Honouring A Loved One On Mount Everest

This is a true story of my own personal experience taking a 2-week trek up Mount Everest to scatter my father's ashes back in November 2018. During this story, I explain the physical, mental and emotional roller coaster ride I went on during the trip. I also discuss the spiritual nature of the journey and the mystical/synchronistic events that took place. I hope you love this story.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to this story,

Honouring a loved one on Mount Everest.

This is a true story based on my own experience that I hope this community will love.

It was one of the most profound experiences of my life,

Up there with the birth of my daughter and my first experience with the plant medicine Mother Ayahuasca.

Mount Everest is the tallest and most famous mountain on planet Earth.

In 2018 I was lucky enough to climb up the great mountain and fell in love with what I feel are the most beautiful and sacred spots our planet has to offer.

I am fortunate to have done quite a bit of travelling so I have other areas to compare this to and obviously it's completely subjective but I did find Everest in particular the most stunning for natural beauty.

In this audio I'll tell you the story of my trip and the details of the mountain that stuck out to me.

I'll also discuss the physical,

Mental and emotional challenges as well as the spiritual and mystical side of the mountain.

I hope you enjoy this story.

My journey started 18 months before I took the first step on the mountain in a tragic way.

In March 2017 I lost my father to cancer.

As you can imagine this was a traumatic and devastating experience for many many reasons.

One of those was the fact that I was his carer for the last four months of his life and had to watch my dad's strong and healthy body slowly and brutally degrade and disintegrate as well as his mental capacity and his morale.

Anyone who has experienced this with a loved one knows how extremely painful that is to watch and see unfold.

I was very fortunate to have a wonderful dad who I love very much and had lots of wonderful memories with which will never die.

Not long before he passed I had an idea pop into my head,

A divine spark if you like,

To scatter my dad's ashes up Mount Everest.

I instantly thought wow this would be such a beautiful thing to do and a fitting way to honour my dad's life.

Especially as he was so tall it seemed right to put him up the tallest mountain on earth.

He was 6'4 I'm only 5'10.

Yeah he was a really big guy so it felt right to put him up a big big mountain.

It was an uncomfortable conversation to have with my dad but I wanted his blessing rather than doing it purely out of my own will.

I knew he didn't have long left to live when this idea popped into my mind.

When I asked him if he liked the idea you could tell he was really sad and quite uncomfortable to discuss his passing but he was touched and very happy with the idea and gave me his approval.

Less than a fortnight later I lost my dad.

As you can imagine the year following that everything was still incredibly raw.

Flying off to the Nepalese mountains wasn't high on my priority list.

Once the dust had settled a little I started to think about the conversation we had and put out the feelers to some friends about whether they would like to join me.

Two of my oldest and closest friends,

Sam and Laurie both wanted to join me which I was ecstatic about as they both knew my dad very well too so that was important to me for the journey.

A couple of weeks before we set off another friend of mine Cameron decided to jump on board at the last minute after a catch up in a cafe.

This was synchronistic as he had told his boss that week that he'd love to do Everest one day and he had no idea that we were going.

So when I invited him at the last minute he jumped at the chance.

I loved and respected this spontaneous approach from Cameron.

When we arrived in Kathmandu the Nepalese capital it was really exciting.

We had some dinner at a rooftop cafe overlooking the city.

In the background you could see the mountains,

A giant little Buddha statue and a gorgeous bright orange sunset lighting up the sky.

There was also birds flying over the mountains with a gorgeous backdrop.

The next day we were off to Luckler.

Luckler is the only place you can fly to on every spotted plane.

It is famous in its own right as being one of the most dangerous airports in the world due to being in between two mountains paired with a tiny landing strip.

I was more nervous about this than actually climbing the mountain.

It was a tiny old plane that could only seat about 12 people.

The views over the Himalayas were incredible as we flew in.

Just an absolute vastness of mountain ranges and icy snow.

For four almost fearless young men it was quite exhilarating landing in Luckler on the tiny strip.

