Food For The Heart

Through focusing on the impermanent nature of sense of contact, there is a shift to a more reliable refuge of awareness. From this base, we can accept the cascade of self without aversion or criticism. Things, even unskillful mind-states, have to arise before they can pass away; we have to experience self, but as impermanent. The way out of the reactivity is through kindness and mutuality.

Transcript

There are two fundamental needs.

They are reflected in our body,

Reflected in many respects,

The safety,

Protection,

Ability to shelter,

Refuge.

A sense of the,

In bodily terms I was talking today just about the skin layers.

Now you have the hard,

Tough skin and the soft skin on the body.

The back stuff you protect yourself with and the soft stuff that you seek.

Nourishment,

Sensitivity.

So,

You know,

Protection,

One thing,

But it requires shelter,

Safety,

And then within that nourishment.

Maybe the priority is safety,

Not to be taken for granted.

It's more than nourishment.

If you are sitting in a field with a mango and a tiger,

Guess where your attention goes?

Forget the mango,

It might not.

No tiger would eat the mango.

So that comes first,

Doesn't it?

Then when we are safe,

Then we can start feeding ourselves,

Nourishing.

Safety is not to be taken for granted.

Because we are so susceptible to sort of fear.

It's not just the natural fear,

Fear of trees falling on us,

Fear of earthquakes,

Fear of lightning,

Fear of such things.

There is not much of that really.

It's mostly social fear,

Fear of other people,

Fear of being blamed,

Rejected,

Kicked out,

Abused,

Punished,

Twisted,

Distorted,

Manipulated.

Because this does happen.

So there is always that sense of guardedness.

And also fear of ourselves.

Am I going to go nuts?

Am I going to lose it?

Will my mind become unstable?

Perhaps there is no future for me.

So a lot of anxiety in life where actually we have managed to more or less dismiss a lot of the natural sources of fear.

We have kind of conquered nature,

But we haven't conquered fear.

We have increased it.

Now I was just saying,

Using this sense of a kind of withdrawal to,

From the sense contact back into the inner qualities of the body,

Breathing in,

Breathing out,

And firming up with that.

This is something we can always come back to.

Nobody gets there.

It's a safe place.

And it also refreshes us,

Gives us food,

Gives us refreshment.

And the other qualities of food,

Food for the heart.

And this is where the qualities of good will,

Metta,

Kindness,

Compassion,

These wonderful,

Powerful intentions that we can generate.

You know,

The only thing,

Everything,

The only thing that we recreate is this.

Everything else belongs to the earth.

Bodies,

Clothes,

Plants,

Trees,

Bricks,

Everything else comes from the earth.

The only thing that we can really produce is good will.

That's our job.

Good will,

Compassion,

Rejoicing,

Happiness in other people's welfare.

This is something we can generate.

This is our job really.

And sometimes we,

You know,

Expect that.

These are lovely qualities because they are to others as to myself.

The quality of,

We get the feeling of intentionality,

Of beautiful intentionality.

And we're nourished by that feeling,

The beauty of that heart feeling.

It's a very necessary and powerful meditation.

Because you begin to sense there's another place for feeling other than just sight,

Sound,

You know,

Stuff that comes to us.

So if we're dependent upon good feeling from what comes from outside us,

Then we're always going to be hunting round,

Aren't we?

And probably,

You know,

Quarrelling,

Grabbing,

Disputing who gets the best bits of the resources,

Sensory fields.

It can get very ugly.

And Buddha said there's a danger in this form of sense contact.

Because even though most of us would agree on generosity and virtue,

People lose it.

The feeling that arises from sense contact,

It's not all wrong,

It's just it's hazardous.

You know,

People trample each other in their January sales.

They get the good stuff,

You know.

The feel-goods and all the competition and the ratcheting up desires to buy the new good stuff.

And you begin to recognise,

Well,

How long does it actually last?

