This is a meditation on how we can have our own balance.
Self-forgiveness,
Self-care,
Self-compassion,
Self-tenderness,
Being sweet with ourselves.
As a society we're often told to self-abandon,
To look outside of ourselves for salvation,
To shop for something,
To have a cigarette,
Drink,
To go and travel or to do something.
That that will be the thing that saves us from ourselves.
What if we do not need saving from ourselves but just to get better at being with ourselves?
What if sweet salvation is found here in moments of presence with our own precious self?
Sometimes as a society it seems that we mistakenly think that punishing ourselves is the best way to progress,
That being horrid to ourselves will hurry up our progress,
That talking mean to ourselves will somehow make us do better in life.
Sometimes if others in our history were not so good to us,
We take those voices on,
We doubt ourselves.
Sometimes we took on being mean to ourselves as a voice of motivation that we learned along the way.
The trouble with this is that if we're not kind to ourselves,
We then have to look for something or someone outside of ourselves to build ourselves back up.
If we can't find kindness within us,
We have to run around the world looking for it.
As adults life just doesn't work that way.
We need to tend to our own heart,
To our own needs.
We cannot make others responsible for our own happiness.
Yet there is a solution.
We can practice self-care,
Self-compassion.
We can learn how to back ourselves up,
To stand by ourselves,
To be with ourselves.
There is such sweetness in coming to cultivate a good relationship with our inner world,
To know that we'll always be okay because we've got our own back.
That's not to say that self-doubt or self-criticism won't ever come again,
But it does mean that we can commit to change,
To being with our lives in kind ways,
To stay true to ourselves.
It means that we can learn to stop self-abandoning and come to self-soothe instead,
To self-advocate,
To be with ourselves,
To lift ourselves up,
To tend to our own lives,
Our own hearts,
To choose a kinder inner dialogue and trust that that will impact the ways that we relate with others with more kindness,
That we can show up with others better,
Sweeter,
Softer.
Knowing that we have our own backs is an enormous gift to ourselves.
We don't have to wander through life looking for someone or something other than us to save us.
I promise you that having your own back will make you a better person,
That talking to yourself with kindness will only build you up,
Or means that you show up better for others as well as for yourself.
Having our own back is a commitment to saying to ourselves,
I will build you up and not tear you down as a basic internal dialogue.
It's a skill set that we can learn.
So let us turn towards our meditation seat for a session of practicing of being with ourselves,
Of having our own back.
So take your seat,
Take a moment to wiggle and stretch and get comfortable,
Become settled,
Rest down on the ground,
Soften your belly and if it feels okay to do so,
Close your eyes,
Come into the sense of having a body sitting here in this place.
Feel the surface that you're sitting on,
Let your weight drop some.
Notice your breathing,
Is it shallow or deep,
Fast or slow,
Just noticing what is.
Is your mind racing or are you sluggish,
Sleepy,
Just noticing.
And as you sit,
Feel where the body touches the surface underneath you,
Feel sit bones,
Pelvis,
And then feel the length of your spine rising up.
See if you can gently lengthen your spine,
Not so that you're rigidly erect,
But so that you sit a little taller within yourself.
When fear or anxiety is present,
We tend to curl over,
Look forward,
Hunch down.
Our shoulders can get tight and tense,
We curl in some.
So take this moment to lengthen,
Feel the strength of your spine,
This column of bones that holds you up,
That backs you up.
Feel the width of the back of your body too.
Take your place here,
We do not have to apologize for being,
We can sit tall,
Land in,
Take our place,
Sitting,
Breathing,
Practicing.
As you sit now,
Open the front of your chest.
Notice as our back gets stronger,
We open the front of the body a little more.
So breathe deep into your ribs,
Feel the way that they rise and fall with your breath,
And breathe into the side of your ribs,
The side of the body.
We don't tend to focus on this area so much.
Breathe into the breadth of you.
Notice that you're sitting here,
Breathing,
Practicing,
Bringing your attention to your body as best you can.
Sit,
Feel the sense of self,
Feel the part of you that touches the ground,
Knowing that getting better at being present with ourselves is learning to back ourselves up,
To show up for ourselves,
To stand with ourselves.
