The Existential Question " Who Am I? "

Ever wonder who you truly are? Through mindfulness and gentle inquiry, you'll discover a part of yourself that remains constant amidst the ever-changing world. You will experience how you are the vast ocean, not the individual waves. In this meditation, you'll go back to childhood memories, see the constant "you" throughout life's changes, and witness thoughts and feelings come and go like clouds.

Remember, this is just the beginning of your exploration. This meditation isn't about finding an answer, but a journey of self-discovery. You can revisit this meditation and continue discovering the depths of who you truly are. So open your mind, breathe deeply, and embark on a quest to meet the true you.

Transcript

Welcome to this Inner Inquiry.

There are two existential questions that we all contemplate at some point in our lives.

And those are,

Who am I?

And what is the purpose of my life?

In this meditation,

We are going to consider the very first question,

Which is,

Who am I?

This was the very question that marked the start of my spiritual journey.

Instead of keeping this as a talk,

I decided to keep it as a meditation,

Because you would never stumble upon the answer to this question just solely by thinking,

As the bounds of this question exceeds the capacity of the mind.

A true answer can only be felt and experienced,

Not intellectualized.

I don't have a concrete answer to give you.

Each of us has our own journey,

And my intention for this meditation is to hold a space for letting the answer to that question,

Who am I,

Unfold for you.

As we begin,

I invite you to either stand,

Sit,

Or lie down,

Whatever feels comfortable to you.

Taking a deep breath in.

And as you breathe out,

Notice the body beginning to sink more and more into the surface beneath you.

Taking another deep breath in.

And as you exhale,

Allowing the body to release any tension that it might be holding.

Taking one more deep breath in.

And out.

Now,

Allow the breath to find its natural rhythm,

In and out,

At its own pace.

As you continue to breathe in this way,

The breath can act like an anchor to help you stay grounded whenever you need it.

Now,

Ask yourself,

Who am I?

Repeat this question to yourself three more times.

And don't try to answer just yet.

Simply feel the question within you.

As you try to connect with the question,

Try to recall the last time when someone asked,

Who are you?

You might have answered with your name,

For example,

I am Anisha.

But my question to you is that,

Is that truly who you are?

I invite you to reflect on whether your name truly defines you.

Are you merely a collection of letters?

As you are reflecting on your name,

I invite you to consider different relationships in your life and the roles you play in them.

You are someone's friend,

Parent,

Colleague,

Life partner.

Each of these roles and many more roles that you might play has its own experiences.

So now,

Ask yourself,

Who am I beyond the roles I play,

Beyond the stories I tell myself?

Notice how you move through these roles,

But you are not defined by them.

You are the observer watching the play unfold.

As you go through all the roles you have played in your life,

I invite you to consider the other labels you might use to define yourself.

For example,

Your age,

Gender,

Profession,

Religion,

Nationality,

And many other such labels.

Are these labels truly who you are?

Ask yourself,

Am I merely a collection of external labels or am I something more?

As you contemplate this,

Allow your attention to come back to your breath.

Notice the breath for a few moments.

Now,

Imagine yourself standing in front of a mirror.

Taking a look into your eyes.

Do you recognize them?

Notice who is this seeing an image of you in the mirror?

Can you recall seeing the world through these same eyes?

When you were a child,

Or when you were a teenager,

Or an adult.

Notice how your body has changed,

But these eyes have witnessed it all.

Notice a part of you behind the eyes.

Not attached to the changing experiences,

But simply aware of them.

This is the observer you,

The unchanging witness.

Now,

Think back to your first day of school.

Or if you can't remember that,

Then you can recall any other day at school when you were a little child.

Can you recall what you saw through your eyes on that day?

What can you hear?

Maybe you can hear people talking or sounds from the environment.

What emotions are you experiencing?

Were there any specific thoughts you remember that were running in your head at that day?

As you try to remember that day with vivid detail,

See how your body has changed from a small child to the person you are today.

Ask yourself,

Who was I then and who am I now?

Do you feel a connection between the different versions of yourself?

Isn't it true that you were there then and you are here now?

Who is the constant observer throughout the various stages of your life?

As you reflect on that,

Shift your focus now to another significant memory from your life.

It can be anything,

Maybe meeting your first love or a turning point in your life.

Once you choose a specific time,

Again observe what are you seeing.

What do you hear while you are reliving this memory?

Also notice is there any kind of smell,

Maybe pleasant or unpleasant.

Notice how do you felt in those moments.

