Ill Will

When you feel the impulse to hurt someone (or when someone hurts you), remember that we can't soothe our own pain by placing it on someone else. We actually increase our suffering when we harbor ill-thoughts toward others.

Transcript

There are five challenges to staying on the path of mindfulness.

Desire,

Laziness,

A scattered mind,

Doubt,

And ill-will.

The feeling of ill-will toward others,

Wishing for something unpleasant to happen to someone else,

Stems from something unpleasant within us.

I recently met someone who was so rude,

Greedy,

Selfish,

And hateful,

I can only imagine how miserable she must be.

In her desperate attempt to feel good,

Superior,

Important,

Or powerful,

She apparently needs to view others as inferior and unworthy.

She consciously made a decision that negatively impacted others but benefited her,

And I admit to feeling the ill-will impulse to be vindictive and hurtful right back.

But,

When I started looking at my own desire to hurt her,

I remembered that hurt people hurt people.

My desire to hurt her stemmed from my own disappointment,

As if causing pain to someone else would somehow relieve me of my own.

So,

Instead of trying to find ways to make her life worse,

I figured she must already be suffering enough or she wouldn't be treating people the way she does.

Thoughts become words,

And words become actions.

If I were a Zen master,

Maybe I could control my thoughts,

But I am not,

So I do the next best thing.

I use mindfulness to control my words and actions,

Which is a good place to start.

I hope we can all lengthen the pause between impulse and response,

And treat everyone with kindness,

Patience,

And generosity.

Feel the ill-will,

Explore it,

Release it,

And then go sit next to Rumi,

Who said,

Beyond right and wrong,

There is a field.

I will meet you there.

Reviews

Thank you.

This was very enlightening thank you so much for sharing this with us my friend Namaste have a beautiful day

Thank you for this very helpful reminder Timber, namaste 🙏🏾☀️

Very helpful! I see that the goal is not to control our thoughts but to not allow our thoughts to interfere with doing the next right thing?

Thanks Timber. I always enjoy listening to your talks. I love this Rumi quote it's one of my favorites and is written in my notebook and my heart. Love and blessings to you

Always spot on, Timber. It is actually helpful to know that after all your years of practice, the triggers can still try to run their game on you. Metta meditations have helped me with this as well. Once I’m firmly rooted in compassion, the arrows don’t seem to hit their intended mark. (BTW, I sent a request in to meet back in March and never heard back from the scheduler. Thanks!, Laura)