework,

Instead of solving the problem for them,

Ask guiding questions that help them arrive at the answer themselves.

Reflect on a recent situation where you helped your child make a choice or solve a problem.

Write down how fostering their independence benefited them.

Once again,

You can pause,

Write down your thoughts,

Take all the time you need,

And come back when you're ready.

Number four,

Practice positive reinforcement.

Positive reinforcement helps children understand what behaviors are desirable and builds their self-esteem.

I refer to our generation a lot,

But our generation grew up often with a focus on what we did wrong rather than what we did right.

By shifting to positive reinforcement,

We can help our children feel appreciated and motivated.

So how do we do this?

Acknowledge efforts.

Recognize and praise your child's efforts,

Not just their achievements.

For instance,

If they've been working hard on a school project,

Acknowledge their dedication regardless of the outcome.

You might say,

I'm really proud of how much effort you've put into this project.

You worked so hard on it.

And then celebrate the small wins.

Celebrate the small victories in their day-to-day life.

Whether they've learned to tie their shoes or help set the table,

Showing appreciation for these efforts boosts their confidence and motivation.

A simple,

Great job setting the table,

It looks wonderful,

Can make a huge difference.

And hot tip,

This works with friends,

With partners,

With co-workers as well.

So take a moment to write down a recent instance where you used positive reinforcement.

How did you impact your child's behavior and self-esteem?

Number five,

Model mindfulness and self-regulation.

Children learn a lot by observing their parents.

Modeling mindfulness and self-regulation teaches them how to manage their own emotions and behavior.

And like I said at the beginning of this talk,

Many of us were raised by parents who didn't have the tools for self-regulation and we often witnessed reactions rather than responses.

This is the key.

It's about creating space between how you're feeling and your response.

It is important to remember that our parents did their best.

I am obviously speaking from my own personal experience,

But now I have the opportunity and we all have the opportunity to provide a different model for our children.

You can do this by practicing mindful breathing together.

Take a few minutes each day to practice mindful breathing with your child.

This can be a calming activity that you both look forward to and helps them develop a habit of mindfulness.

This really comes in handy in those high emotional moments.

Practicing it in a calm moment,

A couple minutes a day,

Will help that kick in when you really need it when emotions are high.

You might say,

Let's take a moment to breathe together and calm our minds and just guide them through inhaling and exhaling.

Another way to model mindfulness and self-regulation is to show self-regulation.

None of us are perfect.

We are going to lose our bananas from time to time.

One,

It's important to acknowledge that we're human and we've made a mistake.

It's important to demonstrate how to handle stress and frustration in a healthy way.

If you're feeling overwhelmed,

You can talk through it.

Explain what you're doing to calm down,

Whether it's taking deep breaths,

Going for a walk,

Or talking about your feelings.

There's also nothing wrong with saying,

I'm not ready to share my calm with you right now,

And taking a break.

If you've lost your bananas,

You can say,

I'm sorry.

Can I please have a do-over?

If you've caught yourself before exploding,

You might say,

I'm feeling a bit stressed,

So I'm going to take a few breaths to help me feel better.

Take a moment here to pause and reflect how you model self-regulation for your child.

Write down a specific example and its effect on your child.

This can be positive or negative.

It doesn't matter.

This isn't somewhere where you need to judge yourself.

Take a moment to pause the video here and come back when you're ready.

By incorporating these five strategies,

Prioritizing empathy,

Cherishing quality time,

Fostering independence,

Practicing positive reinforcement,

And modeling mindfulness,

You can create a deeper,

More meaningful connection with your children.

And it's so important to remember mindful parenting is not about perfection,

But about being present and intentional with your interactions.

Embrace this journey with an open heart,

And you might see your relationship with your children flourish.

Thank you for joining me today.

I hope these insights inspire you to cultivate stronger connections and nurture loving,

Resilient relationships with your children.

Feel free to revisit this talk or your journal notes and reflect on your progress as you continue this journey.

Thank you.

Namaste.