The Goodness Gained By Letting Go - Dissolving Our Defects

A meditation to let go of what doesn’t serve you. Often we want this journey through life to be one of addition- of us becoming “more” of certain qualities as we grow. Yet sometimes what we most need to do in order to progress, is to remove the aspects of our behaviour that don't serve us. We will sit with compassion to identify these and look to live to work with us to remove the things that hold us back. May support step 7 & suitable for all who dare to look deeply as a commitment to change

Transcript

Sometimes we want this journey through life to be one of addition,

Of us becoming more of something or other as we go through life.

Maybe we want our meditation or our mindfulness practice to bring us more of certain qualities.

Perhaps we want to be more wise,

Calm,

Kind,

More spiritual,

More soulful or similar.

And yes,

As we practice all of these things may certainly grow.

And yet sometimes what we most need to do in order to grow is to remove our shortcomings.

And by shortcomings I mean looking at any aspect of our behavior that doesn't serve us,

That gets in the way of our growing,

Our loving and our living well.

There are times we may need to shed things,

To do things differently,

To stop what doesn't serve.

And we may need to let go of these things way more than we're attempting to add things to our lives or to our personalities.

Sometimes I wonder that what if the math that matters most in the process of growth is subtraction,

Not addition?

Is the things we take away our reactiveness,

Our responsiveness,

Our self-sabotage?

There doesn't have to be self-blame in this notion of letting go things that don't serve us.

Rather than see things as a defect,

We can simply see this as a signal we need to make some changes.

Once we own that something is ours,

Then change is the natural next step.

It is denial of what we're doing that doesn't serve us that causes us the trickiness.

So when we speak about what's less than ideal,

In the ways we go through our life,

Some space opens up.

There is a chance for change to come.

There is the possibility of doing things differently,

Of living wiser and with more wild grace,

With more goodness in our lives.

It is brave to look at ourselves and see ourselves clearly,

To claim what is good in our life and to resolve to let go of what doesn't serve us.

Sometimes we just need to get really honest and humble about our humanness and own the things that we do that don't serve ourselves or the people around us.

There's absolutely no blame or shame in these behaviors.

They're simply things that we learn to do growing up that may no longer serve us in our current life situations.

Some traditions speak of asking life or our own psyche or the process or God or some other mysterious something greater than us to work with us,

To remove these things that don't serve us.

So let us do a practice period,

Asking life to work with us,

To remove these behaviors that get in our way,

That self-sabotage us.

Saddle into your seat.

Take a deep breath and sigh it out.

Soften.

If it feels comfortable to do so,

Close your eyes.

Let your shoulders drop.

Let your jaw drop.

Let your belly expand.

Let your expectations of yourself being perfect drop.

Take another deep breath.

Feel the surface you're sitting on,

The support underneath you.

Allow yourself to settle,

To slow down.

Think into the sensations of the body.

Sitting,

Breathing.

Bring some sense of kindness to this moment.

Invite in a sense of compassion and care for yourself,

For all that you've been through,

All that you've lived through.

Bring to mind a behavior,

Something that you do,

That no longer serves you.

We could call it a defect of character.

We could call it a worn-out habit.

We could call it those moments when we don't know why we do it,

But we kind of wish we wouldn't.

It's okay to be a mystery to ourselves sometimes.

We're both deeply self-responsible,

And sometimes end up with behaviors from our culture and conditioning that we wish we didn't have.

And some willingness to let this behavior go,

This thing that doesn't serve you go.

See if you can be open to that happening,

That you don't have to struggle or strive for it,

That you can ask for help in letting it go.

As you sit,

Speak out loud or quietly in your mind that which you would like to be removed.

That aspect of your behavior that you'd like dropped,

Dissolved,

Gone.

Own it.

Imagine that you have done this thing,

And that it no longer serves you.

And ask for this to be removed from you,

For you.

Ask humbly and heartfully for this thing to disappear,

For us to do it differently,

For us to find wonderful new ways.

Find some willingness to be changed.

Find some willingness to let good things happen,

So that we don't have to white-knuckle our way through our own improvement,

But we can have some sense of life helping us.

Expect to be supported.

