This is the Fierce Self-Compassion Break developed by Kristin Neff to capture the young,
Firm,
Fierce elements of self-compassion that help us stand up and protect ourselves when we need to.
Think of a situation in your life where you feel you need to protect yourself.
You need to draw some boundaries or stand up for yourself.
Maybe you're feeling taken advantage of or that you're being treated unfairly.
Perhaps you feel there's something happening in the world that's unjust and you want it to stop.
But maybe something in your own life just isn't working for you and you need to speak up.
Please choose a situation where you feel mildly to moderately threatened,
But not in real danger or emotionally overwhelmed.
This is the way that we can best learn a new skill without getting overwhelmed.
Call up the situation in your mind's eye,
Visualizing it.
What's happening?
What's going on?
Who's involved?
As you go along,
Taking good care of yourself,
Noticing any emotions or sensations that arise and seeing if you could allow yourself to feel,
To listen to whatever emotions are arising within you,
Perhaps anger or fear,
Frustration,
Resentment,
Anxiety.
Seeing if you can let it come up.
Seeing yourself to make contact with the discomfort you're feeling in your body as a physical sensation.
Then you're going to bring in the three components of self-compassion so that you can stand up and take action as you need to.
First,
Taking a breath and saying slowly to yourself and with conviction,
I can clearly see what's happening.
I see how I truly feel about this.
That's mindfulness.
We see things as they are.
Other words you might use are,
This is not okay for me.
This is not working for me.
Or perhaps,
I'm not safe here.
This is unfair.
I need to do something.
First noticing and validating the experience that you're having.
Taking a breath and also saying to yourself,
I am not going through this alone.
I am standing alongside others.
That's common humanity.
We draw strength from our brotherhood and sisterhood with other human beings.
We can derive courage from knowing that what we're experiencing is part of being human.
Perhaps saying to yourself,
What I'm feeling,
What I'm going through is part of living as a human being.
And I have the right,
The human right to stand up and say no if I need to.
Other options might be,
I'm not a victim.
I am empowered.
Or all human beings deserve just and fair treatment.
Any words,
Any energy that helps you to recognize yourself as a human being,
Living a human life.
And now,
Placing a fist gently over your heart with the knuckles down in contact with your chest as a gesture of strength and power.
Saying to yourself,
I will protect myself.
That's self kindness.
We are firm and fierce in our commitment to drawing boundaries and protecting ourselves from being harmed.
Our kindness can become courage.
Other options for what you say to yourself might be,
I will speak up.
I will take whatever action is necessary to defend myself or to be there for myself or to prevent this from happening.
Or maybe just something as simple as stop.
Whatever words feel right to you.
If you're having difficulty finding the right words,
Come back to the feeling of your gentle fist and imagine that someone you really care about was experiencing the same thing.
Perhaps they're being mistreated or taken advantage of.
Perhaps they're just in a situation that isn't working for them.
What would you say to this dear person to help them feel courageous?
Be strong to help them stand up or speak up to have fortitude?
Would you offer this same courageous message to yourself?
Finally,
Placing your other hand tenderly over your fist and holding it gently.
This is an invitation to combine the young energy of fierce,
Empowered self compassion of clear seeing and courage with the yin energy of loving,
Connected presence.
Giving yourself full permission to feel the force of your young,
Your anger,
Your resolve,
Your truth,
But to also feel the care and love.
Aiming your fierce compassion at the harm or the injustice or the situation itself.
Not at the person or the people you feel are causing this harm.
They are human beings too.
They're a human being.
Can you access your young energy to commit to taking some action,
Even a tiny step,
While at the same time keeping the thread of caring alive within you?
Thinking if you could allow both of these energies to flow within you.
Letting go of the fierce self compassion break now and just taking a moment to rest quietly in your own body.
Just noticing however the practice has been for you.
Seeing if you could allow it to be however it's been for you.
See if you can give yourself permission to be just as you are.
Just like this.