After landing we were straight on it and got a solid 6-7 hours of walking done on day one.

We had chosen a 13 day summit to Kalapathar and back which is the quickest option you can do due to altitude climatisation.

Something I learned to respect later on in the climb.

Not only that it's around a 100 mile trek to Kalapathar in total.

The first challenge I had to overcome was a serious knee injury.

I was training for a half marathon a few weeks before the trip and damaged my knee ligament so I couldn't train before flying out.

The first two days it was incredibly sore and I was limping up the rocks.

My heart sunk as I knew this would make the challenge 10 times more tough than it was already set to be.

I told myself I was getting to the top no matter what.

So it was about to be a horrifically tough two weeks if my knee didn't recover or it may have even become impossible.

I prayed after night two that my knee would be okay so I could keep my promise to my dad.

On day three I purchased some walking sticks to move the weight off my knees and into my arms.

What was strange was the pain seemed to have completely disappeared anyway.

It was almost a miracle.

The two days before every step was painful.

I continued to use the sticks anyway to put as little strain on my knees as possible.

It felt like the spirit of my dad,

The mountain or both was challenging me yet helping me and this theme continued throughout the trip.

It felt quite stern yet playful.

We had a resident yogi with us on the trip as another mountain guide and yoga teacher.

This was delightful news I didn't even know it was an option but two Norwegian ladies in our group had booked him onto our tour so that was fantastic.

I'd recently been getting into meditation and yoga so I knew that the physical and mental benefits would be significant for our trek.

His name was Shantiputra Sarojan.

We called him Shosen as a nickname or the Shosen one which he enjoyed.

Shosen was an interesting and mystical character with deep spiritual knowledge.

He took his practice very seriously and taught us twice a day once in the morning and once in the evening before dinner.

This helped loosen our muscles which was much needed as we would walk on average six hours a day uphill.

It also helped keep us centred and calm in a challenging environment and I believe that it did wonders for my knee and was maybe part of the reason it recovered so well.

One night Shosen taught us about different masters he has encountered and shared his knowledge about Buddhism and Hinduism and general spirituality.

We also talked a lot about numerology.

For those who don't know angel numbers are recurring sequences of numbers that have significant spiritual meaning such as number 11 meaning new beginnings amongst other things.

Cameron and I had been seeing the number 11 a lot before the trip and discussed this on the way to Nepal.

Now this is where it gets a little spooky.

We landed in Luckla on the 11th day of the 11th month November in 2018.

2 plus 0 plus 1 plus 8 equals 11 and we arrived at 11.

11am.

I'm not lying here now that sounds outrageous but you can ask the other guys on the trip if you don't believe it.

Anyway back to Shosen.

On the night we had this deep mystical conversation it included a conversation about numerology and Shosen told us he too had noticed the date we were starting the trek and found it interesting.

We stayed up later than usual in the tea house that night and we were the only people up left with a tiny light on and some boiling water in a pan as a heater.

By the way it was minus 20 degrees at night on the mountain.

We drank plenty of tea to keep us warm.

When Shosen went to bed he took his room key out of his pocket and what room number was he in?

You guessed it number 11.

My nerves about the climb ahead were simmering.

It felt like the universe was on our side and everything was aligning.

Those nerves were largely because earlier that day we had learned of two people who had sadly died on the mountain below base camp.

We knew this was quite common above base camp where it's highly dangerous but hearing of people dying much lower was sobering.

One man suffered badly with altitude sickness as his body couldn't handle the increased pressure.

His friend found him dead the next morning in his sleeping bag.

I can't imagine what that must have been like.

The other passing was a young girl in her early 20s.

She was doing some rock mountain climbing and took off her safety harness at the top to take a selfie.

Unfortunately she slipped and fell to her death in front of her father and sister.

Both stories were truly tragic to hear and a timely reminder to be mindful of the dangers of the mountain and respect it at all times.

