Reducing Suffering With Tonglen

Tonglen means, “sending and taking,” an ancient Buddhist practice to awaken compassion. With each in-breath, we take in others’ pain. With each out-breath, we send them relief. This is a visualization practice and therefor a foundational mindfulness practice is needed so you can stay relatively present. Folks have different abilities to visualize so if you are new to the practice don't be hard on yourself if you can't hold the images in your mind very well!

Transcript

So let's take a comfortable upright posture.

And we're going to do the practice of tonglen today,

Which is the practice of taking and sending our own and others pain.

We take away their pain and we send them joy and ease.

So we take a comfortable posture,

Spine straight.

We can tuck our chin.

The tongue is resting on the roof of the mouth where this is where it rests naturally,

Lips slightly parted.

Shoulders not too far forward,

Not too far back.

And eyes can be gently closed.

If there's any squeezing of the eyes,

Just relax that a bit.

Just gently closed.

Or slightly open with a gaze down three to five feet in front of you,

If that's your preference.

We'll start with five breaths.

We're going to just go in through the nose and gently out through the mouth like you're blowing out birthday candles.

So let's breathe in together.

In the nose.

So this time in the nose and then out through the mouth.

And then let's do four more together in the nose.

Gently long out through the mouth.

Three more on your own.

Before we start our practice of Tonglen,

Of taking pain and sending joy and peace,

We'll just do four,

Three,

Five breathing,

Which will just help us drop into mindfulness.

And all we do for this is breathe in for a count of four,

Hold at the top for three,

And then gently exhale for five.

So when you're ready,

Breathe in,

Breathe out.

Then breathe in for a count of four,

Three,

Two,

One.

Hold for three,

Two,

One.

Exhale slowly five,

Four,

Three,

Two,

One.

Breathe in for three.

Hold for three.

Exhale for five,

Four,

Three,

Two,

One.

Inhale for four,

Three,

Two,

One.

Hold for three,

Two,

One.

Exhale five,

Four,

Three,

Two,

One.

And then you're on your own for four,

Three,

Five breathing.

And just two more rounds,

Four,

Three,

Five breathing on your own.

And now just let the breath come back to normal.

Just being breathed.

Now we'll start the ancient practice of Tonglen.

It's based on the concept that all beings are actually in our own mind,

Our own experience.

So therefore we can help relieve their suffering,

Bring them some peace.

And we always start with ourselves.

If we can't find peace within ourselves,

Then we can't do much for others.

So we start with ourselves.

And how you do this is as you're just here,

Simply breathing in,

Breathing out.

Imagine another version of yourself in your own mind and see them there with any of their everyday suffering,

Maybe some anxiety or stress about work or life.

See them in an environment that you're familiar with.

You can see them,

But they can't see you.

You're just there to relieve some of the pain and give them some peace and ease and joy.

And how you do this is just imagine that their body is filled with this black soot,

All their suffering,

All their mental confusion.

This is this black soot.

And you're going to be breathing this in.

This can't harm you at all.

You're completely capable of transforming this confusion and pain.

You start to breathe in through your nose.

You start to see all this black soot.

It's coming through their pores.

It's moving towards you.

And eventually,

It enters your nose,

And it goes right down to your heart where there's this incredibly bright light.

You can see it as a fire if you like.

And the black soot hits that,

And all at once,

It just shoots back into white light.

And then that comes out your nose and starts to go towards them.

It's like you're a filter for their pain.

And just continue this process.

You just see the black soot coming out of their pores and out of their body towards you.

It goes in your nose,

Down into your heart.

And then just this huge white flame like explosion of joy and OK-ness flows back out on your heart.

Exhale towards them.

It's like you're filtering them.

So continue to do that,

Pulling in the black fears,

Their securities.

It gets filtered through your heart,

And then that white easeful light goes back to them with a little smile on your face.

You're happy to do this.

No problem.

And as you're doing this more,

You're almost done now with the black soot.

You've removed almost all of this version of your own self,

All their suffering and confusion and pain,

Any physical sickness.

And they're filling with this white light.

And this white light is very light,

Very bright and joyful.

And see them filled with this light and this ease and this joy and this equanimity,

OK-ness.

And now you see them smiling.

And you smile too.

They may not know it,

But you've done this for them.

So you're both very happy.

And then just let them go on their way,

Happy and joyful.

Lighten that ease.

And just come on home to a few mindful breaths.

And breathing in,

Breathing out.

Next we continue tonglen with someone that we love and really care about.

So go ahead and think of someone and bring them into your mind's eye,

Maybe a parent or a spouse,

A near and dear one.

And just like you,

They want to be happy.

Just like you,

They don't want to suffer,

But they still do due to their confusion.

Maybe they don't have access to teachings and practice.

And just see them in their comfortable environment,

Maybe in their bedroom or living room or in their bedroom.

And you see them there and they have their regular everyday stress and tensions.

It could be physical,

It could be mental.

And now all that suffering that they have,

That total normal human suffering,

Is black soot again.

And you just see it in them and you don't want them to suffer.

And you know that you have this ability to transform.

So you get to work and you breathe in that blackness that to them is overwhelming,

But to you,

You know,

You can help with.

And you see the blackness coming out of all their pores,

All the different parts of their body,

Maybe their eyes and ears,

Maybe any sick places they have from any disease.

