Begin by sitting facing each other a couple feet apart.
Now close your eyes and turn your attention inward and follow your breath.
Feel the rise and fall of your body as you inhale and exhale.
Let go of any thoughts from the day,
Any plans for later,
Any expectations for what will happen even right now.
You are here to set aside time to practice being present,
First with yourself and then with your partner.
Now breathe deep into your chest and place your attention on the beat of your heart.
If you'd like,
You could even place one or both hands on your heart and feel the touch of your hands against your chest.
Whatever helps with getting into that place of presence.
Feel the space expand between the front and back of your chest.
Relax your shoulders and release any tension in your body.
Begin to breathe into your heart and notice any emotions you may have in this moment,
Whether it's excitement,
Boredom,
Joy,
Arousal,
Sadness,
Contentment,
Anything.
You are now being present with yourself.
Now open your eyes and meet your partner's gaze.
If your hands are still on your chest,
You can let that go and then just place them on your lap.
Notice the expression on your partner's face and the rise and fall of their chest as they're breathing.
Notice their posture and how they might be feeling.
Feel into your partner's emotions and connect your heart with theirs.
You are now being present with your partner.
If you notice your mind wandering,
Forming thoughts or judgments,
Gently watch them dissolve as you bring your breath back to your heart and your attention back to your partner.
Now let's begin a short activity in which one partner will write the other on how present they are and then you will switch roles.
As you receive your ratings,
Do your best to be present with your partner.
The partner who is rating every few seconds,
Say aloud a number between one and ten.
Your rating represents how present you feel your partner to be.
One means you feel your partner is daydreaming or lost in their own thoughts.
Ten means you feel your partner is fully connected with you from their heart and in tune with your feelings.
The one with the longer fingers will be the partner who will receive the ratings.
Now figure out which partner will be rated first.
You will have 60 seconds and in those 60 seconds the partner who is giving ratings says aloud a rating every few seconds.
And have fun with this.
There is no right or wrong,
No good or bad.
Take it easy and enjoy the activity.
Ready set go.
.
Okay,
Ratings are done.
Now let's take a moment to breathe for a few more seconds.
Again feeling the body expand and release as you inhale and exhale.
The partner that was being rated,
Reflect on the ratings you were given.
Could your partner tell if you were present or not?
Were there any numbers that surprised you?
Could you feel your own presence?
Now take about 30 seconds to share what you notice with your partner.
If you need a little more time,
Go ahead and pause the episode and continue when you're ready.
Now let's switch roles.
Take 30 seconds to share with your partner what sort of signs indicated whether your partner was present with you or not.
Okay,
If you need to finish up your sharing,
Have a few more seconds and get ready to switch roles.
If you need a little more time,
Go ahead and pause the episode and continue when you're ready.
The partner that was giving the rating,
It is now your turn to practice being present.
The partner that was being rated,
It is now your turn to give ratings.
Go for it.
Okay.
Ratings done.
Take another pause and return to just breathing for a few seconds.
The partner that was being rated,
Reflect on the ratings you were given.
Could your partner tell if you were present or not?
Were there any numbers that surprised you?
Could you feel your own presence?
Now take 30 seconds to share what you notice with your partner.
For the partner that was giving the ratings,
Take the next 30 seconds to share what indicated to you whether your partner was present with you or not.
Okay.
If you need to finish up your sharing,
Have a few more seconds and return to just breathing once you're ready.
I will now leave the time open for you to share what you've learned or experienced with your partner.
Are you able to feel how present you are?
Are you able to feel when you are present and connected to your partner?
And whether your partner is present and connected to you?
Remember the simplicity of this experience and how useful this tool can be for both of you.
We encourage you to return to this episode once in a while as a way to check in with your presence,
With your partner.