People who didn't seem to have any fear of death or anything for that matter were the Sherpas.

Have you ever seen a 50 kilo human carry 80 kilos on their head up a mountain for hours on end?

I never thought I would but I did and I was absolutely impressed to say the least.

Not only that,

They're often faster than you and pass you on the mountain on the drop side without any verbal warning.

This means if you did spontaneously step to the right you would knock them off a 100 foot plus cliff.

I found this bizarre but to them it was normal and that's what I love about visiting other cultures.

There are a million ways to view and approach life and often we can get so caught up in how we approach life and how that's the only way and the best way.

Nepal and Mount Everest taught me so much and so many different ways to approach life as have many other countries I've visited.

Their culture was notably far different from the United Kingdom as you can imagine.

Firstly Nepal's native religions are Buddhism and Hinduism,

Two religions I've always resonated with much more than others.

On the mountain there are temples you can visit.

One temple is about 4,

000 meters above sea level.

We went inside and there were around 20 monks chanting mantras to bless humanity with peaceful,

Compassionate and loving energy.

It was like something off a movie stepping into that temple,

So surreal and magical in their beautiful clothing.

No wonder the people on the mountain were so friendly and there was such a mystical feel about the whole thing.

On the way up there were mantras engraved into rocks for miles upon end that were hundreds of years old.

There were also lucky bells yet to turn as you walked past to be blessed with the luck of the mountain.

Other than that the mountain simply had a really powerful energy about it that you can't put into words.

I've climbed plenty of other mountains but this felt completely different,

Almost from a different dimension or realm.

Another aspect I loved about the Everest culture was the food.

The local delicacy was called Dal Bhat and that composed of rice,

Lentils and is often served with a vegetable curry,

Spicy vegetables and greens and sometimes a piece of papadam or chapati.

Chapati is a type of bread.

This was the perfect fuel we needed for continuous days of climbing.

As it was their local delicacy there was a unique,

Eat as much as you can culture with the Dal Bhat with no extra cost.

We ate Dal Bhat pretty much every night,

Sometimes two or three heat portions.

It was very tasty and nutritious.

As I say with the culture if you ordered the Dal Bhat it was almost as if they respected that you were eating their local food and you could kind of eat an unlimited amount.

It was the perfect fuel for our journey.

In Namtou Bazaar,

Often referred to as the highest town in the world,

We visited the highest pub in the world at 3,

450 metres above sea level.

Of course there was an Irish bar.

Here we met a crazy Australian guy who had told us he had climbed the mountain in his runners.

I think this was a you had to be there funny story because he looked like he'd just come off a skateboard track and I find the Aussie accent hilarious.

Namtou is such a cool town.

We also met a Nepalese guy who had a stall in the town who had fled Tibet during the Chinese invasion and told us how some of his friends and family were murdered running across the mountain to get into the port.

It was a harrowing story.

How can we be so cruel to each other?

And I hadn't read much about the history of this story so it was really eye opening to learn more.

As we moved higher up the mountain we had challenges of our own.

As mentioned nightly temperatures were as low as minus 20 degrees.

The walls of the guest houses were paper thin and there was no heating to keep us warm so it was a real struggle to keep warm and snug at night.

What was even more of a struggle,

At least for me,

Was the altitude.

One day my altitude sickness was so bad I got stuck at the back of the pack of our group.

I could only walk about 50 metres at a time without falling into a rock to try and catch my breath.

The rest couldn't be too long due to the intense cold.

I had to keep moving.

Once I got to the next guest house to meet the others my oxygen level was at 55%,

15% less than the minimum safe level for human health at 70%.

People commented at how illo looked,

Pale and with veins almost popping out of my head.

Luckily,

Shosen taught me a unique meditation technique that eased the pressure on my head.

Whilst the issue remained for the final leg of the mountain,

It was not as severe after that and I was able to walk at a sustainable pace and was able to get a reasonable night's sleep.

On the 16th of November,

What would have been my dad's 62nd birthday,

We had a rest day.

