Coming To The Robe

Referring to his own past experience of lacking restraint and continually filling up, Ajahn Sucitto describes the process of training the citta. When trained properly, the citta becomes released from its old habits. Its quality of awareness becomes clear.

Transcript

So we come to evening puja,

And this is like a reference point.

We come back again to the same place,

The triple gem,

The refuge,

The recollection of the Buddha,

The Dhamma,

The Sangha,

The encouragement to begin again,

To keep ways,

Clearing the past,

Beginning again.

So in this evening,

We have what's called in English,

Forgiveness,

Asking forgiveness,

And whatever that may seem to mean to you,

But it really means we acknowledge how unstable the citta can be,

How it can run and sink and race,

And how it carries effects from previous actions,

Memories,

Habits,

Incarnations.

And this we want to clear away,

To liberate the citta from old karma.

So some of this is just the citta is fascinated by sense contact,

By sights and sounds.

And we've been through this many times,

Many lifetimes.

We can't remember previous lifetimes maybe,

But in this life,

How many things have we seen,

Touched,

Tasted,

Heard,

Smelt with our noses?

By the time you're about 20,

You've probably heard it all,

Seen it all,

All that they can do.

You know,

The pleasantness,

Qualities that they can bring by the time you're 20,

25,

You've seen it.

You've been presented.

It doesn't go any further.

So in my own life,

When I was about 20,

24,

You know,

You can think of enough.

24,

I want to find something else.

I've seen things with the eyes,

Beautiful things,

Interesting things,

Lovely things.

I've tasted,

I've touched beautiful things,

Pleasant things,

Agreeable things,

Delightful things.

I've had great ideas,

I've read many things,

Studied many things,

Interesting thoughts,

Wonderful thoughts,

Delightful thoughts,

Thoughts you can play with.

Where does it go?

And I look around where I lived,

Everybody's doing the same thing.

Where do they go?

It's round and round,

The sense world.

It's going round and round.

Is this it?

25 years old already?

Is this it?

Is this all?

Just go on doing this until you drop dead.

Is this it?

Is this all?

So I look for,

Try to find some other,

Something else.

They say,

Some people say,

Oh,

You know,

You can meditate.

What's that?

Well,

You,

I don't know,

You look at something for a long time,

You meditate.

You look at something,

Just get bored,

Get bored.

What's that?

I need a teacher.

So I thought,

You can't find anyone in England.

So I travel,

Travel,

Travel.

And by time I travel,

I went to all the way through Europe,

Slowly see many things,

Eat many things,

Drink many things,

Feel many things,

Go through Turkey,

Iran,

Afghanistan,

Pakistan,

India,

See many things,

Taste many things,

Enjoy many things,

And all the time getting more and more bored.

Is this it?

And I would notice when I get to somewhere,

First of all,

I get bored within five days,

Get bored,

Go somewhere else.

After a while,

Two days,

I get bored,

Go somewhere else.

After a while,

One day,

Get bored,

Go somewhere else.

After a while,

As soon as I get there,

Uh-oh,

Already bored.

Another place,

Mountain,

Trees,

Sea,

Food,

Sights,

Sound,

Touch,

Flavor,

People,

Talk,

Talk about the past,

Talk about the future,

Talk about this,

Talk about that.

Still the citta doesn't know what else to do.

It's still looking.

So then I came to Thailand.

And landed in Bangkok.

Oh,

Help,

Too big.

I get out,

I go up to Chiang Mai.

And somewhere there I got a very small book.

And one page,

It was a book,

A traveler's book,

On one page you had Thailand,

Like half a page.

And it said Chiang Mai,

Mountains.

Oh,

That sounds good.

Ayutthaya,

Old town.

Okay.

I get a train,

Ayutthaya,

Walk around Ayutthaya,

Buddha,

Buddha's everywhere.

What's that?

It's a Buddha hall,

And tall,

Very tall Buddhas,

All peaceful.

Oh,

Something different here,

I think.

But then I go to Chiang Mai and I found a meditation class.

And then say,

Okay,

The meditation class,

The monk says,

Okay,

We 15 minutes,

We do meditation.

Okay.

He says,

Now,

First of all,

You sit quietly,

Close your eyes,

And focus your mind on breathing in and breathing out.

Just do this.

I've maybe got one inhalation,

And then the mind spinning off.

But even that,

Even just do that,

I could watch my mind.

