A Meditation For When You’re Grieving

Grief is a very individual experience.
Some days it hits like a wave, and other days it lingers quietly in the background.
This meditation is a soft space to help you pause, breathe, understand your grief better, and sit with whatever you’re carrying.

It is the perfect opportunity for you to be with yourself as you are.
Whether your grief is fresh or something you've held for years, this moment is for you.

We’ll use the breath to create steadiness, and then help you identify what stage of grief you're in, essentially offering compassion to the parts of you that feel tender, lost, or overwhelmed.
You’re not alone in this.

Transcript

Hey there friend.

I can imagine you are caring a lot right now and I get it.

Grief has a way of settling into every corner of our lives and sometimes it can just feel heavy and confusing or even overwhelming.

You might feel like you're walking through an inescapable maze,

Not even sure which way leads forward,

Where there even is a clear path at all.

And if that's how it feels,

I want you to know that you're not doing anything wrong.

Grief isn't something we solve,

It's something that we learn to sit with and understand.

The fact that you are here right now taking this time shows a lot about you and it's an extremely productive and courageous step in the right direction.

You are choosing to meet your way.

You're allowing yourself the space to notice how it shows up in your body,

In your thoughts and in your emotions.

In this meditation,

I don't want you to feel pressured to feel better or I don't want there to be any expectations to reach a certain outcome.

This is just an invitation for you to slow down,

To reflect and to gently understand how grief is moving through you right now.

Just take this time for yourself.

You deserve care and you deserve compassion as you navigate through this part of your journey.

So find yourself seated comfortably,

Ensure that your back is in an upright position and gently close your eyes.

Just notice how you feel right now.

What emotions are running through your body?

What energies are currently flowing through you?

Where about do you feel the energies most distinctly?

Where in your body do you feel them?

Notice if any muscles may have tensed up.

Feel free to relax those muscles.

Relax your forehead,

Relax your shoulders,

Your arms,

Relax your legs and gently scan through your body.

Notice where you feel heaviness,

Tightness,

Numbness or it could even be that you feel unexpectedly calm and that's okay.

And now let's take a deep breath in through the nose as deep as you can and slowly breathe out and let out some of that negative energy that you may be feeling,

Feeling a little calmer.

And notice your breath,

Notice the rhythm of your breath,

How you feel when you breathe,

The sensations.

Notice where you feel the breath most distinctly.

Where does it come from?

Your chest or your belly?

Take note of how the body moves when you breathe.

Notice the air flowing in and out of your nostrils as you are now feeling more presence.

And welcoming in the moment.

Let's take another deep breath in,

Slowly breathe out knowing that everything is going to be okay.

You're not here to push grief away,

You're here to understand it.

Just notice your breath,

Notice how you feel,

Have any muscles tensed up right now without you noticing.

And however you're feeling it is okay.

Grief is not a straight line,

It doesn't move on command,

It does its own thing,

Doesn't even follow a schedule,

But it does have stages.

So let me outline the seven stages of grief for you to better understand where you currently are.

The first stage is shock,

Which can feel like numbness or disbelief or even disconnection.

Do you notice any emotional numbness in yourself right now?

The second stage is denial.

The mind is protecting you,

Or at least thinks it is.

The third stage is anger.

You feel frustrated,

You feel resentment or blame.

The fourth stage is bargaining,

Which often sounds like if only,

What if?

The mind constantly searching for control after a loss.

The fifth stage is depression.

Now depression and grief is not weakness,

It is the weight of reality settling in.

Sadness,

Exhaustion or even a sense of emptiness.

The sixth stage is testing,

Which is a rebuilding phase.

You take small steps forward,

Moments of curiosity or readiness for small change.

And the seventh stage is acceptance,

Which means that you acknowledge what has happened and you're ready to move on with your life.

I'm not saying that you're forgetting it,

But you are just moving on.

And let me ask you,

Which of those seven stages feel most familiar to you right now?

I'll give you a few moments to reflect and determine which of these stages you currently feel like you're in.

Take your time,

There's no rush.