Listen to this behavior changing in miraculous and strange and sweet ways.

We're working with a combination of our own choice,

By speaking our wish to do it differently,

To not do things the way we've been doing them before,

And also our willingness to be changed,

To let life support us in letting these aspects go.

Sit quietly in the space we've just created,

And the intention of what has just been spoken.

As we speak it,

We hand this aspect of ourself over to something greater than us,

To life,

To the mystery,

To our own evolution.

Trust that goodness will come.

Invite in some sense of compassion.

We can big ourselves up for the baby steps we've taken,

Honoring that each step is a choice to change in a good direction.

As you go through the rest of your day,

Honor every time you put down a self-defeating behavior and make a life-enhancing choice instead.

That is progress.

We do not have to be perfect,

We are human,

With tender hearts that sometimes hurt.

We're likely doing the best that we can,

As we navigate our hardwired habits,

As we struggle to feel fully in situations where we may not feel safe.

I bow deeply to all of our human trying to find good ways through,

All the different ways we try and get our needs met that may or may not serve us.

Cultivating kindness of vision will count for a lot as we self-reflect.

So find forgiveness for your former self as you learn new things.

Every change takes time.

Self-reflection is a brave thing to bear to be with.

This practice,

This looking at what we have been doing and seeing where we can clean up our side of the street is a place of immense personal power.

It is a way to bold and beautiful new beginnings.

What am I learning here is such a wonderful question to ask,

Because we do learn.

We refine and re-find new ways.

We own our skills,

We make better decisions.

We may not be perfect straight off,

But step by step we make choices that serve us more.

We come to develop trust in ourselves.

We get to see that we are going in a good direction.

We can praise ourselves for the progress we have made,

Rather than letting our natural negativity bias derail us by focusing only on what we are not doing or what didn't work.

So as we finish,

We will focus on the progress we have made,

On the brave step we have just taken,

Of looking to remove what doesn't serve us,

To dissolve our shortcomings,

To dare to see clearly and to seek support from the life around us that those things may be removed from us,

That we can let go what doesn't serve us.

So praise the progress you are making,

Delight in your self-reflection.

In all that you are doing to shed denial.

Honor the compassion that is being grown in the course corrections you are making.

Progress and not perfection is a fine and fabulous way forwards.

I honour your bravery,

Your willingness to look,

The ask that you have made and the stand that you are taking for a better way through this life.

Thank you for your heart,

For your practice,

For being on this path,

For taking these steps.

May all that doesn't serve you be removed.

May good and gracious things come to you today.

Be well.

Reviews

Divinely timed and beautiful. Thank you for this ❤️

May I call in what is loving and kind and let go of what no longer serves me. Yes! Thank you 🙏💜

Thank you for these wise words..came just when I needed them💕

Beautiful meditation addition to steps in the journey of life. Thank you

Lots of lovely words of encouragement to love thy self to reflect upon. 😘I am letting go of shoulding on me. I am open to all the amazing things the universe has to offer. Thank you and have an amazing day. 💖🙏🪻🌷

🙏 Tess. Kindness, energy, openness. Looking and listening deeply. These are my guideposts for today.

Thank You for your supportive meditation, it is going to help me with my task.

I gather that you, too, are trudging the road of happy destiny. It's a wonderful road to trudge, bride wonderful people.

This was a very nuanced and constructive approach to normalizing self-improvement and the universality of the need and mutual benefit for working to be better humans.

Ahhh… the sweet release of letting go and celebrating the lightness of being. Thank you!

Thank you for this refreshing and evocative perspective! I feel filled with hope and comfort. I will listen to this again and again. Blessings.

Such a sweet and beautiful meditation! I felt like I was able to simply be while letting go, thank you for guiding this practice 🧡

Amazing &
So what I needed! Thank you SO much for this💖🙌🙏

Thank you 🙏

Wow! I will listen to this again tomorrow morning. Thank you!🙏📿🧘🏻‍♀️

Thank you. This was right on time❤️

That was great!

Wonderful!💐💐Many thanks.

Really helpful in reframing a difficult entrenched dynamic. Thank you.

Thanks Tess 💖 lovely to hear your voice and wise words 🙏 needed to hear this today 😊