Many people think that emotional mastery is to be able to control your feelings.
But the truth is that we cannot control our feelings,
And attempting to control them actually leads to more distress and more discomfort.
Real emotional mastery is being okay to feel our feelings,
Whatever they may be,
And having enough space and awareness that we don't have to act them out.
Here we are simply training our ability to be with our emotional experience,
Whatever it may be.
As we train this skill,
It's not that the feelings get smaller so much as our capacity to handle them gets stronger.
What was once overwhelming becomes completely okay.
It just takes practice,
And as we practice this,
We process our feelings more quickly,
More efficiently and effectively,
And get through them quicker so they don't linger as long.
Alternatively,
You may not have overwhelming feelings.
You may feel numb or dissociated.
In this case,
We just tune into whatever sensations are present in the body and welcome them into our experience with curiosity and care,
Regardless of how mundane they may seem.
We'll start with a few deep breaths into the belly.
Feeling your posture,
Feeling your spine long,
Your chest open.
Feeling yourself expanding with the inhale.
And on the exhale,
Relax.
Soften your shoulders.
Soften whatever tension you can.
Finding this quality of ease,
Just allowing everything to be just as it is in this moment.
We'll begin by just noticing what you're feeling in this moment and welcoming those feelings.
You can tune into the center line of your body,
Feel into your abdomen and chest,
As most of our emotions are rooted here.
You may also feel emotions in your face.
Gently scan these areas,
Focusing mainly on the center line of your being,
Exploring what feelings are present.
You don't need to label what you find,
Just notice the sensations.
And can you get a sense of having an attitude towards these feelings?
Is there a judgment or avoidance?
Some part that dislikes these feelings being there.
See if you can welcome your experience.
Become each sensation.
When we feel uncomfortable,
We can start to dread how we're feeling,
Worrying that the feelings won't go away.
Do your best right now not to worry about the future,
But just see if you can be with the feelings in this moment right now.
See how clear and perceptive you can be around whatever you're feeling right now.
Noticing where the feelings are happening.
Noticing the vibrational quality to them.
Thoughts inevitably arise,
But just gently let them go and come back to the physical sensations in your body.
Even if you're feeling nothing right now,
If you're just feeling empty or solid or numb,
Notice what it's like to feel that way.
What are the sensations,
Emptiness or numbness?
Does it feel heavy,
Dense,
Full,
Empty,
Light?
Be curious about how you're experiencing it.
And just keep tracking whatever sensations are present in your body,
Whatever feelings are most obvious,
Are most grabbing your attention.
And just notice if there are also other more subtle feelings present.
Just being curious.
Feeling around in your body what other sensations are present.
If at any time the feelings are overwhelming or they feel like they're too much,
Just shift to something more stable and soothing.
You can bring your awareness into your feet and feel the sensations there.
Just doing whatever you need to to find a bit more stability and groundedness.
Just continuing to track the sensations in our body,
Notice the feelings and really validating them,
Validating our experience.
You can say to the feelings themselves,
I see you.
I hear you.
I am here with you.
Seeing if these statements of validation open up the feelings more or change them at all.
Just continuing to listen to your body,
To listen to whatever feelings are arising.
Just stay with them.
We're not trying to understand the feelings right now or think about what they feel.
What they mean or where they came from.
We're just practicing being with the sensations,
Being with our experience as it is.
Really welcoming it.
Creating our experience with an open heart.
Just reconnecting with your breath.
Nice deep,
Full,
Gentle breaths.
Just letting go of this intention of any intention at all,
Relaxing.
Noticing how this practice was for you,
What it brought up.
How listening to your body,
How welcoming the feelings changed the feelings.
And just recognizing that there's a lot to be felt.
There's a lot that we have previously avoided feeling and that only makes things more stuck.
It only leads to more difficulty and challenges in the long run.
So we do our best to welcome feelings whenever we can,
Whenever we recognize there's something to be felt.
And feeling it as much as we are capable in the moment.
Thank you for your practice.