The good feeling comes from sense contact,

How long does it last?

Yeah,

There's a burst.

And then another one.

This can sound kind of miserable,

Like,

You know,

Disapproval of peanut butter sandwiches or dancing.

Sinful.

It's not sinful,

It's just it's kind of pretty slim food.

And we're hanging on to that,

You know,

We're always reaching out and losing ourselves.

But the other basis of feeling,

You know,

Born of the heart.

Now,

This is something you can sustain,

Doesn't cost anything,

There's no competition.

Doesn't use up resources,

Planetary resources.

And it makes you feel good.

And it's good for other people.

So this is the quality we very much encourage.

It nourishes us,

Nourishes others.

It is conducive to skillful mind states.

It's conducive to sharing,

To forgiveness,

To reconciliation,

To letting go.

It's conducive to skillfulness,

To harmony.

And it feels good.

So,

You know,

The Buddha never said we should try to cancel feeling,

But you begin to shift your source of feeling to something that's more reliable,

And more long term,

And doesn't use up anything.

It's going to make sense,

Doesn't it?

So there are various basis for this,

And one is the basis we've just touched into,

The Brahma Viharas,

Or the measureless states of mind,

The minds that don't measure things,

In terms of who's better or worse,

They just say,

Well,

Whatever,

Whoever,

Near or far,

Good or bad,

Bright or dull,

Beautiful or ugly,

Doesn't matter,

We're not measuring things,

It's just bring it out,

You know.

So it's a very abundant,

Rich quality.

And it's good to just cultivate this to others and to myself.

This is one important base,

The other important basis is the basis of samadhi,

Which is based upon pleasure,

Subtle,

Inward pleasure,

Pleasure based from withdrawing into the energy fields,

With a lovely,

Calm,

Steady,

Nourishing,

Abiding.

But let's talk a little bit about metta,

Goodwill.

To others as to myself.

These are markers in the all-encompassing world,

These are all the kind of markers,

What do we mean by that?

To others?

To what we experience as other people,

Recognizing these are all just,

You know,

What happens in our minds and hearts,

We carry memories,

We carry impressions of others,

And these can be tinted with indifference,

With what I call the it qualities,

You know,

Just there she is,

There's the cook,

There's the gardener,

There's the driver,

There's one of those,

The it,

Rather than something that's more you based,

Acknowledging respectfully the life,

The vitality,

The karma,

The qualities of another human being as myself,

Just as I am,

You know.

Suffering,

Born,

Enjoys happiness,

Does not enjoy unhappiness,

Seeks shelter,

Seeks nourishment,

You know,

We begin to flesh people out,

Give them the full dimension,

With all the wobbly bits as well,

You know.

To others as to myself,

And recognize when I come to myself,

Well,

You know,

We can carry around a particular impression or image as you get closer up to it,

As you're contemplating the process,

The direct experience of myself,

It's a cascade,

Isn't it?

It's a kaleidoscope of impressions,

Sensations,

Energies,

Concerns,

You know,

Negative bits,

Positive bits,

Happy bits,

Crumpled bits,

Ebullient bits,

You know,

Moving around.

So all of that,

We embrace all of that with a mind of goodwill,

Or at least a mind that doesn't contain ill will.

Now this,

You know,

They do it.

And,

You know,

What is ill will or hostility?

Ill will is a kind of a sense of resistance to,

Judgment of,

Unwillings to be with,

A lack of empathy with.

We cut off,

And surely we cut off pieces of our own experience as shameful or wrong or stupid or whatever,

You know.

But they're still there.

So we can have all kinds of shadow stuff going on.

In other words,

It's there,

And yet it's not fully allowed.

Negative thoughts,

Fears,

Prejudices,

Worries,

You know,

Nasty passions,

Spiteful moods and stuff,

You know.

And with goodwill you're not saying,

Hey,

This is really great,

Let's roll it out into action.

