Mindful Self Compassion Break

From the Mindful Self Compassion program by Kristin Neff and Chris Germer. The self compassion break is a great tool to help with suffering. Try the recording first and then the 3 steps can be used really briefly in daily life. One of a set of "being with difficult emotions" that I have prepared inspired by different teachers and traditions. In general practicing with emotions of a 2-6/10 difficulty rather than more intense emotions is recommended.

Transcript

Perhaps there's a situation in your life that's difficult right now.

A health problem or a relationship problem,

Something happening at work.

Allow yourself to really notice this situation.

Can you even allow the uneasiness that you might find in your body?

Where do you feel it the most?

Simply making contact with the discomfort that you feel in your body.

The first component of the self-compassion break is the mindfulness.

Say into yourself slowly and clearly,

This is a moment of suffering.

Perhaps,

Ouch,

This doesn't feel so good,

Oh this hurts.

The second component of the self-compassion break is common humanity.

So perhaps saying to yourself again slowly and clearly,

Suffering is a part of living.

Or perhaps,

I'm not alone,

Or me too,

Or others in this situation feel like I do.

It's good to remember that suffering is universal but not equal across individuals and groups.

And seeing if you can connect with at least one person or persons that's similar to yourself.

The third component of the self-compassion break is self-kindness.

So perhaps,

Putting your hands over your heart or wherever it feels supportive for you,

May be feeling the warmth of your hands,

That soothing supportive touch.

And using kind words with a really gentle tone,

Something like,

May I be kind to myself,

May I give myself what I need.

Perhaps checking out what quality of self-compassion you need right now,

Yin or yang.

Yin language might be,

May I accept myself just as I am,

Or may I care for myself tenderly in this moment.

Yang language might be,

No,

I will not allow myself to be harmed in this way,

Or may I have the courage and strength to make a change.

If you're having difficulty finding the right words,

Perhaps imagining that a dear friend or loved one is in the same situation.

What would you say to this person,

Heart to heart,

Without giving advice,

Without trying to fix?

If that friend were to hold just a few of your words in her mind or his mind,

What would you like them to be?

What message would you like to deliver?

Now can you offer the same message to yourself?

Gently opening your eyes,

Perhaps taking another minute to settle and reflect on the self-compassion break.

Reviews

The concept of a yin or yang approach to self compassion was unique and interesting. I enjoyed thinking about it in a different way. Thank you.

Thank you for offering this. I appreciated the idea of ying and yang language. May we all be kind to ourselves and each other.