RAIN Meditation For Difficult Emotions
RAIN is an acronym for a four-step experiential process that helps us move through difficult emotions that may arise in our personal, professional, and relational lives by Recognizing, Allowing, Investigating, and Nurturing (RAIN) our feelings. The practice was first developed by Michele McDonald several decades ago but has been most recently modified, explicated, and expanded upon by Mindfulness Meditation Teacher and Clinical Psychologist, Tara Brach as a means of meeting difficult emotions and life circumstances with curiosity, acceptance, and self-compassion. The practice I offer here is closely aligned with Tara Brach's teachings and includes trauma-sensitive guidance in case you experience emotional overwhelm at any point.
Transcript
Welcome to this RAIN meditation.
RAIN is an acronym for a four-step process that methodically guides us through the two wings of mindfulness,
Awareness and compassion.
This practice is particularly helpful when we find we are caught in some entanglement in our life,
Such as struggling with difficult emotions,
Being at odds with ourselves or others in our personal life,
Dealing with sticky and tricky situations at work,
Or even when we find ourselves caught in habitual patterns of behavior,
As in the case of addiction or chronic rumination that is not serving us.
RAIN can be practiced as a formal meditation as it is presented here,
Or it can also be practiced in just a few minutes by going through each of the four steps when you are feeling caught,
Conflicted,
Uneasy,
Or otherwise emotionally activated in the moment.
As with all of these practices,
If at any time you start to feel overwhelmed,
Unsafe,
Or distressed beyond your capacity to stay with what you are experiencing in the moment,
Please take care of your needs.
You may try moving the attention away from the RAIN practice and returning to the breath.
You may find that grounding by noticing where the body is making contact with the surface on which you are sitting is helpful.
Opening yourself to the sounds around you can help anchor you in the present moment,
Or even opening your eyes,
Looking around and naming what you see could be helpful.
And now we will begin the practice of RAIN.
I invite you to come into a comfortable position,
Adjusting as necessary to adopt a sitting posture that is relaxed,
Yet alert,
Upright,
But at ease.
If it feels comfortable,
Please close your eyes,
But if not,
Feel free to maintain a soft,
Unfocused gaze at a point of your choosing.
Let's start by taking a few deep breaths,
Breathing in deeply from the belly,
And then slowly releasing your breath out through the mouth.
Another deep breath in,
And out.
And now allowing the breath to return to its normal rhythm,
Really letting the breath breathe itself and bringing awareness to the body,
Maybe noticing any areas of tension and seeing if you can make any shifts to release it,
Such as softening the area around the eyes,
Loosening the jaw and the tongue,
Letting your shoulders drop down and back,
Softening the belly.
What wants to let go right now?
I'm just generally unclenching any parts of the body that need to let go.
And now we're going to do a little grounding by bringing awareness to where any parts of the body,
Such as the sit bones,
The thighs,
Lower back,
Come into contact with the surface beneath you or behind you.
Noticing how gravity is rooting you in this spot.
Feeling the weight of your body rooted to the earth.
If your feet are touching the ground,
Allow yourself to really sense the soles of your feet on the surface beneath you.
Imagining that your feet are rooted to the earth in the same way a tree's roots are held solid by the ground.
If at any point during this meditation,
You start to become overwhelmed or distressed,
Please know that you can bring your attention to your seat or to the soles of your feet to ground yourself,
All the while remembering the African proverb that tells us,
When the roots are deep,
There is no reason to fear the wind.
And now to begin our RAIN meditation,
I invite you to bring to mind a situation or entanglement that has been bringing you some emotional reactivity or distress,
Such as fear,
Anger,
Confusion,
Disappointment,
Or hurt.
If you're in a situation where you're feeling overwhelmed or distressed,
Fear,
Anger,
Confusion,
Disappointment,
Or hurt.
Something going on in your life that evokes difficult emotions or troublesome thoughts.
Something such as a conflict with a friend or family member,
A recent difficulty in the workplace,
An upcoming situation or event that is causing you worry and concern.
Or maybe something that you are personally struggling with,
Such as an addictive behavior or difficulty making change in your life.
Trying not to pick the most upsetting thing going on in your life,
But rather bringing to mind something that's a 3 or a 4 on a scale of 0 to 10.
Once you have the situation in mind,
Really bring it into focus.
Putting yourself there in the moment of difficulty.
Noticing where you are.
Who else might be present?
Hearing any words that were spoken.
Seeing if you can visualize the look on your face or on other people's faces.
Just really becoming aware of how you are feeling in the situation.
You may notice many emotions or feelings are present.
Some of them even conflicting.
That's okay.
Seeing if you can notice which emotion is most pulling for your attention right now.
What is feeling the strongest for you?
This is the R of RAIN.
Recognizing what is happening inside you right now.
What does this feel like?
Really recognizing what is happening inside you right now.
What does this feel like?
Really recognizing whatever feels most noticeable in your experience.
The feelings,
Emotions,
And thoughts that are present,
Possibly keeping you stuck.
Often when we find ourselves unable to let go of feelings or thoughts,
We notice we are trapped in shame,
Fear,
Confusion,
Squeeze of anxiety,
Or the weight of depression in the body.