I could watch my mind running like a wild animal.

But I could watch it.

How can I watch my mind?

Who's watching the mind?

What is it that watches the mind?

Is it the mind watching the mind?

I have two minds.

One mind is running,

One mind is still.

What's this?

I don't understand this.

So I think I better do some more.

So okay.

I can't do this.

I can't do this on my own.

I've got no restraint,

No discipline.

I need to go to a monastery.

Go to a monastery,

Put you inside kuti.

Nothing to read,

Nothing to do,

Nothing to sit and watch breathing.

I did this for three years.

Sit in the kuti.

Struggling three years.

During that time,

All these memories,

Thoughts,

Old habits,

Everything,

All the past,

Everything coming again and again and again,

Same memory,

Same thoughts,

Sounds,

Songs,

Music playing in my head.

So I used to listen to lots of music.

So then when I stopped,

I sit there and music would start playing in my head.

Oh no,

Here we go.

One hour,

Concert.

I wish it'd stop.

And just be there,

Stay there for this time.

And after maybe six months,

Music stopped.

It was so amazing.

It must be nearly enlightened,

Nearly nirnibbana now.

Music has stopped.

And every day just practice the same thing.

And let all the chitta,

All the habits,

All the memories come up,

All the chilesas,

The defilements coming up,

The passions,

The confusion,

The memories,

All coming up.

Stay watching.

Just try to stay in the body.

Walking,

Sitting,

Walking,

Sitting,

Stay,

Stay,

Stay,

Stay.

Every day,

Again,

Every day,

Stop.

Start again.

End of the day,

Stop.

Start again.

Every day,

Every hour,

Sometimes every hour,

Stop.

Start again.

And gradually the chitta begins to finish,

Slow down,

Stop things.

This is what it's like when you have,

As I had no training,

No understanding,

No restraint,

No discipline,

Nothing,

Just always filling up.

And then the result,

You have to have all this experience,

The mind very busy,

Very full.

But yet you can watch the mind and if you stay with it,

Stay with it again,

Again,

Again,

Again,

Again,

Again,

Eventually it gives up.

Just like the animal runs and runs and runs and runs and eventually you just keep pulling back,

Pull it back,

Eventually sits down.

This is the way that you can train.

And so that you always got to practice like that with a sense both of great patience because you realize this doesn't stop immediately.

And great sense of kindness.

The chitta needs to be handled very carefully,

Firmly,

Just like a child.

You hold it firm but also you hold it kindly.

Place it back again and again.

Eventually it begins to lose its bad habits,

Its fascination with sights and sounds and touches and thoughts.

So when we have this opportunity,

We bow,

We grasp,

We surrender ourselves,

We say everything in the past,

Everything bad,

Everything problem,

Now has finished,

Clear and then begin again.

And come back and you do it again.

And you do it again until it's finished,

Until you clear it.

But this is quite normal.

It's quite normal experience.

Some people have more,

Some people have less,

But everybody has the inheritance,

The old karma,

The vipaka.

Just even of,

Not even bad,

Not even anything that bad.

Just too much.

So but the truth of the matter is that the chitta is always bigger than all the habits,

All the karma.

Sometimes it seems that the karma,

The vipaka,

The old habits,

The old actions seem so many and so big that it seems to be,

We've been full of it.

But the chitta is actually much bigger than that.

It's rather like a river,

The river like the Chao Paya River.

And you can have all kinds of things float in the river,

And fish,

You have birds,

You also have rubbish,

You have boats,

You have old rubbish,

All this is in the river.

But the river is always bigger than everything that you throw in it.

But of course,

We tend to notice all the things in the river.

You notice the boats,

You notice the fish,

You notice the rubbish.

And the river is just,

Oh yeah,

But look at that,

That,

That,

That.

So it is with the chitta.

Chitta is like a river.

We notice all the thoughts,

The memories,

The sannyas,

The sights,

The sounds,

All those things floating in it.

And you need to clear enough,

Just enough to be able to understand there's a river there.

I think it's impossible to clear everything.

So much.

You consider even this life,

Let alone previous lives,

How many experiences happen.

The Buddha said if you want to clear all this,

You'll be here forever.

You want to get rid of it all,

You'll be here forever because there's so much.

It's like if you go to take everything out,

It's too much.

You clear enough so that you can see the river.

