Hi,
My name is Becca Gardner.
I was a worrier,
Control freak and an overthinker.
I used to worry about overthinking.
And I want to take you on a journey to peace of mind.
I wonder if you can relate to waking in the night.
The common time is around 3 o'clock.
This is when the chatter in our heads seems more compelling and persuasive than it is in the middle of the day.
I feel like if thoughts were little people they would move in noisy gangs holding various loud instruments,
Drums,
Maracas,
Cymbals.
You get my drift.
It can actually feel really overwhelming in the moment when the middle of the night gang turn up.
If you can relate to my words,
You are not alone.
To say it's irritating is putting it very lightly.
As I wake,
I can already sense my mind preparing the full orchestra production before it even plays out.
Being caught up in a whirlwind of thoughts and responsibilities can be really exhausting.
You may find yourself thinking about loved ones,
Wondering if they're safe and sound,
Or if they need support from you in any way.
There may be a replay of moments from the day with doubts creeping in about choices and actions taken.
Did I say the right thing?
Did I come across okay?
Did they take that the wrong way?
Conversations you've had,
Work deadlines and obligations may invade your mind as you mentally prepare for the day ahead.
And amidst it all,
There's a struggle with your own emotions and insecurities.
You may wonder if you're doing enough,
If you're even on the right path in life,
If you're worthy of happiness and fulfilment.
It's a spectrum of worries that may weigh heavily on your mind,
Making it challenging to find peace and rest in the depths of the night.
Sometimes the content of this chatter can be downright boring.
I know my mind even jumps ahead to planning meals for the week.
Not very useful in the middle of the night when my whole family are asleep.
When my daughter was little,
We watched her absolute favourite movie at the time,
Frozen.
We watched it about a million times and one of the main songs,
Ironically,
Was Let It Go.
Now this seemed to be on repeat in my head for around a month,
Around 3 o'clock in the morning when I popped to the bathroom.
Which is so ironic because I couldn't let it go.
I knew this song meant nothing about me,
It was just on repeat.
What if all the thoughts that show up in the middle of the night are just the same?
They feel compelling because they're always about us.
But in reality,
The repetitive nature of thoughts is the most impersonal thing one can experience.
There's no getting away from the fact though that this can be uncomfortable.
I want to let you in on a not-so-obvious secret.
All this uncomfortable feeling is an in-built alert system or alarm simply reminding us that we're simply believing all that our mind is telling us in the moment.
Let me say that again.
When we feel rubbish,
We are simply believing a lot of busy,
Swirly thinking.
It's so very human to experience all of this.
The racing mind and the uncomfortable feelings.
Our human experience is up for grabs when we see how the two work together and we understand the total humanness of it all.
We all work exactly the same.
Considering the direct correlation between thinking and feeling is an absolute game changer.
Notice this for yourself.
There is always less to do when we hear all this chatter than our minds would have us doing.
I want to share a metaphor that popped up in my head around this.
Around the perfect nature of letting things be.
Imagine a train station with lots of tracks going in different directions.
In the middle of the night,
Around 3am,
A very special train,
Brightly coloured red,
Chugs through the darkness.
This train,
As I mentioned,
Is special.
It's not filled with cargo,
It's filled with thoughts.
These thoughts are like passengers aboard this night train.
But here's the thing.
This train has no intention of stopping.
It's on a journey from destination evening to destination wake up time and nothing,
Not even the most compelling thought can derail it from its course.
Our job,
As the station masters of our minds,
Isn't to jump on board and chat with the passengers.
No,
Our role is simply to acknowledge the passing of the train with a gentle wave from the platform.
You see,
All the passengers on this train are fast asleep,
Snoozing away,
Not a care in the world.
If we were to board the train and wake them,
They would be groggy and disorientated.
Their words would be nonsensical mumblings in the darkness.
So instead,
We let the train pass by the station,
Knowing that our job isn't to interact with it.
It's just doing what a train does,
Moving steadily towards its next destination.
So the next time you find yourself awake in the middle of the night,
Remember this,
You are not alone.
We never truly are.
You're surrounded by a vast community of fellow middle-of-the-night wakers,
Each with a barrage of thoughts and feelings that are just there and designed to move through us.
For in the stillness of the night,
There is peace to be found in simply letting things be.
We are all navigating our own journey through the night,
And together we can find comfort in the shared experience of just being human.
The content of what we think is always changing.
Experiment with letting the night train just pass,
Because that's what night trains do.
So much more peace and calm is available when we see this more.
Thanks for listening.
I've been Becca Gardner.