As you try to connect back to that memory,

Notice the observer you present throughout.

Isn't it true that you were there then and you are here now?

Contemplate your body throughout your life from childhood to the present moment.

Does the changing body defines you or is there an unchanging essence within?

As you try to connect back with your inner self,

Allow your attention to come back to your breath.

Noticing the breath for next few moments.

As you observe your breath,

You might notice the thoughts arising.

Sometimes they make sense and sometimes they don't.

I invite you to reflect on who is the one noticing these thoughts.

Ask yourself,

Can I separate myself from these thoughts?

Ask yourself,

Aren't these separate from me if I can observe them?

As you contemplate on this,

Allow your attention to return back to the breath.

As your mind wanders again,

You might notice how these thoughts appear and disappear.

But the awareness behind them,

The one observing remains unchanged.

Now connect with how do you feel right now.

Is it the same as you felt when you started this meditation?

Your emotions are like clouds drifting across the sky.

They come and go,

Bringing joy,

Sadness,

Anger,

Boredom,

Excitement into your life.

But each emotion is temporary.

And you,

The observer,

Remains constant,

Witnessing this flow.

Recognize that they are temporary states,

But not your true identity.

You are the unmoving ground beneath the shifting sands of emotions.

Now I invite you to take a moment to briefly scan your body and notice the different sensations within your body from head to toe.

As you briefly scan your whole body,

I invite you to focus on any one part of the body that calls for your attention right now.

Become curious as to what this part feels like.

Do you feel tingling,

Pressure,

Heaviness,

Tightness,

Warmth?

Notice what are the sensations present.

As you try to connect with that part,

You can even place your hand on that part and say to it that I am here with you.

If at any point you feel an unpleasant,

Overwhelming sensation,

Then you can try to breathe into that body part and release the unpleasant sensation out as you exhale.

As you try to be with that part,

Did you notice the sensations in that part of the body shifting in any manner?

Now take a deep breath in and out.

From our exploration together,

You might have noticed how our thoughts,

Emotions and sensations arise and pass away like waves in the ocean.

You are not these phenomenas but the vast ocean itself,

Ever-present and unchanging.

Ask yourself who is experiencing these thoughts,

Emotions and sensations.

As you do so,

Don't try to force your way to the answer.

Instead,

Just gently drop the question into the inner world.

Now let's continue our exploration on another level of consciousness.

So ask yourself who watches the dream unfold?

Who is the observer within the dream?

Ask yourself is this the same me who experiences waking reality?

Who awakens and remembers the dream?

As you let this question settle within you,

Bring your attention back to your breath,

Back to the anchor.

As you took this inner journey,

Can you connect with this deeper essence,

The observer behind all the changing experiences?

Everything I have mentioned until now is the object of your awareness.

But reflect on who is the subject that is constantly observing all these objects.

If we eliminate all these objects one by one,

Then who will remain?

That's you.

You are the witness,

The ever-present awareness.

You are the vast space in which all these arise and pass away.

I invite you to again ask yourself,

Who am I?

Allow the question to resonate within you without seeking a forced answer.

Allow yourself to simply be without needing to define or analyze yourself.

Be present with the inquiry and trust that the answer will come to you in time.

Now gently bring your attention back to your breath.

Begin to notice the sounds in your environment.

Becoming aware of the space around your body.

As you start to connect with the environment around you,

Wiggle your fingers and toes to reground yourself.

Whenever you feel ready,

You can open your eyes slowly.

I invite you to carry this sense of awareness and this inquiry with you into your daily life.

You are welcome to revisit this meditation regularly to continue exploring your inner self.

Thank you for going on this inner exploration with me.

I wish you a wonderful day.

Bye-bye.

Reviews

Thank you! I really enjoyed this insightful peaceful offering. I love how it was a meditation and allowed me to simply open my awareness. Previously, I have wondered "who am I" and the more I thought on it the more consuming it became. Now, I simply believe and kindly give myself grace knowing "I am". I do not have to define myself by a description, definition, acts, or purpose. I digress. Thanks again this track is a blessing. With love and gratitude.

Wow Anisha!!! Beautiful. Loved this practice soo much. There's a reason this stayed in my "listen later" until now. Soo impactful and meaningful to things I have been experiencing and witnessing in my life. Ahhh yay. Thank you for this lovely amazing thought and feeling provoking practice. 🥰🙏🫶💖✌️✨️

This is wonderful. Such a gentle pace and thoughtful process. Thank you.