You see the clarity,

You see the quality of chitta,

That all these perceptions and memories,

They sit inside that.

This quality of chitta,

We call it awareness in English,

Sometimes called knowing.

And it's that quality that I first experienced my first meditation.

It means we can be aware of the activities of our minds.

We can be aware of happiness and unhappiness.

We can be aware of skillful states,

Unskillful states.

We can be aware of sadness.

We can be aware of happiness.

We can be aware of irritation,

Doubt.

Awareness is always there.

And you want to clear enough so that you can just keep turning yourself,

Your attention towards awareness.

And this often means we have to establish two fundamental practices.

One of them is practice of samadhi or collectiveness,

Which means you can establish your attention and hold it firmly so it doesn't follow.

So you can hold your attention so that when a sight comes,

Your mind doesn't grab it,

Stays where it is,

The sight just passes through.

Thought passes through.

Eventually your samadhi can get so clear,

The thought doesn't even touch it.

This is one practice that we will encourage and build over time through sati,

Through mindfulness and through understanding.

But essentially this means even when there's not very much samadhi,

It's not so strong,

And you experience a thought,

Just don't follow it.

You know,

It's a thought.

So sometimes when you,

As you practice,

You're following your breathing and a thought comes up and you follow it and then another thought,

Oh you follow it.

So you don't follow it.

When you don't follow it,

You don't give it any energy.

When it doesn't have any energy,

It just fades out.

Good thought,

Bad thought.

And so the energy that we give thoughts is the energy of our emotions.

Thought itself is nothing really.

It's the emotion.

It means the sense of passion,

Interest,

Belief,

Fascination,

Aversion,

Curiosity,

Delighting in.

It's this quality,

This emotional quality that sticks to sights and sounds and thoughts.

Sights and sounds themselves are just,

They don't do anything.

Sights and sounds don't do anything,

But it's this emotional holding to them,

Seeking delight in them,

Feeling annoyed by them,

Quarreling with them.

This emotional quality,

This is where the problem is.

It's called upadana,

Feeding on,

Clinging to,

Sticking to.

And as an energy takes energy,

The mind,

The citta throws its energy onto the sound,

Onto the sight.

It throws its energy onto the sight or the sound or the thought or the memory.

First,

It doesn't know what else to do.

It's been doing it for so many years.

It's been doing it for so many years.

It's automatic.

You see something and your citta throws itself onto it.

Sometimes it throws itself with aversion.

Sometimes it throws itself with fascination.

Citta throws itself onto sights and sounds and thoughts.

But sights and sounds and thoughts themselves are not a problem.

It's just the citta unconscious habit of throwing itself,

Throwing its energy onto these things and it spins around and feeds on and is sucked like a leech,

Like a leech sticks on your leg.

It sucks,

Sucks the energy.

So your citta gets exhausted and confused and it tries to jump onto something that will feed it.

So like this,

The citta then is confused and it rolls on from this to that from existence,

This existence to that existence.

It does this for a long time.

So in our practice,

We are learning sight,

Sound,

Touch,

Thought,

Some restraint so the citta doesn't throw itself onto these things.

And we're using to support that,

We're using something not sensual but is inequality,

Inequality of the breathing,

Inequality of the body,

Inequality of calm.

So your citta says stay with this,

Stay with this because this will feed you.

Something else will feed you,

This will feed you.

You think this will feed you but it won't.

You've been doing this for years and years.

This will feed you,

This will satisfy you.

This will make you feel satisfied,

Completely satisfied.

So this,

We train and we train the citta to turn this way.

This is called training in samadhi.

And as the citta becomes free or released from its old habits,

The quality,

Its quality of awareness becomes very clear.

Because it's like the river,

Now not much in it.

Water is very clean now.

So you,

Oh.

And it said,

The Buddha said it's rather like the river Ganges,

Very wide,

Vast.

So big that you put something in it,

Doesn't even notice,

Just so big.

It's called the maha citta,

The great citta.

And this is one way we cultivate it,

Through samadhi.

And the other way we cultivate it is through the pramvihara,

This is metta karuna mudita upekha.

This is kindness and compassion and gladness and equanimity.

This also makes the citta very big.

It's like our ability to forgive makes us big.

Our ability to love makes the heart very big.

And when we love without asking for anything back,

The heart gets very big.

So much so that things don't become a problem.

When we experience compassion for ourselves and other beings,

The heart gets very,

Very big.

