Before we begin,
Let's take a moment to arrive.
You don't need to feel calm.
You don't need to be focused.
Just notice that you're here,
Listening,
Breathing,
Supported.
If it feels helpful,
Take one slow breath.
Not to change anything,
Just to arrive.
Many people reach for this tool when they're feeling confused by themselves,
By their own thoughts,
Their actions,
Their emotions,
Their own sensations in the body.
They wonder,
Why did I react like this?
Why does this keep happening?
Why can't I just stop?
What I want you to know is this.
Your reactions are not random.
They are not signs that something is wrong with you.
They follow a pattern,
A very human one.
Under stress,
Four parts of your experience start talking to each other.
One,
Your thoughts.
Two,
Your emotions.
Three,
Your body.
Four,
What you do to cope.
So that's your actions.
That's what you do next.
Our thoughts create feelings.
And a feeling can change your body,
Like tighten us up.
That feeling in the body can create an urge to either act or freeze up and avoid.
And then that action,
Whatever we do,
Whether it's the action of doing something or the action of avoidance or freezing,
That reinforces the next thought.
And this is what we call the stress loop.
It's not a problem to fix.
It's a process to understand.
Being in this stress loop doesn't mean you're weak.
It means you're human.
And it means your human system is trying to protect you.
Your mind and your body are desperately trying to work together to keep you safe,
Even when the results don't feel helpful.
Understanding this loop doesn't take the stress away.
But it does take the shame of being inside this loop away.
So if you're willing,
Bring to mind a recent moment of mild stress,
Nothing too overwhelming,
Just something very real.
What was the situation?
Just the facts,
Not the emotions.
Notice any thoughts that showed up.
They don't have to be kind or logical.
Just notice what they were.
What emotions did you notice?
How did your body feel?
Maybe tension,
Tightness in the chest,
Restlessness,
Heaviness,
Or maybe nothing at all,
Which is a numbness.
And that numbness is just as much a real body response to.
And last,
What did you do?
And if the answer is nothing,
What did you find the body feeling pulled to do?
Take a big breath here and congratulate yourself for this awareness of your stress loop.
This tool isn't meant to be used perfectly.
It's meant to help you pause even briefly and say,
Oh,
Okay,
This is where we're at.
This is the stress loop.
This is the stress loop that I'm in.
And in this first part,
We don't even have to do anything differently aside from noticing this is what we're in.
And just noticing this loop gives you more choice.
And choice is where compassion begins.
Instead of being angry at ourselves for why we're doing this,
Why we're doing that,
Why we're reacting this way,
We can instead pull those questions back and then flood ourselves with,
Oh,
This is just my mind and body's way of trying to protect me.
I don't have to feel ashamed or embarrassed that I'm reacting this way,
That I'm feeling this way,
That I'm having these thoughts.
So over the next few days,
If stress shows up,
You might gently ask,
What's happening in my thoughts,
My emotions,
My body,
My actions?
What am I doing right now?
And let's think about how they're all connected to each other,
Acting sort of like a domino falling over,
One falling over onto the next and creating this momentum.
And that's all.
Understanding is the first form of care.
