When my friend was hired to work the reception desk of a popular hotel,
Prior to answering phones and booking rooms,
They had him spend a month doing everything from housekeeping to room service,
Laundry,
Bellhop,
And so on.
I used to work at a restaurant with the same philosophy,
Where supervisors were made,
Not hired.
The idea was that it's crucial for everyone on staff to understand everybody else's job.
Whenever a manager asked for something to be done,
They knew exactly what was involved and how much time it would take.
There was camaraderie amongst everyone working together toward the same goal rather than working for one another in an endless power struggle.
While working in a law firm,
It was frowned upon for lawyers to have lunch with their paralegals or for the secretaries to fraternize with the receptionists.
I'm just using these examples of segregation to show how lack of connection leads to a greater social gap between us,
Almost like a caste system that nobody talks about.
The golden rule with which many of us were raised to treat others the way we wish to be treated is an outdated model.
The platinum rule,
On the other hand,
Invites us to treat others the way they want to be treated,
And we can never know how they want to be treated unless we ask.
If we don't get curious about other perspectives,
We run the risk of thinking we are actually right about something,
Or worse yet,
Thinking we are superior to someone else.
I love the joke that one day scientists are going to discover what's at the center of the universe and many people will be very disappointed to find out it isn't them.
While we are wired for connection with one another,
We are unfortunately programmed for protection from one another.
This creates miles of separation between us,
Which explains why so many of us feel alone and disconnected from one another.
When my car broke down in a foreign country and I was stranded on the side of the road with a dead cell phone,
All I wanted was for someone,
Anyone,
To pull over to help,
By either calling a tow truck or maybe offering me a bottle of water while I stood there in the afternoon sun.
I watched all the passing motorists zoom by and longed for some connection with anyone kind enough to pull over.
If you were in that situation and someone pulled over to offer their help,
You wouldn't ask them who they voted for,
If they believed in Jesus,
Moses,
Or Muhammad,
Or if they identified as male,
Female,
Or neither.
You would just say thank you.
When it comes to connection,
None of the stuff we think matters ends up mattering at all.
Perhaps more importantly,
If you are the one driving and you see someone broken down on the side of the road,
Help them.
It doesn't matter who they voted for,
If they believe in Jesus,
Moses,
Or Muhammad,
Or if they identify as male,
Female,
Or neither.
Just offer them a bottle of water or a ride to the nearest service station,
Whatever they need.
Ask.
I'm about to say something I might later regret not being able to articulate more skillfully.
The problem is not that the things that separate us are stupid.
What's stupid is the fact that they separate us.
One of my teachers used to say,
Instead of meditating for 30 minutes on peace and relieving suffering in the world,
Meditate for 15 minutes and then get off your cushion,
Roll up your sleeves,
And use the other 15 minutes to actually relieve suffering in the world.
We witness people coming together for earthquake and hurricane rescue efforts,
Right?
But we don't need a disaster to force us to think outside of ourselves,
Do we?
Connection is the key to empathy.
Let's use it to come together because of our common humanity.
Humankind.
Be both.