It doesn't complain.

It doesn't criticize.

It doesn't get caught in anger or ill will or doubt or despair.

So this also is a cultivation,

Ongoing cultivation.

Mudita is the ability to see and appreciate the good.

So when we cultivate this,

We begin to,

As the citta becomes clearer,

We begin to acknowledge the good that we have done.

So even keeping eight precepts for one day,

When you recollect it,

You think these are the standards which lift the citta from any kind of blame.

We recollect living harmless,

No harming,

No violence,

Pure conduct,

Clear mind.

So even one day you recollect that.

The Buddha recommended this practice,

Recollecting one's virtues to do something like this every day.

So you begin to experience quality of gladness,

Pommelja,

And the ability to enjoy,

Enjoy your own good qualities.

It's through enjoying good qualities that the citta begins to turn its attention towards those good qualities.

So like the citta is,

If it's always being steered towards the problem or the difficult things we have done or the past or the future,

Then it always looks that way.

You turn it towards the good qualities,

Even in one day of meditation practice,

One day retreat,

And you ask it to enjoy it,

Just to really acknowledge and sense that.

And you see it in yourself,

Internally,

And you see it in other people.

You see other people also making an effort.

It's not easy.

Other people coming to the meditation,

It's not so comfortable.

Other people walking up and down,

It's not so easy.

It's difficult.

But then you get a sense of respect and appreciation for other beings.

This is one of the great advantages of a retreat,

The sense of mudita,

Enjoyment of good qualities.

And upekha means we hold the mind,

We look on with evenness.

This is karma.

This is results of previous actions.

This is result of being born.

Bodies are like this.

Feelings are like this.

It's like this.

Let it be like that.

With upekha,

We don't compare.

We don't say,

I am like this,

I should be like this.

I am like this,

She's like that.

He's better.

He's worse.

I'm better.

I'm worse.

We don't do that.

We recognize this is karma.

This is a body,

This is mental actions acting like this.

We contemplate them with even mind,

Not getting into holding them or rejecting them or owning them.

Then the mind is just this,

It's just this,

It's just this.

It's just the stuff in the river.

Sometimes the river has a lot of stuff in it.

Some rivers are pretty messy.

But it's just the river is the same.

All rivers are the same.

It's just the stuff in them.

But the river is the same,

It flows.

The water is always essentially clean.

But it gets cluttered with all these things that get stuck in it.

And when we focus with equanimity,

We keep focusing on just the river.

This is awareness,

This is the mind carrying these things.

This is a very powerful practice to do,

Practicing Brahm Vihaan.

Because it means that when we see something displeasing arising,

The mind doesn't grab it and get angry or disappointed or guilty or frightened.

When we see something painful,

Ugly,

Unpleasant in ourselves or in others,

The mind doesn't feel frightened or angry or disappointed.

It just says this is old karma.

So that the mind,

The citta begins to free itself from its emotional habit of jumping onto things,

Sticking to things.

And through this,

Removing this quality of upadana,

It's through this that there is release.

The citta is released.

So two kinds of release,

The partial release we call samatha,

Which means there's less.

There's less happening in the river.

Still a thought,

Feeling,

Sensation,

Not much.

This feels comfortable.

But the complete release is a release in awareness that this is just this.

We don't emotionally jump onto experience,

Good or bad.

Now you look into your own experience and you probably find if you just sit quietly and let your mind move,

You come up with something,

Maybe something you wish you had.

Or maybe something you wish you could do.

Or something you wish you hadn't done.

Or something you regret.

It's because this is the vipaka,

The old actions.

They're like this.

The practice then is to stay steady,

Stay in the body,

Practice,

Don't jump onto things.

It can be very difficult if you haven't practiced at all.

They had an example,

They had an experiment in America,

Maybe 100 people.

And they said to these people,

You have an experiment,

You just sit on a chair.

You can sit there for 15 minutes.

15 minutes,

You can think whatever you like,

Doesn't matter.

Just sit there for 15 minutes without reading anything,

Eating anything,

Saying anything,

Looking at your mobile.

Just sit there 15 minutes,

Just be with your mind for 15 minutes.

You can do that.

Now you can do that for 15 minutes.

Or if you prefer,

You can sit there for 15 minutes.

And we have something here,

Like a little button you can push.

They give you electric shock.

Oh,

Electric shock.

So you can do that,

Or you can do that.