And you're taking this all in,

Gets closer and closer to you,

Then down your nose,

Down into your heart.

And then there's that big white fire,

So strong and capable.

It completely transforms their suffering into this beautiful,

Joyful white light.

And that's your exhale.

So go ahead and do that process and see that the blackness gets less and less and the white freedom and joy becomes more and more.

From heaviness to lightness.

Just continue to do the practice and relieve them.

And you're happy too,

Because you're doing this.

And you almost have it all now.

Just breathing in any remaining blackness from their confusion,

Mental and physical.

Breathing in that bright fire-like heart space,

Breathing out that white joy,

Peace,

Ease,

Compassion.

And now they're starting to smile.

You can see them,

They can't see you.

But they just feel so much better.

And then you smile because they're happy and they're in your mind.

And then come on home for a few mindful rounds of breath.

Perhaps tuning into the texture of your breath.

Noticing the solidity of your seat where your bottom touches the cushion or ground.

Perhaps we're going to bring to mind someone we're neutral towards.

So maybe you filled your car with gas today or yesterday and saw someone at the store,

The station,

The UPS guy or woman.

Someone neutral in your life.

Maybe someone you see when you drop your kids off at school if you have kids.

Bring that person to mind.

And see them sitting there.

Even though you don't know this person very well,

You know that they're just like you as a human.

They're there every morning,

Not wanting to suffer,

Wanting to be happy and peaceful.

But maybe they don't know how.

So you do it for them.

Since they're in your mind,

You can.

So see them there with the basic human suffering.

Maybe they're chasing things.

Maybe they're avoiding things in their life.

Maybe they're going through a tough time.

You're like in a corner of that room looking towards them.

And you just see that same black pain and soot.

You just breathe it in.

Goes down into your heart.

Transforms with that bright white light.

Comes back out your nose towards them.

And the filtering begins.

The taking and sending.

You know how to do it now.

I'll be nice and quiet.

Just go ahead and transform their suffering into peace.

And towards the end here with this person,

All the blackness is transformed.

And see their physical shape changing.

Their face is more happy.

Their shoulders are relaxed.

Maybe their belly is relaxed.

They just have that look of ease.

And you have that same ease.

Sharing in our true nature,

Which is this pure white light of ease,

Joy,

Compassion.

And just let them go.

And they go back into their life with that relief.

You come on home for a few breaths.

Perhaps this time feeling into the length of the breath.

Seeing if it's going down to your middle chest,

Your belly.

Just being with the breath.

Nice and embodied.

Mind,

Body,

Soul united right here,

Right now.

And then finally,

We take on someone challenging.

Someone that you have a hard time with.

You don't need to pick your hardest person,

But someone that challenges you.

And try not to think you're too good to have someone that you dislike.

There's most likely someone in your life that irritates you.

It could be a political figure,

Someone,

Friend,

Family,

Enemy.

And see them in your mind's eye.

And sometimes this can be very difficult to cultivate compassion for this person.

So if helpful,

You can see them as a baby.

And they're being held by their mother.

And they're still so perfect and pure.

Maybe that's helpful if the adult version's too hard.

But just know that that adult is trying their best,

Just like you,

To figure it out.

And they may have hurt you or come across in a pretty horrible way,

Potentially.

But see if you can find a little bit of compassion.

And if you can't,

That's OK.

Just have compassion for yourself.

But if able,

See this person who you have a hard time with,

Filled with the same confusion that so many humans deal with.

The same physical pain,

Same mental pain,

Same fears.

And it's just that heavy black soot.

Just go ahead and do the practice of bringing that in into you,

Into your heart.

And then it's transformed completely effortlessly into this bright white light that's healing on the exhale.

Exhaling the pain,

Exhaling the peace.

And take like 10 rounds of breath to see this person suffer less and less,

This person that is in your mind.

See them getting cleared out,

Lighter and lighter.

More at ease.

And you start to feel happy too and at ease.

Even though this person is difficult for you,

Since it's your mind,

Them feeling relief is the same as you feeling relief.

The long term goal will be to take this into our everyday life.

But for now,

We just practice here on our cushion,

Getting to see how it feels when all beings are peaceful and at ease,

Thanks to our practice.

And now that person is totally healthy and peaceful and content.

You let them go into their world.

And you come on home to any joy that you may be feeling or compassion.

Take a passion for any stuck parts that may have had a hard time with this practice.

Just being with a few rounds more breath before we wrap up this session of Tonglin.

See if you can manage a smile at the end.

Turn the corners of the lips up slightly.

Final internal smile.

When you're ready,

You can place your hands in Anjali Mudra in front of your chest.

Your fingertips and palms are touching with a little space between the palms,

A little bit in the middle there.

That's a perfect gem there.

That's symbolic of your perfect,

Limitless nature of all of our shared humanity to be okay.

We just dust off any confusion and dust off that gem and we all discover that we're all okay internally.

We gently bow forward hoping that our practice benefits ourselves and all beings.

Thank you.

Reviews

Powerful. I will come back to this.

Wonderful, and yet again wonderful !
Thanks for this simple and easy way to practice Tonglen, this superb compassion meditation.

Thank you for reminding me to connect with my inner light.

Thankyou Erik. Took some concentration but I got there, definately helpful