As you sit,
Invite in a sense of care,
And some compassion,
Some tenderness towards yourself.
And don't worry if you struggle to do this.
We live in a society that somewhat scorns these qualities.
Sometimes we need to learn how to care better,
How to be more compassionate,
How to be sweeter and softer with ourselves.
We're doing a cultivation practice,
Cultivating a sense of having our own back,
Of being with ourselves,
Of being kind to ourselves.
Let your own presence rain down on you like kindness.
Feel both the strength of the back of your body,
The softness of the front of your body,
Around the heart area,
And the way that the breath moves in and out without any effort.
Feel that you have backbone,
That you have spine,
That you have strength inside of you.
Feel that you have a structure that supports you.
No matter what the mind mutters on about,
You are here,
Embodied on earth.
You're not a mistake or a mishap,
But a precious part of this place.
Fall in love with your own sweet self.
That doesn't mean holding yourself as an object of perfectness.
But look at your life with awe.
Look at all that you have walked through,
All that you have struggled with,
All that you have overcome.
Look at your commitment to setting today,
To showing up for your practice,
To learning something new.
Look at your bravery in being with it.
I see you.
I see you in your braveness.
Fall in love with both your brilliance,
Your bravery,
And all of the mistakes that you've ever made.
All of the different things you've tried at,
Succeeded at,
Failed at,
Rethought,
Done over,
Begun again.
Fall in love with your own life,
With your own longing,
With a beautiful and baffling and big universe that is contained inside of you.
Fall in love with your own darkness and dysfunction,
Knowing that it's only the hard parts of your life history that call them into being.
Fall in love with your own dear heart and all that it yearns for,
Even though sometimes you speak to it harshly and tell it that it shouldn't want what it does want.
Fall in love with your willingness to sit and practice today.
Extend kindness towards yourself.
I see you here,
Turning towards yourself,
Looking to do it differently,
Being brave,
Daring to be with it.
I see you committing to your practice,
To your path.
We'll sit quietly,
Calling in this sense of care for ourselves,
Of compassion,
Knowing that by sitting with ourselves and being with ourselves,
We've got our own back emotionally.
I see you.
I'm with you.
You matter to me.
Your life matters.
I'm here with you.
Sit,
Breathe,
Come in close to yourself.
Sitting here,
Having our own back,
Breathing,
Cultivating care.
And if it feels right,
Speak some kindness to yourself,
Either out loud to the room or inside your own head.
Say the words to yourself that you are most yearning to hear.
Place a hand on your heart.
Feel the heat of your body.
Spine tall,
Body breathing,
Belonging to yourself,
Coming in close to yourself,
Backing yourself up with your practice,
With your own presence,
Showing care to yourself,
Kindness to yourself,
Sweetness to yourself,
Daring to be with yourself.
Meditation is so powerful because we come to know ourselves better,
To know what matters to us.
When we know ourselves,
We can interact well with others,
Speak what serves,
Set boundaries,
Negotiate.
To take this time to practice and be with ourselves is both self-care and learning to have our own back,
Knowing that as our self-care increases,
We'll be less willing to accept abuse from others or harsh treatments.
We'll speak up for ourselves skillfully.
We'll care for ourselves in wise ways.
We'll become healthier,
More heartful.
Know that feeling both the strength of our back and the tenderness of our heart opens us up to fully living this human experience,
To feeling our boldness and our brilliance and our tenderness and our sweetness,
Coming home to our own heart.
Know that this process will take time.
It will not be finished in one session.
We're looking to walk through our days with that sense of,
Hey,
I got you,
I see you.
I'll back you up.
I'm with you.
Hey,
Dear human,
I care about you.
I'm going to be good to you,
Be good with you.
Know that this process is a practice,
That we're taught to self-doubt,
To self-abandon,
To self-hate.
Know that self-love is sweet balm.
Know that you can return to this place,
To your own presence,
To sitting with yourself with kindness.
Know that your practice matters.
Thank you for taking the time.
May you be well and may you be happy and may you be free from harm and suffering.
