Befriending Ourselves (A Compassion Meditation)

Join Al in a guided practice of cultivating compassion for ourselves. We are often the last person we turn to for support, acceptance and connection. Yet, we begin to learn that we are the only ones who can be expected to repeatedly show up for us in the ways we need. It's our journey to become our own best friend, to be able to hold ourselves in all of our joys and sorrows.

Transcript

This meditation is dedicated to finding our way back home to our greatest companion,

Our dearest friend of all,

Ourselves.

Being one of our greatest pursuits to belong and to be in relationship with others,

We often find ourselves searching beyond ourselves.

We search for that companion,

That person who loves us so entirely,

Or that group that we can rely on so fully.

However,

The impermanent nature of our earthly existence means that nothing sticks and stays.

We move,

And we each have our own challenges balancing priorities and our ability to give others the wholehearted attention they deserve.

And perhaps the root of it,

Our own impermanence.

So how can we come to be our own rock,

Our own lover,

And our own best friend?

Let's begin by finding and settling into a posture for our practice.

Finding a position that balances both effort and ease,

So you can be both alert and relaxed without holding any unnecessary tension.

And then just begin to close down your eyes and take your attention inwards for a moment with yourself.

This is a sacred time,

A very special and sometimes rare occasion with yourself amidst the dense forest of your life.

So as you sit here in your posture,

Know that you are sitting here.

Just feeling the vertebrae stacked on top of each other,

And the crown of your head reaching for the sky above.

Just making sure the back of your neck is nice and long,

And the chin just maybe ever so slightly tucked towards the neck.

Feeling a sense of dignity in the spine.

Then when you're ready,

Just taking a deep breath into the chest,

Expanding the rib cage,

Holding for a moment,

And just exhaling and see if you can maintain the expanded rib cage after the exhale.

And then inhaling one more time,

See if you can expand the rib cage even more,

Elongating the spine towards the ceiling,

And again just holding.

And then exhaling slowly out the mouth.

And then just letting your attention come to rest with the breath,

Wherever it's easiest for you to connect with.

Maybe it's the nostrils,

The back of the throat,

The chest,

The stomach,

Or the sensation of the whole body breathing.

So just finding your way to the breath,

Taking a couple of arrival breaths to come into contact with the breath.

Just allowing the breath to be an intimate friend for a moment,

Becoming curious about the texture of the breath,

The flow of the breath,

And if in any way the breath is becoming stagnant or stuck.

And as you take a couple more breaths just like this,

Start to notice what's happening at the front of your chest.

Is it contracted?

Can it be open just a little bit more,

Creating just a little more space ready to receive?

And so just noticing the space at the front of your chest,

See if you can broaden your collarbones,

Squeezing the shoulder blades together at the back of the body.

Just opening up the front of the body.

And then when you're ready maybe placing a hand on your heart and just letting your attention drift to the left of your chest.

And as if you could ask your heart how it was,

Just notice what's there.

Sometimes there are tenderness,

A hiding,

An openness,

An overflowing,

A hesitation.

Just noticing what's there in your chest,

In the area of your heart.

And seeing if for a moment you can take your whole awareness to the left of your chest,

What is it like to be in your heart,

In your life right now?

Just feeling what it feels like to be in your heart.

Sitting with yourself in this way,

Is there something your heart is wishing to be heard for or seen in?

Is there a vulnerability asking for love or for compassion or empathy?

And just see if you can lean in even a little bit further to being with your heart.

What is it that it's yearning for right now?

What would it say to you if you were a very close intimate friend but it trusted and knew that it would belong to you no matter what?

Then imagining in the best way that you can yourself in conversation with your heart,

Simply witnessing this vulnerability or this desire and in a very soft inner voice repeating these statements towards your heart.

May you be surrounded by love and kindness.

May you be gentle and kind with yourself.

May you be free from suffering and live with ease.

So remaining in conversation and relationship with your heart,

Witnessing this vulnerability and repeating these statements with a soft inner voice,

Directing them towards your heart.

May you be surrounded by love and kindness.

May you be gentle and kind with yourself.

May you be free from suffering and live with ease.

Just noticing how you feel within yourself as you have this dialogue with your heart,

As you witness it,

As you hold it,

And as you offer well wishes.

Taking a couple of deeper breaths,

Maybe directing them towards your heart area.

If you like,

Maybe asking your heart what it is that it needs right now.

What is it that it needs from you as its closest and most loving companion?

Just allowing the answer to come to the surface.

You need to search for it.

Just allowing the answer to come when you ask the question and sit in a space of openness.

Once something has become clear,

To feel and sense and hear what it is that your heart,

That vulnerable part of yourself that's seeking to be heard,

To be seen,

To be felt,

To be met.

Once you've heard what it is that it needs from you right now,

Just taking a deep breath in,

Exhaling out your mouth.

Then slowly bringing some gentle movement back to your body.

Coming back to this alive,

This awake,

This living body.

You can search the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself.

And that person is not to be found anywhere.

You yourself,

As much as anybody in the entire universe,

Deserve your own love and affection.

So may you give yourself permission to be your own best friend.

The one who knows so intimately how to love you.

The one who accepts you unconditionally.

And just know also that you know your way back to your heart.

You know how to listen to it,

How to be in conversation with it.

So taking a deep breath in,

Holding,

And then exhaling out your mouth and gently blinking open your eyes.

Reviews

Exactly the nourishment and relationship with self I am cultivating now. Perfect guidance and support.

Wow, I had a beautiful breakthrough during this meditation! Thank you so kindly for this wise and welcoming practice.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this gentle invitation to give ourselves love and kindness. So very needed. 🙏💫

beautiful meditation of self love. Please consider using a low toned bell for people like me with a noise sensitivity. (hyperacusis and tinnitus) 🙏🙏🙏

Simple, softening, thankyou for guiding a beautiful invitation to listen 🙏🏼

Beautiful, powerful and honest. Thank you for leading such a wonderful meditation

so enjoyable...got a laugh and a lilt outta me ar the end!! much love

Love your meditations. They are lovely, calming and a gentle invitation back to myself. Thank you.

This helped me genuinely access a part of me that has been hiding and in need of gentleness.

Beautiful. A perfect morning meditation on my birthday. 🙏🏾🙏🏾

Perfect. Exactly what I needed to hear right now. Thank you 🙏

Thank you for helping me connect to my heart my soul my pure being

Another short yet so powerful meditation. You are a game-changer ! 🙏🏻 thank you🌸💝🦋

Very, very beautiful! Thank you for this soothing and loving meditation 💛✨

Was kind to my heart, my inner child, today. Thankful.

Thanks very much for this beautiful self compassion practice:)

Your voice and the subtle music are so comforting. I will be my own best friend...
🙏

He’s amazing, tender, honest, perfect voice, 10s, 10s, 10s across the board!

Thank you Al. Such a sweet healing practice. 🙏💚🙏
Namaste

Loved this. I especially loved the messages at the end. Thank you!