Where Does Happiness Lie?

In this short talk Andy asks the question, 'Where does happiness lie?'. Everyone is looking for happiness, but before we can find happiness, we need to know where to look. Are we looking in the right places? What kind of happiness do you want?

Transcript

Hi there,

My name is Andy Lee.

Thanks for joining me in this talk.

We are going to explore where happiness lies.

Where does it exist?

How do we mine it out and experience it?

The search for happiness is something we all have in common.

It's something we are all striving for.

Before we can find something,

We need to know where it is,

Or at the very least have an understanding of where it could be.

For me,

This shift from trying to find happiness without any clear direction,

To first understanding where happiness lies and then pursuing it with a concrete meaning and purpose was life changing.

It was like going from I'm doing this because I believe it makes me happy,

To I'm happy and doing this other thing also makes me happy.

If you don't know where happiness is,

How can you be happy?

It's like if I ask you to drive me to your local airport from your home.

You won't start driving until you know which direction to go,

Which roads to take.

This is something you may know because you have been there before,

Or if you haven't,

You would research it and put it in your sat-nav before driving.

So before we can be happy,

We first need to understand where happiness is.

Where is the destination?

Let me tell you a story which is from the book Zhuantu,

Which is a Daoist book.

I modernised the story a little bit,

But the essence of the story remains.

There was a monk who lived in a cave.

He didn't eat any food and only drank water from a nearby lake.

He spent his days meditating in a cave.

Many years later,

When he was at the lake collecting water to bring back to the cave,

Suddenly a tiger snuck up behind him and ate him.

On the other side of the world,

There was a businessman who built a chain of restaurants in his town.

He became wealthy and his restaurants became well known in his local community.

He would use his local celebrity and wealth to live a lavish lifestyle,

Buying a mansion,

Owning luxury cars,

Having whatever he wanted.

Many years later he got gravely ill and died.

Do you think the monk and the businessman lived happy lives?

Their approaches to life were on the opposite ends of the spectrum.

The monk solely focused on cultivating his inner self,

Being present in the now,

And being enlightened.

He neglected external goods and only owned robes which he wore every day.

The businessman focused on building material wealth,

Owning everything he could dream of – mansions,

Cars,

Clothes,

Accessories.

He neglected his inner being.

Such a concept didn't exist for him.

Is it possible that both of them were happy?

It's possible both of them were happy throughout their lives.

But the type of happiness is different.

The monk's happiness comes from within.

It's eternal,

Not dependent on anything.

Through meditation and being present,

You might call it mindfulness today,

He is accessing the soul of his being,

Where happiness and peace thrive.

He had inner happiness.

The businessman's happiness came from material things.

It is temporary and entirely dependent on the emotional attachment to them.

His life was desire-led,

Using his wealth to buy whatever he wanted,

Such as owning the house of his dreams,

Or travelling all over the world.

If the businessman were to lose all his wealth and assets,

His desires would no longer be able to be fulfilled.

Thus he would no longer be happy.

He had material happiness.

I believe it is imperative to understand this concept of two types of happiness.

This is where we start to understand what destination we are pursuing.

Are we pursuing inner happiness or material happiness?

And also,

Which one is better?

As we see in the story,

Even though the monk reached eternal happiness,

He was eaten by a tiger.

And the businessman had material happiness,

But he became gravely ill and died.

Now don't take this story literally in the sense that if you were a monk you would get eaten by a tiger,

Or if you were a businessman you would get gravely ill.

These tragedies highlight the unpredictability of life.

What we really need is to have a balance.

Living in one extreme is unhealthy for the body,

Mind and spirit.

Finding a balance where you cultivate your inner being,

As well as maintaining a stable lifestyle is important in today's modern world.

Having happiness where the source of it is coming from inside you means that if you do have additional material happiness they can co-exist together.

One is not replacing the other,

As inner happiness is eternal and can't be replaced.

It can only be shrouded and hidden by human desires.

This might be the reason why we hear stories of celebrities and wealthy people who have all the money and fame,

But aren't happy.

They rely solely on material happiness and have not cultivated their inner happiness.

They are the businessmen.

The desires which they thought would bring happiness were temporary.

The monk also has his flaws.

If the monk is only focused on reaching his own enlightenment,

His sole goal is to be enlightened,

This is spiritual greed.

He only cares about himself and believes that reaching enlightenment will give him the ultimate form of happiness.

The businessman can have an impact on others through his endeavours whatever they may be.

He could be contributing to his local community through charity or fundraising,

Whereas the monk has isolated himself from the world for his one sole desire.

In my own journey I've been striving for material happiness.

This is what society has taught me.

Get a good education and get a good job so you can have a nice lifestyle and provide for your family.

It has only been in the last couple years that I've been exploring and cultivating my inner being,

An eternal happiness which lies within.

Making the switch from material happiness to inner happiness is easier said than done.

It takes time to detach from desires and discover there is happiness within.

It is a practice I do every day as thoughts and feelings surface within me.

I have found daily mindfulness and meditation allows me to cultivate my inner happiness which I have hid for so long,

And ultimately want to reach a balance of inner and material happiness.

I believe it's a lifelong journey and lesson to try to find that balance in happiness.

Happiness is a choice.

You can choose inner happiness,

Material happiness,

Or a balance of both.

The destination is a lifelong journey.

Take one step at a time and live that journey in each step.

Thanks for listening to me.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this talk.

Have an amazing day.

Reviews

That was a good session for me to begin my day with! Thanks. it gave me great insight on what will work for me today. Be happy 😊!

T he ank you for this informative and thought provoking talk. Namaste

Really loved this exploration of both ends of the pursuit of happiness. Much food for thought. Thank you for shining the light here on this dichotomy.

A very enlightened way to think of true happiness. Internally & externally and thank you for sharing 🧡

Thank you for this enlightening talk. It has helped me to clarify many aspects of my life, career and their trajectory which in latter years has been to help others rather than seek material possessions. This has resulted in a completely different perspective on my approach to life and is far more satisfying. Namaste

Thank you Andy, your parable on happiness was simple and inspiring. I enjoy your meditation Practices very much and thank you for sharing your gift. I would love to hear more talks as well. Namaste 🙏

I have several of your other Medications on my Playlist. But I’m so Happy that I went to your page and found this one! It’s absolutely beautiful! The message is so inspiring and powerful. It touched me and my life in so many ways. Thank you for the time and love you put into your work.

Thanks for sharing your insights into finding happiness. It is a path that is different for each of us. 🙏

Interesting. The concept of happiness. It’s a vast spectrum. Makes you think 🤔. Thank you 🙏

Perfect sense thank you.