Talk: Letting go through seeing with wisdom

We can not let go of our attachments through an act of willpower. Instead, we have to focus our efforts onto seeing things as they truly are, impermanent.

Transcript

Sometimes we try to let go through willpower.

You know that feeling,

You know it's actually not good to be angry,

You know it's not really the attitude of the Dhamma to be attached to that.

And then we make a big effort to somehow drop it,

To get rid of it.

And that quite regularly fails.

Because the true letting go has to arise from insight,

From wisdom.

It's a natural function,

A natural result of seeing things as they truly are.

The quality of Nipita and Viraga automatically evolve from Yathābhuta and Yāndhādāsana.

So the effort should be directed not immediately on trying to get rid of craving.

The effort should not be directed of kind of forcing the mind to let go.

That is not really possible.

The effort should be directed onto understanding,

To seeing,

And the effort is in the area of comprehension,

Investigation.

It is these basic delusions which cause the attachment,

The basic delusions which are necessary condition for all these defilements,

Anger,

Desire,

Passion,

Aversion and so on to arise.

Why would we be attached to something that we recognize as being unsatisfactory?

The very reason we are attached is because we have this delusion that it will give us happiness.

Even if the body is sick or painful,

We still have the delusion that somehow we can sort it out,

We can come out of this,

And we still deep down believe that the body can provide us with some true happiness.

That is why we are attached to it.

It is the same with feelings,

With all the mental phenomena.

Why do people find it difficult to abandon their thinking when they meditate?

Because there is this delusion that the thoughts will give us the satisfaction.

There is a delusion also that these are my thoughts.

That is another crucial foundation of all the problems we have.

The delusion of ego,

Of I,

Me and mine,

A Sakarya-dhiti personality view,

Personalizing experience,

Conjuring up an identity,

A self,

Around the data of experience.

So these have to be countered by recognizing,

Clearly seeing it is impermanent.

It is natural for the mind to drop something that is recognized as not lasting,

As impermanent.

It is natural for the mind to drop anything that we recognize as not really being me or mine,

As something that doesn't have the qualities of a true self.

It doesn't make sense to stick to that.

Whenever our mind has been calmed down in samadhi,

The hindrances are suppressed or weakened,

The mind is bright,

Energetic,

Filled with joy and energy and brightness,

And you can see clearly that this is what we look out for.

So when feelings arise,

Pleasant,

Unpleasant,

Have you ever seen a feeling lasting forever?

Of course not.

So this is simply what needs to be recognized.

Very often they are very short,

Very quickly changing.

We see how they arise according to conditions.

If there was no sense contact,

Would you feel pleasant or unpleasant?

If you didn't see anything,

You didn't hear anything,

You didn't even think anything or have any object in your mind,

No,

The sense contact is a necessary condition for all feelings.

So we watch that,

Or dependent on some sense contact,

Eye,

Ear,

Nose,

Tongue,

Body and mind,

These feelings arise,

And how with the cessation of that sense contact these feelings cease.

If you're not making a big fuss about a thing,

Even quite excruciating feelings,

You may notice that you're safe,

And even if you have a flu or a headache,

If someone was asking you to just bear up with an excruciating headache for three seconds,

Could you manage three seconds,

Some very heavy pain?

It's not so challenging,

Isn't it?

What is really challenging is usually we feel,

Oh,

This may last,

I may have that forever,

This may be chronic.

The moment it becomes apparent that it's very impermanent,

The mind,

Even on a fairly simple basic level,

Never will drop it.

That refers to both the pleasant feelings and the unpleasant ones.

Curiously,

We're also attached to unpleasant feelings,

And the same technique can be used,

And see them as impermanent.

We are attached to the emotion of aversion,

Hate and love,

Both binding forces of the same strength.

You will meet your enemies in future lives,

Just like you meet people you love,

As a very strong bond,

Hate with anger,

Just as a bond of affection and love.

This is why we're also attached to our unpleasant feeling,

Because there's so much aversion against them.

The moment we can see them as impermanent,

The aversion will drop away.

What's the point working ourselves into a frenzy about something which is so insubstantial,

Long-lasting,

So unreliable?