But just recognizing,

Oh,

This is the disturbance in the mind.

It needs to be held very carefully and healed with goodwill.

Means,

If we can be open and caring and just put good energy through,

The difficult pieces,

They begin to unfold and change.

They cannot be otherwise,

Other than that.

The nature of phenomena is to be changing,

The nature of patterns is to be changing.

Outcomes things seem to be permanent.

Outcomes,

I see in some ways,

Aspects of myself still seem to be the same thing I've been trying to get away from for the last 25 years,

Because it hasn't actually been fully allowed to enter and be accepted.

So part of our meditation practice is just this,

Isn't it?

You know,

They're saying that realization in the stream,

That everything that arises is in nature to pass away.

But it has to arise before it can pass away.

And some things I really like to have pass away before they arise.

You know,

Just keep passing away quick,

Hurry up.

No,

It doesn't go away,

It's got to arise.

You know,

So some of the fear or the regret,

Fully sensed,

Felt,

Feeling it,

Moving into one's consciousness.

And who we seem to be in those difficult places.

Sometimes you can always see yourself,

Get an impression of yourself when you're in a difficult place,

Kind of shut down or summoned or hurt,

Failing,

Having failed.

So the recognition of not-self is both an understanding that there isn't a single unified quality or characteristic that is myself.

There's a whole range of of dummers or moments of experience and there are patterns,

Patterns of experience that are flowing,

Changing and repeating.

So certainly though we say there's no coherent single unified self,

There's a lot of self imagery and a lot of self processes that seem to be me that are affecting the mind.

This is called karma,

Old karma.

It's not happening.

So,

You know,

Not-self is there to help us to handle who we seem to be with a sense of dispassion and openness,

Rather than kind of,

Oh goodness,

Here I am again.

And then the possibility for just beginning to develop kindness,

Goodwill,

Compassion,

And gladness and equanimity.

And gladness,

Mudita,

Is sometimes overlooked and it's the ability to recognize and recollect the good,

The one that's done.

Good qualities that have arisen through this mind.

Anamodana is the phrase,

Anamodana.

This is to rejoice in the goodness of oneself,

It's arisen in one's own consciousness,

And rejoice in the goodness of others.

This is very important,

Cultivation.

It leads to a sense,

It keeps things balanced.

Keeps things balanced.

And probably further,

Just the nourishing aspect is considered a standard recollection that every day one should recollect the good one has done.

The good one has done quite easily slips away and we're often left with the regretful.

This is because we haven't been able to let that arise and pass,

So it's kind of stuck.

With shame or fear or guilt,

Regret.

So we trend around what's painful,

Something tries to defend ourselves from the painful by kind of shutting it,

Closing it.

So you sort of push the elephant under the carpet.

And then there's always another one,

Another elephant under the carpet.

It's like the Himalayas.

So what happens is all the vitality is kind of under that carpet in negative forms.

We're sort of living in this rather,

I'm okay,

I'm fine,

Thank you very much level of getting by.

And meanwhile there's all this stuff under the surface.

So sometimes,

You know,

Meditations often these creatures start to come out.

And once they've started to come out,

You can't shut them back again.

There's just not enough carpet left.

So there's the time when we say,

Okay,

You know,

This too can be experienced and we begin to recognize the only way out is to relax,

Kindness,

Goodwill,

Compassion.

Just like me,

Just like others,

These are the phenomena that happen.

Just like others,

Just like myself.

And to others,

The only way out is mutuality,

Is the sense of the seeing the wholeness.

This is what all human beings experience.

If you can,

You've got a difficult feeling on emotion,

If you can put a word on it,

You can be sure that everybody else has that,

Otherwise there wouldn't be a word for it.

Because you didn't create language.

So often these words are pretty standard words like hatred,

Guilt,

Regret,

Messed up,

Failure.

So this is a word for it,

It's because everybody else has it,

Otherwise there wouldn't be a word for it.

