One step at a time.
Heather sat in her small but quite neat office staring at her to-do list on her phone.
What had started as a simple list seemed to have grown.
Each item had tasks,
Deadlines,
Expectations.
It was a real mix.
Things she needed to do for work,
Things she needed to do for other people,
Things she needed to do for herself weren't even on there.
She hadn't even added those things.
I mean if she added what she really needed to do for herself as well she'd feel even more overwhelmed.
She felt quite paralysed as she read it and actually she could feel a tightening in her chest.
She rubbed her temples to try and make herself feel better but it didn't help.
She felt almost a little bit helpless.
Why is it everyone else seems to just get it together?
She'd been reading lots of books about productivity and mindfulness lately,
Hoping to unlock the secret to feeling less frantic.
She'd even come across authors that were talking about how our thinking can be a huge impact on the way we we cope with things.
It seemed like a nice idea but practically wasn't helping.
She sighed,
Grabbed a jacket,
Opened a front door and she was in the park.
She was so lucky to have a park so close to where she lived.
She smiled to herself.
Maybe if I have a walk things will just feel easier.
The crisp air of the park greeted her as she was stepping onto the gravel path.
The trees stood really tall,
Almost like they were protecting her in some way.
She walked briskly and she noticed all the thoughts racing in her mind.
Her eyes caught a bench where an older man sat.
It looked like he was feeding some pigeons.
There was something really calm about him that intrigued her.
He didn't seem distracted or overly busy.
She lingered and grabbed a bench quite close to him.
Busy day?
The man asked,
Glancing at her kindly.
Heather laughed nervously.
You could say that.
My to-do list feels like a life sentence.
The man chuckled.
Ah yes,
To-do lists.
They're funny things really.
They tell us everything we think we need to do but they never mention anywhere that we can only do one thing at a time.
Heather blinked.
I guess that's true.
I never really thought about it like that but still my list feels overwhelming.
The man nodded,
Tossing another crumb down to his pigeon friends.
You see the feeling of overwhelm is just like this flock of pigeons in front of me.
They flap around and make loads of noise but they settle down when you stop chasing them.
Overwhelm is a signal that your mind is racing.
It doesn't mean anything about your life.
Heather frowned.
She was a bit confused.
She'd read similar ideas but she didn't really know how she could apply it.
So Heather asked the man.
Are you saying that my feelings are just alarms then?
She asked slowly.
Exactly,
The man said.
Feelings are like an alarm clock that tells us,
Hey you've got a busy mind right now and that's all they are.
You don't have to fix the alarm.
You just have to wake up to it.
Heather pondered for a moment,
Letting his words settle.
I mean she knew her mind was racing and actually on reflection she'd been wrestling with her thoughts all morning.
Maybe that was the problem.
She thanked the man for his kind words and made her way back towards her house.
She decided to try this new perspective for herself.
What if she just looked at her entire list and asked herself,
What's the one thing I can do right now in this moment?
The answer popped up easily.
She had to make a call that she'd been putting off for days.
She made the call as soon as she got home and it took five minutes.
Next she asked herself again,
What can I do next?
She decided to work on something that again she'd been putting off for some time.
She noticed as she was doing it she was quite enjoying the flow of what she was writing.
One by one the items on her list were crossed off but not in a frantic rush but more of like a flowy way.
By the end of the evening as she was making her tea she was actually quite surprised how much of the list she'd done.
But the real victory wasn't about the fact that she ticked a huge amount of her list off.
For the first time in weeks she didn't feel so overwhelmed.
The very next morning Heather sat with her morning coffee,
Again reflecting.
What if overwhelm was just a signal,
A bit like a car's dashboard light,
Letting her know that her mind is just running too fast?
She smiled,
She felt a tad lighter.
She didn't have to manage her entire life all at once.
She just had to do the next thing and then the next thing.
She glanced at her phone,
Her to-do list was waiting.
But for once it didn't scare her,
It was just the list after all and she would do it one step at a time.
I've been Becca Gardner,
Thank you for listening.
