Patterns In Your Spiritual Path

In this edition of "Sessions With Self", we look at the themes of our spiritual path which show themselves as the same ongoing challenges and limiting patterns we experience. I offer 3 insights on how you can help yourself change your relationship with these limiting beliefs and experiences to gain more clarity, peace, and understanding in your life.

Transcript

Hey,

Inside Timer.

Welcome back to Sessions With Self.

I want to start this edition off by asking you a question to consider.

What would you say is the theme of your spiritual journey?

Lately this has been on my mind because we all have a quote-unquote theme song to our spiritual path.

Most of us have several.

These themes tend to show themselves when we repeatedly experience the same familiar challenges,

Feelings,

Thoughts,

And behavior patterns throughout our life.

They play subtly,

So to speak,

In the background of our experience.

For me,

One of my lifelong themes is feeling like I'm always on the outside looking in,

Mainly when I'm in a group setting.

It's always been as if I'm some observing outsider,

Completely removed from the interaction with the people I'm with.

Recently,

I got together with some longtime friends that I hadn't seen in a while.

Throughout all the chatting and catching each other up on each other's lives,

Those same old familiar outsider feelings began to come over me.

And boom,

Right on cue.

That's all it took for my mind to start affirming those familiar feelings.

So I would hear things like,

Oh,

I don't fit in.

I'm such an outsider.

No one understands me.

I'm different.

They almost think I'm a weirdo,

And so forth and so on.

And after that experience of being with my friends,

It prompted me to revisit why I experienced these feelings.

So having explored this extensively throughout my life,

I know these thoughts are mere projections.

Cognitively,

I know no one is judging me,

But it's really me who is judging myself.

And this really comes down to I have some ingrained beliefs that I've memorized in childhood.

So deep down,

There's an unconscious belief that I'm an outsider.

Deep down,

There's an unconscious belief that I don't fit in.

And in turn,

I experienced reality in this matter under those circumstances.

Even though rationally and cognitively,

I know that this is not the case,

But these beliefs are so ingrained,

They're memorized as a part of myself.

So I decided to really explore and write this out and have like a session of just contemplating why.

So when I first did this exercise a few years ago,

It all started to make sense as to why I experienced this.

And it all comes down to childhood like everything else.

Growing up,

I experienced my immediate family,

My mom,

My dad,

And my sisters as being outside providers within our larger family.

This caused feelings of shame and isolation when I was in those larger family gatherings.

Then when I went to elementary school,

This was only reinforced.

I wasn't part of the in-crowd or a popular kid.

So I experienced the same feelings of disconnection.

Eventually though,

This all became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Unconsciously,

I would purposely separate myself from others because it felt safe.

Playing the outsider role was familiar and predictable,

Which meant safety.

So even though I didn't purposely and consciously put myself in situations that would make me feel like an outsider,

My subconscious mind would.

So the reason why I mentioned this and told you a little bit about my experience,

Because I wanna share with you some of the ways I've been able to help myself and work through these limiting beliefs and ongoing patterns that,

As I mentioned,

Have almost been like the theme song to my spiritual path.

And maybe they can help you on yours.

So the first thing is mindfulness.

I've worked really hard at trying to recognize when I purposely sabotage myself to reinforce these limiting beliefs.

I try to be mindful of anything I am doing to create that narrative.

So when I'm with people or I'm in a group setting,

I'm constantly checking my energy.

I try to be mindful of what vibe I'm giving off.

I consider my body posture and my facial expressions.

Am I making eye contact?

Am I deliberately keeping to myself?

A good practice that has helped me before I go into any social event is setting the intention of how I want to experience it.

I try to be mindful of all the things and triggers that might cause me to go unconscious.

I either do this with visualization exercises or just by simply journaling.

I ask myself two questions.

The first is,

How do I want to feel during this event?

And the second,

What expression of myself would I like to share with others today?

So how do I want to feel during this event?