As you recognize what you are feeling,
It can be helpful to gently name it.
Bringing awareness to the experience.
Naming what you are feeling can be powerful because we know if we name it,
We tame it.
Focusing on the felt experience,
The sensations,
Without judgment,
But with kindness and curiosity.
Simply noting this is fear.
This is confusion.
This is disappointment,
Or shame,
Or guilt,
Or even just hurt,
Hurt.
As you name the experience,
Maybe opening up more space internally to just feel what you are feeling without judgment.
Leading us to the A of RAIN,
Which is allow.
Allowing the feelings that are present to be here without resistance.
So often when we feel unpleasant emotions,
The urge is to push them away,
Shut them down,
Bury them,
Or ignore them.
But here,
Now,
Seeing if you can create space for your feelings,
Maybe mentally whispering a note of acceptance,
Such as yes,
Or this belongs,
Or this is okay.
And now noticing,
What is this like?
What is this like?
It's giving permission for this feeling to be here,
Just as it is.
What is this like?
And now might be a good time to notice if recognizing and allowing space for what you are feeling,
Naming it and accepting it.
Has it all shifted your relationship to how you are relating to or feeling about the emotion?
Maybe feeling more accepting and less resistant to what you are feeling.
Or maybe nothing has shifted.
And that's okay,
Too.
Just notice that.
And now beginning to move into the I of RAIN,
Which is investigation.
Calling on your natural curiosity,
The desire to know the truth.
Directing a more focused attention on your experience.
Investigating more closely,
Where do I feel this in my body?
And how does this feel?
Maybe there's tightness.
Maybe there's tightness,
Constriction,
Aching,
Heat.
Maybe the sensations are focused and concentrated in a single area of the body.
Or maybe they're diffuse throughout the body.
Are they dull or sharp?
Barely noticeable or really calling for attention?
Taking interest in how these feelings show up in the body.
And taking care not to make this an analytic or intellectual process or getting caught up in the story of why you are feeling this way.
But more a compassionate inquiry to how these feelings are impacting you.
You might ask yourself,
What most wants attention right now?
What am I believing?
What does this vulnerable place want from me?
What does it most need?
When investigating,
It is essential to approach your experience in a nonjudgmental and kind way.
This attitude of care helps create a sufficient sense of safety,
Making it possible to honestly connect with our hurts,
Fears,
And shame.
Becoming more intimate with your body.
Becoming more intimate with your experience.
Allowing the inquiry of what you are needing bring you to the end of RAIN,
Which is nurturing with self-compassion.
Offering kindness,
Care,
And compassion to the part of you that is hurting.
To do this,
Try calling on the wisest,
Most compassionate part of yourself.
Sensing what the wounded,
Frightened,
Or hurting place inside you most needs.
And then offering some gesture of active care that might address this need.
Does it need a message of soothing and comfort?
Such as it's okay,
Or you're okay.
Maybe this part needs reassurance,
Or forgiveness,
Or companionship,
Or love.
Offering words such as you're not alone.
I've got you.
You will survive this.
It can be very powerful when we are feeling alone and scared.
Aspirational statements such as may you feel loved.
May you feel safe.
May you feel strong.
May you feel strong.
Can be beneficial when you are struggling to connect with what you most need.
And then maybe seeing if offering a physical gesture of compassion feels right.
Such as placing one or both hands on the heart.
Softly bringing a hand to your cheek.
Holding hands in the lap.
Even envisioning yourself warmly embracing this hurt part.
Communicating care through touch.
You may be finding it difficult to bring kindness,
Love,
And compassion to yourself.
That's okay.
It may feel awkward and unnatural.
And that's to be expected initially.
Some find it helpful to mentally invite into the space someone or something that embodies warmth,
Love,
Care,
Kindness.
Perhaps a loving grandparent.
An affectionate and accepting child.
An attuned pet or even a spiritual or formless figure that radiates compassion.
Taking in the words of care you are most longing to hear when feeling this way.
And now moving away from the doing of RAIN to the being after the RAIN.
Noticing again,
How has your experience shifted since the start of this practice?
Attending to how you are feeling now.
Basking in any felt sense of warmth,
Kindness,
Compassion that has been offered to these hurting parts.
Asking in these moments,
What is my sense of being?
Who am I?
It's important to just notice your own presence and rest in that wakeful,
Tender space of awareness.
The fruit of RAIN is realizing that you are no longer imprisoned in the moment.
The fruit of RAIN is realizing that you are no longer imprisoned in the trance of unworthiness or in any limiting sense of self.
If you are noticing any other raw feelings come up,
See if you can just allow them to be here with kindness,
Including it all in this moment.
Resting in the presence of your love.
And in a few moments,
When you hear the sound of the bell,
I invite you to take whatever time you need to slowly come back into this space.
Gently opening your eyes,
Shifting or moving in a way that feels right so you may return to your day.
And giving yourself a deep bow of gratitude for the courage it takes to confront,
Confront,
Accept and nurture difficulties in your life.
And I also give you a deep bow of gratitude for your time and attention today.
May all beings know compassion.
May all beings feel loved.
May all beings be safe from harm.
And may all beings be free from suffering.
