Coping As A Caregiver: Part 2, One Initial Step

In this second part of her series on caregivers, Barbara focuses on the physical toll that caregiving can take. As usual, she draws on her personal experiences and coaching expertise. In this recording, she invites listeners to take one small action of self-care with the goal of personal gain and in turn, stronger caregiving ability.

Transcript

Hello and thanks for joining me.

In case you don't know me,

My name is Barbara Brooks and I'm a certified health and life coach.

I'm also a consumer researcher,

A mother of two sons,

And unfortunately I'm a widow.

I lost my husband to cancer nine years ago,

But before he passed away,

I was his primary caregiver.

This is the second part of a series I'm presenting that focuses on caregivers.

And I want to clarify here that when I say caregiver,

I mean it quite broadly.

You could be someone caring for your children,

You could be caring for a spouse or partner,

Or you could be caring for your own parents.

No matter who you're caring for,

Though,

I'm sure you'll agree that it is an intense experience both physically and mentally.

And today I want to focus on the physical toll that caregiving takes.

When I think back to caring for my husband,

I remember the days before he was sick.

And we were truly 50-50 in terms of splitting household and child-rearing chores.

We both worked full-time,

So this seemed fair and it worked for us.

And to this day,

Even nine years later,

I find that I struggle most with the tasks that were,

You know,

And I'm doing air quotes,

His tasks.

Like doing the dishes,

Cutting the grass,

He was really good at getting the groceries.

It's as if I have this special resistance to picking up those things and putting them on my already full list.

And if you're listening to this,

I can bet that you may be in the same boat.

Taking on any additional household tasks,

As well as adding things,

Doctor's appointments,

Running to the pharmacy,

Whatever your personal case may be,

Is physically taxing.

I remember being so worn down that I was almost hyper.

That raggedly tired state where you're laughing one minute and it turns to crying without any warning.

I've read the same quotes that you have,

I'm sure.

Self-care isn't selfish or you can't pour from an empty cup.

But when you're in the thick of things,

In my experience,

It's really hard to put these notions into practice.

In my coaching,

I like to assign homework.

And before your mind jumps ahead to,

Oh,

I can't,

Barbara,

I can't possibly do one more thing.

I want to reassure you that this is the tiniest step in the right direction.

And it's something,

You know,

You should be doing,

But it's something I bet you aren't doing enough.

Little drum roll.

It's drinking water.

Have you ever noticed your urine maybe is a darker color?

Felt a bit dizzy?

Maybe you feel your heart beating faster than normal?

Noticed your skin is dry?

These are all signs that you may be dehydrated.

And I want to make one thing really clear.

I am not judging you.

I remember feeling that I had so little time for myself when I was in the thick of caring for my late husband that I switched to a two in one shampoo conditioner so that I could take shorter showers.

But I want to get back to this water thing,

And it sounds almost too basic,

But focusing on yourself in this one small area and getting back on track with drinking water can really help.

And it's something that I know you can fit in,

Even in your role as caregiver.

So why water?

Okay,

Humor me for a moment,

Because I'm going to give you a bit of a water lesson.

I was fortunate enough to study at the Health Coach Institute,

And they really have done a great job at summarizing all the benefits of drinking water.

And the benefits are really quite broad.

Drinking water throughout the day,

Here's my list,

It helps balance your blood sugar,

It carries nutrients to your cells,

It flushes out toxins and waste,

It keeps your skin,

Eyes,

Mouth,

Nose,

All those things that need moisture,

It keeps that functioning well,

And actually makes those things feel more comfortable as well.

It actually cushions your joints,

It prevents muscle cramps,

It regulates your temperature,

And my personal favorite,

Which is a nice bonus,

It can decrease the signs of aging.

What I personally like about this homework that I'm going to assign you is that water can be taken with you on the go.

It's just something where I feel like there's not a lot of downside,

There's not a lot of things that are going to hold you back from taking this one small action on board.

Find a water bottle that you love.

I love the ones with a straw.

For some reason I can easily,

More easily,

Drink more water that way.

I don't know why,

But just for me,

Those ones with the straw works.

You can further customize your water to what you want.

And I'm going to pause here,

As I know you might be starting to feel a little uncomfortable,

A little bit of discomfort.

I've been there.

I've been there when you are operating in a space that isn't about you,

That isn't focused on you,

And anything,

Any notion that you're going to turn inward and focus on yourself might cause you to be uncomfortable.

But I'm here to invite you to allow yourself this little pleasure,

This little tiny bit of pleasure,

Because you deserve it.

Think about adding mint or lemon,

Cucumber,

Orange slices,

Have it sparkling,

Drink it hot,

Add some vitamin powders that you can buy.

I mean,

I have one that I use that ups my vitamin C.

And you'll want to start small and gradual.

So if you're drinking one glass of water today,

Aim for two glasses of water tomorrow and just work your way up slowly,

Gently,

Gradually.

An optimal amount of water is a very individual thing.

It's based on your level of activity,

The temperature or humidity where you live,

How much caffeine or alcohol you drink.

There's a rule of thumb.

You can divide your weight in half and then think of that number as the number of ounces you need per day.

Personally,

I don't worry too much about reaching a specific amount of water.

I don't track it.

I'm not saying that you should track it.

I just make a point of drinking water throughout the day.

And I'm going to say it again.

You are worth this small effort.

Even if you feel a bit lost in the background as a caregiver.

It's something that you can do for yourself.

And I want to go back to those quotes.

Self-care isn't selfish.

And you can't pour from an empty cup.

They are hard to follow.

But I think we all agree they are true.

If drinking more water makes you feel even 1% better,

Then you'll be that 1% stronger as a caregiver.

Thanks so much for tuning in.

Now go fill your cup.

Reviews

🙏💕 I find if I drink a lot and have to do some errands that I’m always looking for a washroom! On days when I stay at home I will make a goal to drink more.

Thank you for helping me. I am still afraid and exhausted with this. I will drink 2x the water I am now drinking. Maybe it would make my head clearer Thank you so much for being upbeat with this. Tomorrow night we will listen to your 3rd session.

Im often amazed at myself for associating water consumption with effort, when it truly is a privilege - if you live somewhere where it’s readily available, safe and free. Thank for the reminder to value water’s role in caring for our body and mind.