The same with the thinking thoughts.

We watch it,

Or they rise and pass away.

We watch how we can't control it.

There's a good way of approaching another non-self,

Not me,

Not mine.

The self goes together with the ability to control.

Ownership means having control.

The moment you buy something,

You assume this is mine now,

It usually means that you can control it.

And it's your house,

And you do with it what you like.

I generally accept the delusion there.

Whenever we convince ourselves and show ourselves that we actually can't control it,

That it is utterly dependent on all kinds of conditions,

Which are only very vaguely under our control,

If at all,

The delusion of self is now undermined,

Is weakened.

So rather than struggling and forcing the mind to let go when it doesn't want to,

It's much better using the indirect approach,

Going to investigate that object that we're attached to,

And see how impermanent it is,

Or it can never give us lasting satisfaction,

And to see how that thing arises due to causes and conditions,

And passes away due to causes and conditions,

To see how we can't control it,

But to show us that there's no point in regarding it as I,

Me,

And mine,

That it doesn't have the qualities that a self,

By definition,

Should have.

We also look at the faculty doing the attaching.

We look at that emotion of attaching,

Of liking,

Of affection.

We look at that emotion of aversion,

Anger,

And we see how that is also conditioned.

If you didn't have any sense contact,

You don't see anything,

You don't hear anything,

You don't even think anything,

You don't imagine anything,

Would you feel angry?

They also require certain conditions.

When you have a nice meditation,

And the mind is calm and relaxed,

Settled down on the breath,

Do we feel angry?

No.

Anger is simply a product of certain internal,

External conditions coming together,

Triggering it.

When these conditions are lacking,

Because the mind is settling down and calming down in some order,

Then the anger will vanish.

So we watch and observe that.

Whenever anger comes up,

We're not overwhelmed by it,

Because we see it as an impersonal phenomenon arising and passing away.

It's the same with affection,

Craving,

Desire,

Wanting.

It boils down to recognize things which are there anyhow.

The Buddha is now pointing out in which area to look,

But you don't have to conjure that up and invent it.

It is there in reality,

Impermanence,

Happening whether the Buddha teaches or not.

His teaching is only meant for us to recognize it more easily.

It gives us an area in which to look.

When someone points us in the right direction,

We can easier recognize it,

But independent from the pointing,

It is already there.

We need patience,

And we have to do that investigation.

For a prolonged period,

We have to make it deeper.

We have to investigate with a good basis of samadhi,

So that we can truly see this clarity.

Then we can use letting go as a confirmation whether we truly see it,

Because we can sometimes also just imagine that we see it.

It's easy to say it's impermanent,

And it's easy to say,

I believe,

In Anatta.

Most traditional Buddhists will claim that.

But we can investigate whether we truly see it by investigating whether there is any letting go.

If we still get very worked up,

If we are still overwhelmed,

Then the insight was very superficial.

So the acid test is always to check out whether there is some letting go occurring,

Whether the heart is unburdening itself.

That is the hallmark of any genuine insight.

If it's seen on a deeper level,

As impermanent,

Non-safe,

And unsatisfactory,

Then there is always a sense of letting go,

To some extent at least.

Reviews

Very practical and useful talk. Thank you Bhante 🙏🙏🙏

The insight and calmness...wow.

Really helpful insight into the relationship between impermanence and letting go.

Really thought provoking, interesting and worthwhile.

Thanks for sharing this important information with us

Deeply helpful insights into the process of letting go.

Very succinct and powerful. Thank you.

I lost my father in law Sunday. I needed these words to help unwrap my heart. Thank you.💓.

Very effective. Helped me let go of my anger

Very practical talk. Very good advice. Thank you Ajahn.

Helpful
Thank you

Great talk, very helpful to be reminded again and again about this.

Thanks for sharing!

Namaste 🙏🙏🙏💕

Important teaching. Thank you!

Thank you very helpful

Very good but dense. I will have to listen to several times.

This meditation deals with the complex, challenging concept of impermanence. Much to learn. An excellent meditation.

Clear and enjoyable to listen to. He makes it easy to understand. Thank you.