Once you've determined your stage,

Breathe in deeply and let go of everything that's holding you back.

Take a deep breath in and a deep breath out,

And let go of everything that's holding you back.

Take a deep breath in and a deep breath out,

And let go of everything that's holding you Take a deep breath in and a deep breath out,

And let go of everything that's holding you Now I'm going to ask you a few questions,

Feel free to reflect on each one.

You don't need perfect answers,

Just try your best.

What feels hardest about your grief right now?

What's the hardest part of it right now?

Go ahead and think about that.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself,

It's okay.

Notice how your body responds.

Is there any tension or has any energy made itself present in a certain part of your body?

That's okay.

Identify where it is and relax your muscles.

Let's take a deep breath in and breathe out some of that negative energy reminding you that everything is going to be okay.

And now reflect on the following question.

What are you afraid would happen if you allowed yourself to feel this fully?

It's okay to confront the fears,

Become aware of what it is that is holding us back.

That is human.

Don't worry about it.

Just notice whatever it is that you're afraid of.

You can be as honest as you want.

Let's take another deep breath in.

And breathe out some more of that weight.

Breathe it out,

Helping you feel a little lighter.

And the last question,

What would being kind to yourself look like today?

What would you do to express kindness to yourself?

It could be in the form of an activity.

A meditation.

Self-talk.

Whatever it is,

What can you do for yourself today?

You've been through so much.

You're dealing with so much.

I can only imagine the pain that you're experiencing.

So what can you do now considering that?

To just help alleviate that a little.

To show a little bit of kindness to yourself.

Take a few moments.

And if you feel emotional,

It's okay.

It's okay.

You can just return to your breath.

You are safe to feel.

This is your safe space.

I feel the support beneath you.

The chair that you're seated on.

And notice your breath again.

Notice the rhythm of your breath.

Slow and steady.

Just breathe slowly.

And see if any muscles have tensed up unconsciously.

And if so,

By all means,

Relax those muscles.

Just relax your body.

And this is a reminder that we are not trying to overcome the grief.

We will always be grieving.

But what we're trying to do is learn how to carry it in a way that doesn't make us feel like we're suffering.

Healing doesn't mean that we're forgetting.

It means that we're learning how to live.

While also remembering.

And I believe in your ability to overcome this.

And reach a point that will feel like you are liberated from this grief.

While still honoring that which you have lost.

Take one final slow breath in.

Slowly breathe out.

Notice how you feel when you slowly breathe out.

Notice the temperature in the room.

And before you open your eyes,

Think of something about your life for which you are grateful.

Something that you are grateful for.

It could be something significant or something very small that you may have taken for granted.

And when you're ready,

You may gently open your eyes and welcome back your physical surroundings.

I want to wish you strength,

And courage,

And healing as you navigate through this extremely difficult time.

And lots of love your way.

I know that you will grow from this.

And I know you will come out of this stronger.

You can do it.

From my heart to yours.

Much love.

Reviews

I've had a number of significant losses in the past 18 months...a beloved pet in July of last year. My dad right after Christmas last year. My job of 28 years this past May, thanks to to current US administration's "anti-woke" agenda. My son went through a bad breakup. My daughter came down with mononucleosis this semester and had to miss several weeks of school. My husband is leaving his job of 20+ years for a new one. My mom is still recovering from a variety of health-related issues AND grieving my dad. I have one sibling living in another state, so it's all falling to me and my son to help out with her. It's a LOT to process. This meditation helped. Thank you.

Thank you, Alex, this meditation will be incredibly helpful when going through difficult times like birthdays, anniversaries, and specific holidays like Xmas. This will be my "go-to" meditation from now on 🥰

An accessible and non-judgmental meditation on the stages of grief. It helps guide us to understand the stages reflecting our struggle, as we navigate to acceptance and release. For me, there is no expiration date on grief and/or it's not always linear. However, knowing the stages allows one to be empowered with reassurance and respect.

Thank you for a lovely gentle and tender meditation.
We all have to face grief of one sort of another through life, and it can feel worse during the festive season, so your calm and reassuring words are a great comfort.