Lovingkindness

This mediation is helpful to do when you feel angry or depressed, but you can also do it when you are wanting to cultivate a sense of happiness. The more you practice this, the more you will see changes in your well-being.

Transcript

This practice is known as loving kindness or metta meditation.

It is thousands of years old and it originated in the Indo-Tibetan traditions.

It is especially helpful to do this practice when we feel angry.

Just like any practice,

We must keep coming back to it in order to reap the benefits.

One time alone will not be enough.

The more you are able to practice,

You will begin to notice big changes in your sense of happiness.

I will guide you through it and at the end my voice will let you know that we have come to the stopping point.

Let's begin.

Become comfortable in your chair or cushion.

You can sit with straight relaxed posture,

Your shoulders relaxed,

Or you can also do this meditation laying down.

The most important thing to know is that it's really helpful to be very comfortable.

Allow your hands to rest comfortably in your lap or if you're laying down gently place them by your side.

Close your eyes,

Settling into awareness of the body and the breath,

Feeling into our body right now,

Noticing what's here.

Open to whatever is to be experienced in the body in this moment.

If you can,

Try to bring a sense of curiosity,

Wondering about,

Yeah,

What's going on in my body right now?

What is the quality of my breath like?

Connect to the breath.

Notice the wave-like movements of the belly.

If you're noticing your chest move more than your belly,

Simply pause and move to diaphragmatic breathing or belly breaths.

Whereas you inhale,

Your belly expands like there's a balloon and when you exhale,

The belly deflates.

In this practice,

We'll be cultivating loving-kindness.

We all have within us this natural capacity for loving-kindness.

Think of loving-kindness like love,

Friendship that is unconditional and open,

Gentle,

Supportive.

Loving-kindness or love is a natural opening of a compassionate heart to ourselves and to others.

It is a wish that everyone be happy.

We begin with developing loving-kindness towards ourselves.

This can be very difficult for some of us,

But this is where we start no matter where we are.

Allow our hearts to open with tenderness.

Now allow yourself to remember and open up to your basic goodness.

You might remember times you have been kind or generous.

You might recall your natural desire to be happy and not to suffer.

If acknowledging your own goodness is difficult,

Look at yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you.

What does that person love about you?

Or you may recall the unconditional love you felt from a beloved pet.

It may help to use the imagination and to picture yourself as a young child standing before you,

Perhaps four or five years of age.

If that allows tender feelings of kindness to flow more easily.

And as you experience this love,

Notice how you feel in your body.

Maybe you feel some warmth or heat in the face,

And relaxing in the shoulders,

A smile,

A sense of expansiveness.

This is loving-kindness,

A natural feeling that is accessible to all of us always.

Sometimes it just takes a little bit more effort to get there.

Resting with this feeling of open unconditional love for a few minutes.

If your mind wanders,

Simply come back to your breath and feel into the bodily sensations or the warmth you felt when you thought about your own kindness.

Notice when the mind wanders off and smile.

This is what minds do and it's okay.

Come back to your breath again.

Feel into the warmth.

Letting yourself bask in the energy of loving-kindness,

Breathing it in and breathing it out.

Inviting feelings of peace and acceptance.

So beginning now to wish yourself well by extending words of loving-kindness to yourself.

I'll be offering a guidance with phrases that I've chosen in my own practice.

You are invited to alter these phrases and choose whatever words express your wishes of loving-kindness towards yourself and others.

And now as I read the words,

Offer them in your mind for yourself.

As I read it,

You can say it silently to yourself in your mind.

May I be filled with loving-kindness.

May I be held in loving-kindness.

May I feel connected and calm.

May I accept myself just as I am.

May I be happy.

May I be safe.

May I be free from suffering.

May I know the natural joy of being alive.

Now you can open the circle of loving-kindness by bringing to mind someone who is dear to you.

Someone whom you care about and who has always been supportive.

Reflect on this person's basic goodness sensing what is in particular that you love about them.

In your heart,

Feel your appreciation for this dear one and begin your simple offering.

May you be filled with loving-kindness.

May you be held in loving-kindness.

May you feel my love now.

May you accept yourself just as you are.

May you be happy.

May you be safe.

May you be free from suffering.

May you know the natural joy of being alive.

Now bring to mind a neutral person.

This is someone you might see regularly but you don't know well.

Might be a neighbor,

A grocery store clerk,

Someone whom you have neutral feelings towards.

Bring this person to mind now and repeat the words of loving-kindness.

May you be filled with loving-kindness.

May you be held in loving-kindness.

May you feel my love now.

May you accept yourself just as you are.

May you be happy.

May you know the natural joy of being alive.

May you be safe.

May you be free from suffering.

And now if it's possible for you,

If it feels accessible,

Bring to mind someone with whom you've had a difficult relationship.

Sometimes this can start to stir up emotions and their mind can run off into the story,

Which are the thoughts about this other person,

The situation we've been in with them.

As best you can,

Notice that those are just thoughts.

You can get back to them later if you really want to.

But right now you're training your mind for your own well-being and for the well-being of others.

Focus on the breath.

Come back to that anytime you find your mind wandering off and it will because that's what minds do.

Now perhaps this difficult person is someone you don't like to feel sympathy or compassion for.

Seeing if it's possible to let go of feelings of resentment and dislike for this person.

Reminding yourself to see this person as a whole being.

It may not look like it but they are deeply suffering because they're a sentient being.

They too want to be loved.

They want to feel safe.

They struggle.

They also deserve love and kindness.

They are someone who feels pain and anxiety.

They worry even if it doesn't look like it.

They cry.

They miss people.

Some days they struggle just to get through the day.

They are trying to figure out how to be happy and maybe they're not doing it in the way that you would like them to or maybe they've tried to figure it out in a way that's been harmful to you or harmful to other people you love.

The amazing thing about you and the strength that you have is that you can hold both of these truths at the same time.

That this person has caused harm and that they want to be happy.

They want to be safe and they want to be free from suffering.

Challenge your mind here.

Hold both truths at the same time.

This is part of mind training and it is the key to unlocking your own happiness.

Now see if it's possible to extend to this person the words of loving kindness in your mind.

May you be filled with loving kindness.

May you be held in loving kindness.

May you feel my love now.

May you accept yourself just as you are.

May you be happy.

May you know the natural joy of being alive.

May you be safe.

May you be free from suffering.

Remember happy people,

People at peace,

Do not harm others.

If this person has harmed you or others it is because they are suffering.

Good.

Now allow your awareness to open out in all directions above you,

Below you to the sides of you.

Yourself,

You are a dear one.

Now think about the neutral person and the difficult person and of all beings,

Humans and animals living everywhere on the globe.

Living in richness,

Poverty,

War,

Peace,

Hunger,

Abundance.

Be aware of all the joys and sorrows that all beings experience.

Hold it all.

Hold seemingly opposing truths.

Now repeat after me.

May all beings be filled with loving kindness.

May all beings be happy.

May all beings awaken and be free.

May all beings be happy.

And now bringing this practice to a close by coming back to extend kindness to yourself.

Bask in the energy of whatever is present for you right now.

Sometimes in this practice,

Many times in fact,

Maybe we don't feel loving kindness even after we've done the exercise.

That's okay.

Whatever painful emotion is here,

That's okay.

Just be with it.

Don't attach to the story but stay close to the physical sensations in the body and offer those sensations love,

Warmth and compassion.

Good.

Now you're going to take a moment and dedicate the goodness that you cultivated right now to your own happiness and you're going to dedicate it to one person who needs it.

Beautiful.

This is the end of the meditation.

Reviews

This was perfect for me today. Thank you.