Hey there,
It's Adam.
Today I wanted to talk with you about grief.
Now this is a big topic and it's definitely not easily tackled in a short meditation,
But I hope that this practice can help start a conversation for you to have with yourself about your own grief process and experience.
Ideally,
This can help you move through the grieving process on your own and at your own pace.
This meditation is not a substitute for therapy,
But is meant to complement your grief work.
To begin,
Please find a comfortable shape that helps you remain alert,
But where you can also feel supported.
This might be seated on a cushion or a bolster,
In a chair,
Or reclining with props such as bolsters or blocks.
Wherever you find yourself,
Spend a few moments noticing the support you have put in place for yourself during this practice.
And take a few even breaths to ground and settle in.
While you practice some even,
Slow breathing,
I hope to take a few moments to discuss the topic of grief.
To start,
I want to normalize whatever you feel right now related to your grief.
Some are saying that right now,
In the pandemic,
We are in a collective grief experience.
Our way of life has taken a dramatic turn,
And we were likely not prepared for the extent to which our lives have changed.
So the feelings you have right now,
They make sense.
Now,
Not everyone will understand.
They see your grief and likely cannot handle it,
So they might invalidate or refute your grief as a way to reject their own grief experience.
This says a lot more about them than it does you.
There is no right way to handle grief,
Except for what helps you to navigate through the emotions,
Feelings,
And sensations.
I invite you to find exercises,
Practices,
Or rituals that help you feel your emotions in a safe and grounded way.
This might look like a creative outlet,
Talking with others in a supportive group or individually about your feelings,
Or spending time with your feelings in a quiet space.
Whatever you do,
It can be helpful to find a way to release those feelings slowly.
Yeah,
I know,
This usually involves some tears,
Some difficult sensations,
Some uncomfortable feelings,
But it's all a part of the process.
There is a quote attributed to Jamie Anderson that says this,
Grief,
I've learned,
Is really just love.
It's all the love you want to give but cannot.
All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes,
The lump in your throat,
And the hollow part of your chest.
Grief is just love with no place to go.
Now,
I don't know about you,
But I find this quote incredibly validating.
As I have aged,
Grief has become a sensory experience whether I want it to or not.
Have you ever noticed where your grief lives?
I'll be really honest with you here,
I do not like these sensations.
I have learned,
However,
How to feel them safely.
Once I allow myself to feel them in a safe and supportive space,
I find that afterward,
I do feel better,
Tired but better.
Bit by bit the sensations decrease in intensity,
And the grief experience turns to one where I might feel sad,
But it is more tolerable.
More of just a longing for what has been lost,
And less of the sharp pain that I have been experiencing.
I am able to smile more about the happy memories,
And not just weep over the sad ones.
In order to help with this today,
I hope you will continue breathing,
And again I will remind you of your supportive space you have created for yourself today.
I invite you to just notice where that support is felt.
If you can,
Focus your attention mindfully on where you make contact with those supports.
Consider sending gratitude for those supports,
And to yourself for making that support possible.
If it feels okay,
Sit with that gratitude for a few more moments while we breathe together.
Next I invite you to notice where you feel your grief typically.
If you are like me,
This might be in your throat,
In or around your heart,
Behind your eyes,
Or somewhere else.
If it feels okay,
Consider bringing your attention to that part of your body now.
Maybe you don't notice a particular area affected by grief,
And that is okay.
If that is you,
Just consider bringing your attention to your heart's space,
Or whatever makes the most sense.
Whatever part of the body you are attending to,
Some also find it helpful to touch or make contact with that part of themselves,
Maybe with your hands,
Or just hold your hands above that spot maybe.
If that is not helpful,
Feel free to just focus your attention to that area.
Whatever you are,
Keep breathing and noticing that part of your body.
Next I invite you to visualize that part of your body in your mind's eye.
In whatever way it makes most sense,
Consider making physical contact with that part of your body.
Depending on your body and your needs,
You might just touch it,
Or maybe you will want to hold it in some way,
Or even give it a gentle hug,
A squeeze,
Or just some attention.
Keep breathing and just notice what happens when you comfort your own grief for a moment.
If it feels okay,
Just notice what it's like to allow grief to happen,
To feel it,
To be with it for a moment.
Without judgment or expectation,
Just be.
If this is really intense for you,
Consider backing off a bit and choosing what level of contact is right for you as you continue to breathe.
Feel free to take as much time here as you would like.
You will know when you need a break,
Or when you are ready to move on for today.
Like many similar techniques,
This is a practice that you might want or need to return to again in order to continue the process.
Before you continue with your day,
However,
I would encourage you to take a moment to do some sort of pleasant activity that helps you feel grounded and present in your body.
Perhaps this would be a breath practice,
Some sort of mindful movement,
Some rest,
Or reaching out to a supportive someone in your life who might understand and provide what you need.
Whatever you do,
I thank you for taking time for yourself today and attending to your needs.
Be well.