They found that 60% of the men would sooner have electric shock and sit there for 15 minutes.

And one man took over 100 shocks in 15,

100 times.

Because even that,

You get the Veda Naa hits and recedes.

You get some sense of relief,

Because the feeling hits you,

And then it goes down.

You get a little bit relief.

But when you sit there and your mind is not trained,

There's no relief.

It just goes on and on and on.

And sooner or later,

A person starts thinking about themselves.

It feels so good.

Life isn't good.

You get depressed,

Worried,

Restless.

Feel guilty.

Feel unfailing.

No good.

Can't do this.

Useless person.

So you soon have electric shock.

60% of the men and 30% women.

So women seem to find it easier.

Maybe because they have more meta.

Who knows?

But it's really interesting,

Isn't it?

It's the notice that the worst thing we can experience is ourself.

The most painful thing.

Why it's so important to have that time every day when you say whatever.

Whoever I am.

Whoever I think I am.

Whoever I think I am.

Forgive.

Doesn't matter.

Start again.

And this is always possible.

When we start because where the citta is actually is bigger than all the bad,

All the habits,

All the ideas of yourself are just like the things floating in the river.

The river is always bigger.

In fact,

The citta is even bigger than the river.

The citta by itself has no boundaries.

It's called measureless.

There's no boundaries at all.

It's like the ocean.

It's bigger than the ocean.

But for most people,

Their citta is limited through their attention,

Through what they focus on and what they're interested in.

For the Arahant,

The citta is measureless.

And we can begin to get even a sense of that.

Otherwise this is a fundamental quality of citta is not limited within ourselves.

Because one very important thing that all of us experience as human beings is we feel sympathy and kindness for each other immediately.

Someone else's pain,

Someone else's suffering,

Because the citta immediately,

You may say the same thing,

You immediately sense someone else's pain.

Citta is not within you.

You are within the citta.

Your idea of yourself sits within your citta.

It's not your citta sits within yourself.

Yourself is just a small thing floating on the citta.

And chasing itself around.

So much so,

It doesn't see the river.

But when we begin to experience a quality of metta,

Karuna,

Mudita,

Upeka for each other,

We begin to sense someone else's happiness makes me feel happy.

Someone else's goodness makes me feel happy.

Someone else's sorrow,

I feel sympathy.

Someone else,

I want them to feel good.

When I look at someone else,

My natural feeling is I'd like it to be good for them.

I'd like to help them.

I don't know what to do or how to do it,

But this is quite natural.

And we see this fundamental quality in human beings,

Because the human citta really is not within us.

It's not inside.

It's essentially measureless,

Shared.

And for the Arahant,

The expression is we are separate bodies,

But we are one mind.

We are separate in body,

But we are one in mind.

We have a measureless citta,

And we have this separate experience within that.

We are called a body,

And we think we are in here.

Sometimes we are not even in here,

We are just in here.

We live in a little piece up here.

We look down at the rest of it.

This is all we have left,

This little piece.

But when you cultivate,

You begin to spread your awareness down the body,

Around the body,

To the space around you,

And you begin to spread your metta karuna,

Mudita upekha,

Around you,

Till your citta begins to unfold,

Open up,

Become wide and vast.

Jaheem.

Reviews

Enlightening! Thank you.

How well described, the path to understanding. The river, the ocean, the mind ... Calm, faith.

This is great! Thank you universe for leading me here 🙏❤️☀️

Beautiful talk 🙏🏾thank you so much for the knowledge!

This was great but it is a talk, not a meditation.

It's such a gift to have access to this quality of teaching. Grateful thanks.

Very well explained

Thank you for making it all sound so simple. I know it's not, but feeling hopeful. So now to try and try and try again. Peace 💕

🙏🙏🙏I highly appreciate this wonderful explanation. Thank you very much Ajahn for sharing this.

Thank u, wonderful as usual ☺️

I enjoyed this but still am not clear on what citta is exactly.

Excellent insight into your process towards enlightenment. 🙏❤️

Moved me to tears. Couldn’t tell if these tears where for truth opening, sensing all suffering or grieving letting go of the strong hold of fluctuations and desires. Cleansed and in right mind now... or at least a little closer. Humble bow and deep reverence for this teacher.

Thank you ajahn sucitto makes me understand the meditation process of awareness and letting go of thoughts

I needed to hear this. TY🙏🏻🌺