So,

Why are you trying to shove it under the water,

Why are you so special about you?

Because I want to be above all this.

This is a self-image,

I want to be above all this.

And really you have to clean out,

Just be patiently cleaning out.

And there's nothing you have to be,

Nothing you have to become,

Nothing you have to be above.

You just clean out the forgotten,

The difficult,

And that's what you do.

You don't have to add anything to yourself,

You just keep cleaning out what's wounded or hurt,

Difficult,

And you're left with a lovely,

Bright space.

And there's room in that,

There's room to take on difficulties of sense contact,

Difficulties of life.

So this is really important.

And Muddita is a recognition of any time you've been able to do that,

Any time you've been able to clear,

Any time you've been able to bring forth good intentionality.

So you just start to make a little list.

It's called conscious recollection,

When you're touching into the intentionality of the Jitta.

So you start to recollect,

I do this every day,

Generally recollect.

You know,

Father,

Someone brought me a tray of tea today.

Didn't have to be that way,

Did it?

Somebody thanked me.

Didn't have to,

Did they?

There was a beautiful intention there.

And for myself,

Recognizing,

Well,

You know,

I,

How you start to see even the things that you didn't do,

You know,

Like the negative stuff you could have done and didn't do,

You start to see,

I could have,

But I did this instead.

So you take,

This is a value,

The precious quality of seelah.

It gives you something you can say,

Yeah,

You know,

I could have shouted.

I didn't,

I could have got annoyed.

I didn't,

You know,

I got stuck in the post office trying to pick up a parcel,

I happened to write an affidavit to prove I was,

I could have blown my top.

I didn't,

Good.

So you start to check,

Check these things out and make them conscious.

So we begin to rejoice and feel the fullness of our goodwill,

The goodwill of others,

And it becomes a source of nourishment and pleasure.

This is really important.

Food.

When we're fed,

When the heart is fed,

It's no longer so hungry.

When it's not hungry,

It's not reaching out.

It's not restless,

It's satisfied.

When it's not hungry,

It's not reaching out.

It's not running out.

It's happy.

A happy mind settles and we provide this body place,

A place for it to settle,

You know.

You can sit there,

You can settle in here.

You can settle into this steady energy.

So let's have some time for practice,

Direct practice.

Bringing to mind,

Recollecting the very quality of what goodwill is,

The sense of an open heart and the wish to nourish,

Compassion,

The wish to protect,

Mudita,

The wish to enjoy,

Equanimity,

The sense of trust,

Openness and trust.

Let things be the way they are,

Let them unfold.

So any of these avenues,

And the Buddha said any of these are avenues to the deathless.

So they're not small things,

They're very wide-reaching qualities.

And we cultivate,

Okay,

Just open those doors,

Goodwill.

Who comes in,

What comes in?

What is there that needs to be nourished,

That feels unfed,

Starved,

Hungry?

What is there that needs to be gently protected,

That feels wounded or bruised or hurt or,

You know?

What is there that needs to be rejoiced in,

Needs to be respected and honored and felt glad for?

What is there that comes in when you just open up to trust,

Openness,

Equanimity,

Let things happen,

Come and go?

So you open up any of those doors and invite elements of self,

Elements of others,

Near or far,

Alive or dead,

Human,

Animal,

Whatever,

And,

Uh,

Cultivate.

Reviews

So helpful! Thank you! Brahma Viharas bring positive mind states intentionally, so we're not just reacting to what comes up.

An uplifting talk on the benefits of the Brahma Viharas.

Wise and helpful. Graduate level Buddhism and also Buddhism 101.

Thank you for this precious teaching - it is a challenge to stay focused with the underlying noise of the audio 🙏🏽💖🙏🏽

Great life advice offered with kindness 🙏🏼

So rich and full of wisdom. Wonderful, not easy, yet dense with knowledge. Full of nourishment to ruminate over and over. So thankful!