My plan was always to scatter half of the ashes I had with me on his birthday and upon arrival to Nepal I was meant to declare his ashes at the airport and pay a fee.

Dad was a peaceful but truly rebellious character,

A trait he passed down to his son.

I decided to smuggle the ashes into Nepal in his honour which was successful,

Without paying.

Anyway,

It was our rest day but our guide said there was a nice view at the top of this mountain nearby so we decided to head up.

It was good to our client but they were right,

The view was indescribably beautiful.

We were looking down on the clouds,

The sun was shining brightly in the sky,

There were icy blue lakes below,

Incredible snow topped mountains surrounding us.

To top it off,

A huge Vulcan swooped from one mountain top to the next,

Perfect.

It was meant to be I felt.

I scattered the ashes there with the group which of course was a really emotional moment.

The group all gave me a hug which was comforting and kind,

We bonded really well on the trip.

I needed a moment to myself so I walked back down the mountain on my own.

When I looked up there was a perfect smile in the clouds,

I couldn't believe my eyes.

Tears poured down my face and memories of my dad flashed through my mind.

It was a healing experience after an incredibly painful 18 months.

I saved the other half of the ashes for our target destination,

Kalapatar.

Kalapatar is a mountain 5,

600 metres above sea level.

What's fascinating about that is that humans can adjust and survive anywhere below 5,

500 metres,

Which is why base camp is specifically 5,

300 metres above sea level.

People can live and take in oxygen at that level.

On the day of Kalapatar,

Our guys didn't want us to go up as they thought it was too cloudy,

But we were determined and persuaded them otherwise.

We knew the skies would open up and we would get a perfect view of the top of Everest,

Which Kalapatar is famous for.

This faith was repaid and the spirit of the mountain was kind enough to give us a postcard sunset shining on the top of the mountain.

The four of us celebrated at the top with hugs all round.

It was an amazing feeling to finally get there after 9 days of trials and tribulations.

Plus all the weeks and months of anticipation building up to the trip.

We reached it at the same time as a solo Japanese guy.

It was nice for him to have people to share the moment with and vice versa.

He was ecstatic and we all shared hugs and had lots of photos at the top.

What was funny about scattering the other half of the ashes at this point was that there was a big gust of wind and the ashes went all over my friend Cameron.

Knowing my dad's sense of humour he would have found that hilarious.

It was a fitting moment.

The next day we trekked to Everest base camp,

Which was a bit underwhelming as it was empty.

Nobody attempts to get to the top of Everest that time of year.

From there we were desperate for lower altitude so walked and ran a whopping 26 miles in a single day to get half way back down.

That's the equivalent to a marathon.

There is so much more I'd have liked to go into detail on this trip in the story.

The wild night in the pub on the way back down,

The awesome clear night skies,

The mountain yaks,

The characters we met.

Going 7 days without a shower,

Our tour guides,

Our fellow trekkers and more.

But then it would be a novel so I'll leave it there for now.

I'm so glad I did this trip,

It was probably the most fulfilling thing I've ever done.

The best thing about climbing a mountain is that you realise you can achieve anything if you put your mind to it.

And whilst you might struggle on the way,

You might be closer to the top of your mountain than you think.

And it will be so worth it at the top when you get that beautiful view.

The trip was full of drama,

Huge highs,

Devastating lows,

Emotions,

Overcoming fears and lots of laughs and support with people I'm blessed to call my friends.

I also raised over £2,

000 for a charity that cared for my dad called Compton Care,

Which was a heartwarming cherry on top of a 5,

600m piece of iced cake.

Thank you so much for listening to my story and big love to you all.

Reviews

Thank you Alex for sharing your beautiful story - I love it, especially the spiritual parts,eg: your yogi fellow traveller and the Sherpas and Buddhist communities. 🙏❤️

Dear Alex, thank you for sharing your honouring experience for your Father, and the learnings you gained through this process. Sending good wishes to you. 🌻