And what expression of myself do I want to share with the people I am with?

Asking these questions is really profound because when I'm in the actual social situation and those limiting beliefs start popping up in my mind,

The answers to these questions of how I want to experience,

How I want to feel in this moment,

Come back to me.

So it's almost like you're priming yourself before you go into the actual event.

The second way in which I've helped myself is radical acceptance.

I've slowly had to learn to come to terms with these feelings and thoughts.

Instead of trying to push them away or even change them,

I accept this.

I accept these feelings,

I accept these limiting beliefs,

I accept it as the theme song to my spiritual journey.

That doesn't mean I stopped trying to work to be better or try to work through these issues.

It means rather than being hell-bent on trying to break the pattern,

I work to change my relationship with it by trying to understand these struggles more deeply while letting them be at the same time.

Psychologist,

Carl Rogers,

Refers to this as the curious paradox,

Which says when I accept myself just as I am,

Then I can change.

In other words,

When we stop focusing our energy on trying to change and just simply learn to accept who we are,

Flaws and all,

Ironically,

This is what creates the space for change.

This is what allows us to grow.

Additionally,

Sometimes feelings can run so deep and are so conditioned that you'll drive yourself crazy trying to fix them.

It can feel like you're fighting an uphill battle,

And in many ways,

You are.

But I've learned,

When you spend your time lamenting over a part of yourself you wish was different,

You really begin to miss out on living the parts of your life that you cherish.

Thinking something is wrong with you is never the answer to healing.

And the third way that has really helped me is by shifting my perspective that these limiting beliefs,

These patterns,

Are a part of my soul's mandate.

And what I mean by this is our souls came here to learn certain lessons.

Many of these come in the form of struggles,

And we will keep experiencing these same struggles repeatedly until we fully learn the lesson.

These themes and ongoing patterns are a part of our spiritual journey,

And that makes them beautiful in their own right.

They are unique to your individual path.

So maybe for me,

This ongoing experience of viewing the world as an outsider is part of mine,

And I accept that.

It could be something my soul needs me to keep exploring,

And maybe for the entirety of my current physical life,

And that's okay.

The important thing is understanding that there's a greater truth waiting to be discovered from these issues,

From this pattern.

Could this pattern turn into something sacred?

Could all the anguish I experienced from battling this issue eventually turn into something that is so worth it yet irrelevant at the same time because of the greater insight and growth and understanding that I've gained about myself and my journey?

That's what makes it a beautiful part because it's part of your spiritual journey.

You're here to learn something from this and gain deeper insight and wisdom.

So the next time you're in a situation where the same familiar feelings and thoughts are popping up and it feels like,

Wow,

This is one of those again.

This is that familiar quote-unquote theme song of my life playing in the background.

Consider just allowing it and understand that,

Yeah,

You're always going to want to work through it,

But there's something great on the other side of this to be discovered.

There's a greater truth that your soul perhaps is calling you to understand at a very deep and intimate level.

So thank you for joining me again.

It truly is an honor to share my journey with you.

Until next time,

Keep blessed in that beautiful light of yours and much love.

Reviews

Interestingly enough and most of the times, we look for those familiar dynamics as we would feel lost without. I feel sometimes I need to go back to those, as if I wouldn't want to leave them because they served me as real defense through life. It's definitely not easy to reprogram the subconscious in the way we want.

Thank you. That was great.

So helpful, thank you. It made me instantly reach for my journal.🙏

What is the theme/theme song of your spiritual journey based on repeated patterns? This is the first time I’ve heard it/self awareness put this way. What a meaningful connection to self awareness when worded this way! Thank you for the revelations today.

Very helpful. Your talks speak to me. Thank you. 🙏

This was amazing, thank you. I felt like you were talking about me. I've always thought there was something wrong with me & always trying to figure out why nobody likes me & not being successful at finding the answer. You said so much that I needed to hear